How come 50% of marriages end in divorce?

Question

Current statistics say that around 50% of marriages in America end up in divorce. That's a big number of married couples splitting up! A very big number indeed. No wonder why so many young Americans who are screwed up. I think a good majority of kids who grew up with parents who have split apart have a hard time understanding what a meaningful relationship is and thus repeat the cycle. Maybe relationships and marriage are evolving into something else. Who knows?

Answer 1

50% make it...Look at the half full glass and not the half empty one!

Life is much better that way!

Answer 2

marriage has very little to do with why our kids are so screwed up.  it comes down to bad parenting, no parenting and lack of parenting.  people need to step up and learn to parent effectively and raise their children to be responsible adults instead of being whiny, can't do anything for myself but i expect everything now adults.

Answer 3

Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg

on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but

many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring

could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your

spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk

honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more

serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a

blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If

you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it.

http://howtogetmyexback1.blogspot.com/

Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when

you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love

isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may

just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in

love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you

don't think you like the person anymore.

Answer 4

thats a new start for some. it's to simple now-adays to get divorced. women force men to go that-way when they cut them off sexually.

Answer 5

Some get married for the wrong reason and some are too lazy to work the issues out and some shy way from their responsibilities as spouses and parents and some find the grass on the other side greener.

Answer 6

so simple- because young couples get married for lust and are short sighted. Don't understand the actual meaning of the work "commitment"

Answer 7

in our days is easy,the people don't want sharing responsibility

Answer 8

because too many people decide to take the Big plunge before truly knowing the other person

Answer 9

After celebrating 37 years of marriage in August, it is difficult to keep a marriage going if your focus is on you or your spouse.  You need a purpose and common goal in life.  Our marriage is focused on Jesus Christ.  When you follow the ultimate book on marriage (The Bible), you have a better chance of sticking it out.  

Answer 10

Because our society stopped valuing the family.  

We are so worried about being "pc" or not imposing our views on others that we are a society who is accepting of almost everything.  

Hugh Hefner with his p**n empire and 3 live in girlfriends is glorified!  All our Hollywood celebrities who choose to make babies with people they are not married too are held up as role models.  We, as a society, don't respect the importance of a committed, Husband and Wife to children.  And you do have the ramifications of divorce for children of divorce as well, there's no denying its impact on children and their abilities, as adults, to form healthy relationships.  But, to address your comments; it's not about relationships and marriage evolving into something else as much as it about our societal expectations of them.  If we expect, as a group, different behaviors in this regard and stopped glamorizing and accepting without hesitation the breakdown of the American family, this trend would turn around in time.

Answer 11

I think the reason that so many marriages end in divorce is because divorce is considered an option.  I recently purchased a book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.  In it there is an excerpt that I would like to share about a married man and his views on divorce.  He is a firefighter, and speaking of how they get hot because of the heavy gear and intense heat they face.

     "It's the same feeling we get when we're stnading in the sun on a hot summer day when you're wearing a hot, heavy sweater.  Intolerable!  The only reason wearing heavy clothing in the summer becomes intolerable is because we have the choice not to.  If the choice is not there, it somehow becomes bearable -- because you endure.

     "In firefighting, I have to wear a heavy turnout coat and pants in the heat.  I never get the TEAR THIS STUFF OFF NOW OR I'M GUNNA DIE feeling.  That fact that I'm baking never even occurs to me becasue tehre's nothing I do about it -- taking the stuff off it not an option.

     "Marriage and divorce is the same way.  So many people are getting divorces because they consider it as an option.  Even if it's a last option, they will still turn to it when things get too 'hot.'  Marriage is very tolerable when you don't keep your eye on the EXIT door.

     "In my marriage we don't even consider divorce as an option, so there is no temptation to take that route, and things we experience become tolerable.  There are times divorce has entered my head, but I just throw it out and know I have to work on making things 'cooler,' not just running from the heat.

     "Life is hot.  Heat is everywhere."

I LOVE what this man said, because it's so true.  DO NOT look at divorce as an option.  Of course there are certain things that should be exceptions -- such as if your spouse is abusing you or cheating on you repeatedly.

People too often throw away their marriage vows now a days, and it's definitely wrong.  My husband and I follow this man's example and it works wonderfully.  Now when the going gets tough, neither of us worry about the other jumping up and leaving because we know it's not a possibility. :)

Answer 12

Because many (50%+) see it as long-term dating, even if they do not admit to it.

Answer 13

same as it ever was. It takes lots of work throughout. Ive been married 22 yrs. and I sometimes ask myself why. But, we still are together and I would not want to be married to no one else. It dont come easy.

Answer 14

To answer your question, I would think that husbands and wives are selfish and really do not know what love or giving love is all about.  Sure you hear people talking about s*x, but there is more to a marriage than s*x right?  It is being there for each other through good times and bad times.  It is loving the other person more than you love yourself.  Having God in your relationship is the main key to any marriage.  I have been married twice.  The first was a 12 year disaster, but the second marriage of 20 years, has been great.  Now don't get me wrong, we have our differences, but the love we have for each other is more than our differences.  Giving to your spouse without expecting something back in return is real love.  When both people give to each other, both will receive.  My last point is communication.  People would rather talk to someone on this site than to talk with their spouse.  Regardless of your disagreements, they need to be talked out and even if you yell at each other, it is better than the alternative like divorce.  People forget the love they had for each other before they got married and expect more from their partner instead of giving more to their partner.  Sorry this is long, but this isn't a one sentence answer.  Hope this helps you!

Answer 15

The stats are a LOT higher than 50%.  I think the stats are so high because fewer couples are willing to work it out or stay in a miserable situation.  Divorce is an option available to us all...just like marriage is.  Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesnt. I think its ridiculous to stay in a situation that doesnt work for you.  

Answer 16

It is way to easy to do. If they made it harder, maybe people would think about it more before doing it.  

Answer 17

Most marriages fail because they didn't' really know each other well enough.They get married just after a short time,and that's when they start finding out things about one another that they dislike. For example the man of the house is nothing but a lazy bum that doesn't know how to clean up after himself. Doesn't know how use a push mower ,and the list goes on. The lady of the house always wears s**y revealing cloths when she goes out.And her man hates it.Or the man thinks he has his on slave to wait on him hand,and foot. People need to real get to know each other and not just for the s*x. s*x is great but it won't put food on the table or pay for your rent/mortgage.And make sure you both know how to balance a check book..Have money in the bank not only for checks  but money in a savings account.If you have your self a budget worked out stay on that budget. I've seen it over ,and over if people have extra money they must spend it on something that they really don't need in the first place .Why not put that money in your savings account,and leave it

there,and don't think about.Out of sight out of mind.Take time to know each other.I would say between four to five years of dating.And do everything you just like your married.

Answer 18

Because everyone is trying to get rid of God! God made marriage. Marriage is a religious institution. No God = no morals = inevitable divorce.  

Answer 19

Because all relationships take two people and now half want out while the other half doesnt. No seriously our society along with modern TV shows and soaps shows exactly just how easy it is to get out of an unwantd relationship nowadays. Even the courts have made getting out alot easier than it used to be when divorcing couples had to go thru court ordered marriage counseling before proceeding. With most families being two income families, kids grow up seeing no family infrastructure and are being raised on their own so kids nowadaysdont know what true families are, lone less how to fight to stay together like the Waltons or Leave it to Beaver-Cleavors. We show our kids no family values/ethics anymore so we are reaping what we sow with no good future in sight.If the world is to survive then we must first save our families and marriages from total elimination

Answer 20

It's turned into a generational cycle. Young people see their folks splitting up and they do the same when the going gets rough. Also, America is truly the home of the brave. People don't seem to be afraid of divorce and what it'll cost them and their kids.

  

Answer 21

honestly cause people get married to say they have a husband  and/or wife and dont really look at the commitment that they are agreeing too. And half of them want to see what its like to experience things with other people and decide to drop there pants and i am not just refering to men.  

Answer 22

I believe it started happening with the Womens Rights Movement.  Before that time generally the women stayed home and took care of the house, the children and the husband.  Dinner was on the table when he got home.  Things were simple, He earned the money , she took care of the rest.  

I belive this is the way we as Men and Women are designed to to work best.  I think marriages (whether or not I agree with the idea),  Work best when the man wears the pants in the family.  It is not good if both people where the pants, it rarely works, and its not good if the women wears the pants, the men become less masculine, and try to make up for it, by going out with other women, working too long of hours ( to get away from their crabby wifes), or in some cases becoming addicted to p**n, or drinking too much.

There are too many power struggles in the homes today, who should spend more time with the kids? Who needs to do the cleaning?   Who is working most, earning more? Who deserves this or that?

I enjoy my husband being the provider for my family.  I do work also, but partime and from home, so my primary responsiblity is still  the children and the house.  He wears the pants in our family, and I am fine with that.  

There is a very fine line between a Strong women and a Bitchy women. If a women crosses the line, she generally makes a pretty crapy wife.  

Answer 23

More focus on the wedding and not the marriage.

Easy to just give up instead of communicate.

Answer 24

Well i grew up in a household where i had a step dad, meaning my mom had been divorced. she has had 3 marriages and the last one stuck.

I know the meaning of marriage, and i know that it is work, I am 23 and have not married because of this, i want to be certain that i can spend the next 60-70 years with someone, and i am almost positive that i have found that guy...but we are still not ready for marriage, well he says he is, but im not quite...

Answer 25

Because people have the delusion that a little piece of paper issued by the government will make their relationship with this other person so much better. When they realize that's all BS they divorce.

Answer 26

People now-a-days are more likely to run away from their problems than to sit down and actually fix them. Nobody wants to admit they are or doing wrong, so they run out to find someone to put up with their "shortcomings" instead of actually fixing their screwed up disorders!

Answer 27

I believe it is because people Fall in Love with the idea of Being in Love.  

Being wanted, desired - and having that emotion returned passionately to you - that's hard-wired into everyones DNA.

But then, the passion fades.  Work, family, LIFE begins to take its' toll.  If the match was simply a meeting of lust and physical attraction rather than a meeting of the minds, it can't succeed.  Marriage is HARD WORK!  

Marriage is: compromising, giving in, giving up, holding out, trust, supporting, believing, admitting guilt, admitting doubt, amoung tons of other things.  Some people are selfish, and others are vain, and still others find fault in everyone else. Some tolerate it for so long, and some run out the door.  Some stay for good, often for the wrong reasons, but are miserable in the relationship.

Diagnosis:  Not enough commitment, communication, and too high of expectations.

Answer 28

Because of liberalism.

PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE. It presents some points not thought of by most people and explains it all:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

Answer 29

Because there is no good example of a Good Marriage anymore... Women are treated as objects rather than people and they are treated as s*x objects... Women these days are not an example of a wife, and a mother to her children! Everything in the media is about cheating, s*x and divorces. Kids today don't have a good example to look up to and neither do their parents. It is easier for them to get out of a relationship then to be in one and to make it work... and they don't do what's right, they do what is easy! Kids are having s*x younger and younger these days and they don't understand the real meaning of a relationship.... a relationship to them is being with an opposite s*x or even same s*x and just having s*x, and when they fight they get out and find someone else to have s*x with.... that is the meaning of a relationship today, and the American society will ONLY get worse from this point on not better and that divorce rate will increase more and more every year!