How come I have no CONFIDENCE! I'm sick of it :( and need help!!?

Question

I have absolutley no confidence and I just am so mad at myself for that. Like, I am so self-concious and I don't even no why! I shouldn't be! Like I am so sick of myself and get so angry at myself, I am always covering myself and afraid to like show myself or be myself and I really think its settting me back, but I don't know how to fix it and my parents aren't really supporting me, so I don't know what to do!

Help

thnx. . .

Answer 1

Go do something macho that really forces you to push yourself. Hunting Mixed martial arts. Nail a cover model.

Answer 2

Everyone is self-conscious about something.  Even the most outgoing and seemingly confident people are often covering up insecurities.  In fact, the ones that seem to be most confident are often the ones who crumble at small put-downs or disappointments, whereas the quieter ones are often much more resilient and stronger people all round.

Being popular with others because you are funny or attractive makes it easier to integrate more confidently, but it's often a fake image being presented.

What are you scared of?

Being the centre of attention and then making a fool of yourself maybe?

Everyone does or says foolish things that make them cringe later when they think back.  It's just that when you think that you are being looked and laughed at that these insignificant things seem more important and cringeworthy.

Go and try to force yourself to do a few things that terrify you.  Things that make you feel inside like you have achieved a goal.  You would be amazed at how much more self-confidence that brings you.

Are you maybe larger or more chunky than others?

Don't be afraid to be different.  Wear something that expresses what you want to express - within reason.

If you are constantly thinking that people are looking at you in some odd way, then they probably will focus on you.  What you are thinking inside often shows itself to others, so try to forget about the fact that you are feeling awkward and sticking out like a sore thumb in a crowd, or else your body language will do that for you.

So, what things are you good at?

Concentrate on them and life usually finds a place for you.  Maybe you will have the last laugh when you collect your Nobel prize in a few years, or win an Olympic gold in something in 4 years.  You could be the next James Dyson, or the best guitarist the world has seen, and be stinking rich in 5 years.

Go and walk up the down escalator at the local shopping arcade and see if you can walk away with a wry smile on your face not caring what people think :-)

Answer 3

Ya no, I try to boost my confidence by being nice to other people and commenting on things they did well. In turn, you might get comments back. Just do stuff like that.

Answer 4

surround yourself with friends and distract yourself. it's hard, but just say hi to the people you don't know, but like and try to talking random people.

Answer 5

you have to be yourself at all times in order to have confidence....if you go your whole life pretending to be something your not then you will go crazy....Just take a deep breathe and think of things you have accomplished in your life that you are proud of...that will make you feel better about yourself.

Stay true to yourself and don't be intimidated by anyone....If you don't believe in yourself, who's gonna believe in you???

Answer 6

I am also a shy person, and can be un-confident. I think it came from people expecting me to be "the quiet self-concious one". I was labelled, and I was stuck with it. I recently got a job in retail where I have to constantly interact with people, and people say I'm "friendly" and come visit me on their breaks all the time. So I think if you join a club or do something that you interact with new and more people your confidence will build.

Answer 7

Hi,

I sort of understand how you feel - I've felt like this before and it is tough.

We're all different, so I don't know exactly what will work for you, but since you don't feel your parents are helpful, do you have close friends you could talk to about it? Getting things off your chest can be a good first step in feeling better about yourself, you never know - you may just be imagining some things.

However, I'm not saying your issues aren't real when I say that. I don't know exactly where your lack of confidence comes from, be it looks, personality, whatever, but it can help to think to yourself about things you do like about yourself - you might not think about these when you aren't feeling too confident, so it can help to try and give yourself a boost.

If you feel there's things you'd like to work on about yourself, then go about making the changes in a sensible, feasible way - no-one can change overnight but there may be things you find you can improve on and these could help build your self-esteem. However, it's important to still be yourself- don't become someone else just to please others. It doesn't work. I just mean small things, like for example, I felt a bit of a confidence boost when I got a new haircut - small things like that, but can make all the difference to you.

Finally, I know it's difficult, but when you're out and about amongst people, just try to act confident - I know it's easy to say that - and that it's very difficult to actually do it, but if people even just think you're confident (even if you're not), you'll have a much better chance of developing some confidence. You don't need to do anything that makes you really uncomfortable, but think about what you do like about yourself and just try to let it show.

This isn't easy and there's no set answers to such issues, but hopefully you'll find something helpful from what I've said. Good luck!