How close to another friend's wedding would you get married?

Question

Alright. One of my close friends from college got engaged May 2008. She has already planned the wedding for October 2009. My boyfriend and I are planning on getting engaged soon (very soon) and I have no idea when to plan my wedding. I would like a spring wedding (because of my color choices) and I want an outdoor wedding in Arizona. And because of the weather fall and spring are the only options. But I love my boyfriend and don't want to wait a year and a half to get married. 2 questions... is it rude to get married around the same time as your friend (a month before even though she got engaged first). And 2, if we didn't wait and got married in fall 2009, does it really matter/would anybody care if we had spring colors in fall? Or should we just wait almost 2 years? Thanks for your help!

Answer 1

One of my close friends is getting married and I'm in her wedding. I am getting married also and she is in mine. We were both engaged within a month of each other and her wedding is Sept 6, 08, My wedding is Oct 25, 08. We have had a lot of fun planning together. The only downsides (which were no big deal) was scheduling my shower and bachelorette party. I didn't want her to miss them but I didn't want to overwhelm her right after she got back from her honeymoon. It all worked out fine though. The money is a little stressful, but you know what you're getting into and just budget accordingly. I actually recommend it, you have a sounding board 24/7 and vice-versa.

Answer 2

You can get married whenever you feel like. You don't plan your life around other people. You do what is best for you and then let everything fall into place. We set our date and friends of ours who were engaged months afterwards set their date for 1 week before ours. You know what, it wasn't that big of a deal and it all worked out in the end. We also had close friends (my husband was the best man) get married 2 weeks after us. We planned around each other and made sure there was a 2 week break so there could be a honeymoon in between. Yes it was a busy few weeks but it was a heck of a lot of fun, and no one had a problem with it, Have it in the fall of 2009, have it in the spring of 2009, have it in 3 months if you want. Really it is about what is right for you and your fiance, not what is right for your friends. If they are truly your friends they will support you and work with you.  

Answer 3

Well, a month apart so you can comfortably attend one another's, but otherwise it really doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter who got engaged when.

Can you swing it for next spring? That would be cool. Otherwise, have it in early September - and you can use ANY colors you like!

(C'mon, you know you don't want to wait two years!)

Answer 4

My roommate and I are in the exact same situation - I got engaged 8 months before he did, and he is getting married a month before I am. If you're in her wedding and/or she is in yours then it can be a little awkward, but it's workable.

The downside that I've found is that we're both in wedding-planning mode, so we feed off of each other, and spend more time stressing about wedding stuff than we would have if we had sane people around.

And the time of year does not in any way dictate what colours you can wear. Skin and hair tones do not change with the seasons.

Answer 5

I don't think it would be rude to get married around the same time.  I'm going to leave it there because I'm not big on weddings, but no I don't think it would be rude.  

Answer 6

last year i got engaged in december and married in august. one of my friends got engaged in december, right after me, and married in july. another friend of mine was engaged before me and got married in june (i was also in that wedding). another friend of mine got engaged in february and married in april. none of us had a problem with each others wedding date and we were all there to support each other. set your date for when you want to, i wouldn't make it for the same weekend but other than that do what you want. if your really friends then they will not care what date you choose, they will just be happy for you.

Answer 7

I recommend you not counting your chickens till they hatch, is what I recommend.  Almost engaged isn't engaged, and engaged isn't married.  Anything could happen between now and then.

Answer 8

cali_23_:

if you're not big on weddings why are you in the wedding section?

ne ways..to answer your question i dont think it matters. as long as the two of you are happy and wanting to get married during that time go for it but dont jump ahead to a wedding if your not engaged yet. if your friends have a problem with it just tell them that you chose the date because of the reasons you previously mentioned :)

Answer 9

Get married when it's right for you, and don't think about your friend in the process. They chose October 2009 because it was right for them. You don't have to be engaged as long as they will be, and you have every right to get married before them.