How come Muslim women aren't allowed to marry Christian or Jewish men?

Question

I don't get why it's not allowed when Muslim men are allowed to marry Christian or Jewish women. It seems pretty sexist to me. As a Muslim girl, growing up in America, I might not necessarily want to marry a Muslim man. I wanna fall in love with who I marry, and am not gonna chose a man based on religion.

I hope I do not offend anyone. And if you want to answer in an offensive manner, than don't bother answering at all.

Answer 1

Why would a muslim woman want a pork eating christian anyway.lol..So silly to even ask such a common sense question like that.

Answer 2

Yeah, I don't really understand it either. Personally, I would think that muslims would be more worried about muslim men marrying a jewish woman... After all, a kid is only a Jew if the mother is, otherwise, they'd be a muslim.

People can believe in their religion, yet have tolerance or even be in love with people with different beliefs. If a democrat and a republican can make it work, then why can't a mixed-religion couple work?

I say, do what you believe is right. Just be careful. Apostasy can get you in a lot of trouble with certain people.

Answer 3

In my opinion if you reject the commands of ALLAH(Subhanna wa ta'ala) and the words of Muhammad(Salla Allahu alhahi Wa Salaam) then your not Muslim.  We can't pick and choose what we want to follow.  Islam is perfect.  It doesn't need to be changed at all.  I'm also an American Muslimah revert, and I love Islam the way it is, including how Saudi Arabia practices Shariah Law with killing rapists, drug smugglers, kidnappers, homosexuals, witches, child molesters, serial killers.  It helps protect and control society.  Anyway a Muslim woman can't marry a Muslim because:

1)He could beat her.

2)He won't let her practice her religion.

3)your children will be Kaafurs.

4)You'll answer to God for your children not being Muslim.

5)you'll be disobeying God and Muhammad(Salla Allahu alhai Wa Salaam)

6)Your daughters could become prostitutes when they get older.

7)You'd get sins for not raising your kids as Muslims.

8)Your husband would ridicule your faith.

9)You would end up taking his nationality

10) you would probably leave your religion for his.

11)You wouldn't be allowed to heat hala

12)He'd have mistresses, concubines, girlfriends on the side

13)He may not allow you to see your family.

14)He would make you take his last name which is haraam.

15)He'd take all your money

16)He would neglect you.

17)He'd make you work.

Answer 4

I agree that it is unfair, but I think the interpretation of those verses are solely cultural--and that is my opinion, give me thumbs down if you want.

The idea is that the man/father/husband is the head of the house and it's his duty to ensure everyone is happy and healthy in all aspects of life, including spiritually.  If the man is the dominant one in the house and marriage, then the preconceived notion is that he believes he posseses the 'truth' and may push this truth on his wife, whatever faith she is, and may prohibit her from practicing her faith and raising her children in her faith.

Others say that a Muslim woman should also not marry a non-Muslim man because he would not respect all the prophets and beliefs of the woman--but would any woman marry any man who didn't respect her beliefs anyway?

You can see the problems that theoretically could occur for a Muslim woman.

However, many people interpret giving their daughters to 'non-believers' to mean non-Muslims, but within the Qu'ran Christians and Jews are still considered alright for men to marry (because of the idea that men are dominant in both physicality and mentality).

Others interpret 'non-believers' to mean just anyone who is not Christian/Jew/Muslim, and see no problem in a woman marrying someone from this group.

The idea that a man is dominant is largely cultural. In my home, the women run everything and are the dominant ones, my father really is not in charge of anything--and there is nothing wrong with that.

If it were me, I would marry for love. Whether or not he is in your religion or not, if he loves you he would respect you and learn to compromise.  You can 'guide' your children towards Islam but you should still give them the freedom and choice to choose to follow a religion or not, be it any religion.

Answer 5

In order to be clear, we need to understand how the rights to practice your religion are affected by marriage. If both parties were equal partners with neither being able to impose his or her will upon the other, then Muslim women marrying Christian or Jewish men would be no different to the Muslim men marrying Christian or Jewish women. However there is a difference. Christian and Jewish men are clearly set in charge of their wives and have a right to be obeyed by them.

Christian marriage vows include obeying the husband. The bible explicitly curses Eve by saying she will be made to obey men (This story is however completely missing in the Qur'an). It has even been until recently (early last century) the law in England, that upon marriage all of the woman's property becomes the property of her husband. So any control she had over her life is surrendered to her husband.

Islam recognises the position of difficulty this could land Muslim women in and so does not allow them to be subjected to the orders of Christian or Jewish husbands.  

Answer 6

Hey there, i just dont get you Muslims. The muslim men are able to marry out of their religion but muslim girls are not. This is all rubbish.

I believe that there is one God, but people like you have created different Gods. If you show enough respect to another religion thats where you know how much you respect your religion ( a very true saying if you cant respect others parents you never can respect your parents)

Answer 7

Marriage in Islam is a highly regarded practice in the prophetic example, as well as being a social necessity. The Prophet (pbuh) said:

‘O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty.’

Actually the Prophet (pbuh) regarded modesty as a great virtue. He said:

‘Modesty is part of faith.’

He also said:

‘Marriage is my sunna (way and example). Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me.’

Also, socially, marriage is necessary in Islam. This is because through marriage, families, which are the fundamental unit of the society, are established. Through marriage, Islam aims to build a pure, safe, clean, healthy, and socially stable society. Therefore, mutual respect, common ground and shared principles, are highly needed from both parties. This is in order to fulfill both the religious purpose and the social necessity. In addition to all of this, marriage in Islam is established on the basis of mutual consent and free choice.

Since marriage is highly regarded by religion, Islam considers believing in the existence of God, the institution of prophet-hood and the divine books as essential elements in its foundation. Thus Allah in the Noble Qur’an made clear that marrying disbelievers is prohibited, for both genders:

Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But God beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.

Surah 2 Verse 221

However, in contrast with other faiths, Islam did not restrict marriage to be only within the Islamic faith. Islam did not require conversion into the faith as a condition for the interfaith marriage, like Christianity. Nor did it totally reject the idea of interfaith marriages, as in Judaism. Here, I am referring to the scriptural law of Christianity and Judaism, not to the civil laws of Western countries.

Simultaneously, Islam is a religion that is suitable for the innate nature and character of the human being. In order to maintain security, order and purity in the society, Islam seeks to maintain qualities within the foundation of the family. In this sense only, Islam considers the husband to be the head of the family and responsible for the well being of family members.

It is a matter of fact that a Muslim man is obliged to recognize and respect the faith of the Christian and the Jewish woman and cannot compel her to become Muslim. On the other hand, the same cannot be said of the non-Muslim man. The faith of any non-Muslim man does not even recognize Islam or Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as being legitimate. He would not necessarily respect Islam’s tenets and practices that a Muslim woman obviously believes in and is obliged to uphold.

Thus the rights of Christian and Jewish women in a Muslim household are protected in the Islamic law. They are able to practice their religion freely without any restriction and they can live with the knowledge that their Prophets and Books will be honored. A Muslim man is even commanded to believe that it is an article of faith to treat his Jewish or Christian wife in this way.

Additionally, the habits of the non-Muslim husband and his morals will likely be in conflict with and compromise those of the Muslim woman. Contrary to this, the morals and the value system of the Muslim husband, if not identical to the principle values of Christianity and Judaism, will not contradict or threaten them.

Hence, under the light of all previous facts, allowing Muslim men to marry non-Muslims and the prohibition for Muslim women to do so is not a discriminatory rule. It is not a threat to the equality of men and women, or an indication of the dominance of man. It is directly related to respecting others faiths and the freedom of religions.

Wa salaam

Mr. Lamaan Ball, editor of Ask About Islam, adds:

In order to be clear, we need to understand how the rights to practice your religion are affected by marriage. If both parties were equal partners with neither being able to impose his or her will upon the other, then Muslim women marrying Christian or Jewish men would be no different to the Muslim men marrying Christian or Jewish women. However there is a difference. Christian and Jewish men are clearly set in charge of their wives and have a right to be obeyed by them.

Christian marriage vows include obeying the husband. The bible explicitly curses Eve by saying she will be made to obey men (This story is however completely missing in the Qur'an). It has even been until recently (early last century) the law in England, that upon marriage all of the woman's property becomes the property of her husband. So any control she had over her life is surrendered to her husband.

Islam recognises the position of difficulty this could land Muslim women in and so does not allow them to be subjected to the orders of Christian or Jewish husbands.

Answer 8

I'd never want to.  Yuck.

We have a perfect religion, full of detail and intricate philosophies on life.  Why would any muslim woman want to go backwards?

Answer 9

Sister your muslim right? Don't you even know anything about islam? Them most important thing when marrying is #1 RELIGION then comes the wealth, beauty,etc... Im ashamed of muslims like you who don't know anything about their religion i mean come on your kidding right? " It seems pretty sexist to me. As a Muslim girl, growing up in America, I might not necessarily want to marry a Muslim man. I wanna fall in love with who I marry, and am not gonna chose a man based on religion."- all im saying is your better take that back Allah(SWT)  will punish you for that. Go learn about Islam and marriage. But if you still wanna marry a non-muslim( so ridiculous) then be just like them and become a jew or Christian no ones stopping you.

Peace And love.......................................

Answer 10

If a Christian woman marries a Muslim, then it will be harder for her to uphold her religious values. He's a man, he has some force. Men have always been more dominant in society. It's the same for the Muslim woman: if she married a Christian, not only will her religion weaken, but the faith of their offspring may be too.

Think about it this way:

If there's a Muslim woman, and she marries a Christian man, and they have children, he, if he is religious, will influence his children, towards Christianity. Muslims wouldn't want that. The man obviously has more influence on the way a family is run. If the scenario was reversed: a Muslim man marrying a Christian woman, the man would influence his children, towards Islam.

And since Allah wants the Muslim ummah to increase, he wouldn't want that. So that is why this rule is there.

Also, speaking Islamically, the religion of the father is the religion of the child.

Nowadays however, even men cannot marry Christian women (Muslim men, I mean) because Christians believe Jesus is God, and have less monotheist beliefs. So, in this day and age, a Muslim man may only marry a Jewish woman as their beliefs are strictly monothesit.

Lastly, a Muslim man would know how to treat his wife kindly. A muslim woman has rights in Islam. Those rights would not be upheld in a marriage where the husband was Christian.  

Answer 11

Marriage vows go in favor of the man in both Christianity and Islam. If a muslim woman marries a jew or christian, then the side of the man will be among those who disbelieve because both jews & christians deny all the prophets of God including Muhammd (SAW).

The kids will also be considered jews or a christians; this is because the man has more of a higher status in all religions both emotionally and physically.

Just think about why there is the "man of the house" and not "woman of the house."

But even for men, Qur'an says:

"Do not marry non-believing women until they believe."

Answer 12

Now, there are these verses. It depends on whom the word "Unbeliever" means:

002.221 Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.

Al-Qur'an, 002.221 (Al-Baqara [The Cow])

024.003 Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.

Al-Qur'an, 024.003 (An-Noor [The Light])