How come being "girly" is seen as a bad thing for men?

Question

IE-my brother told me that his football coach used to call them little girls when they weren't doing well in practice? I also hear my brother calling his friends names like sissies, pansies, g*y, or girly man, etc. Why do men call each other this but then they go after so-called "girly" women?

Answer 1

Toughness and fearlessness are part of being a man. When a guy isn't being tough or fearless they deserve to be heckled.

We go after feminine women because their hole is our goal and no man is attracted to a woman that acts manly.

Answer 2

Because men aren't girls. To be something you're not = bad.

Answer 3

I rarely look to music in popular culture as a means to reflect how I see the world, but these lyrics written by Madonna and Guy Sigsworth convey it pretty well...

(spoken:)

Girls can wear jeans

And cut their hair short

Wear shirts and boots

cause its ok to be a boy

But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading

cause you think that being a girl is degrading

But secretly youd love to know what its like

Wouldnt you

What it feels like for a girl

Perhaps if as a society, we were to de-polarise masculinity and femininity, men wouldn't be labelled as "sissies" because in that perfect world, there would be no value judgement placed on NOT acting "entirely" like a woman or a man.

It cuts both ways. I much prefer it when people challenge these stereotypes.

Answer 4

Because girliness is an unappealing quality in men.  Men find girliness in women attractive, they don't find it attractive in each other.

Answer 5

That's just the way guys talk amongst each other. Don't let it bother you, and don't bother trying to change it.

Answer 6

They have contempt for the role they want to force women into. The reason they want to force women into this role is because they want to feel men are superior to women. Immature ego reasons.

Answer 7

Women are stereotyped as being weak, and men place great emphasis on physical strength. Thus being called those names implies that you are like a girl, weak.

Vice versa, some women call other women manly, (or butch or mannish) implying equally, if different, negative things.

Being compared to the opposite s*x is rarely flattering.

Answer 8

Because they think of women as weak. And men never want to be compared to a weakling.

I hate it, though. Those stupid analogies put women down without even trying. Like "you act like a girl". Gee - good one!

Answer 9

Because our society has conditioned our men and boys to be and think this way.  I don't think it's right to call men "girls", "pansies", and the like.  Our society has come to label certain behaviors with a gender.  For instance, if a guy is being emotional, they'll say he's g*y.  Or if a woman is being straightforward, they'll say that that's odd for a woman.  I had a guy say this to me when I was interviewing him:  I explained my management style to him, and he said "wow, that's odd for a woman".  I don't fault him for saying this, but at the same time, this is an example of how society has molded us to think.

The only way to change this is to not do it!  We have to raise our children to not be this way.  Try to ingrain into their heads that we are all just people, and not simply walking gender molds!  The world can change one by one.

Answer 10

Anything can be used in a derogatory way, and this is a good example of how that works.

Another one is the word 'g*y'. A lot of people have used it for about 30 years now as an acceptable alternative to words like 'p00fta' and 'f@gg0t' and other nasty names for h0m0sexual people.

Now, young people are using the word 'gay7' to mean 'stupid' or 'something I don't like', and g*y people are finding this unpleasant.

Sure, on the one hand it's "just a word" (which is what people who want to say ahtever THEY like even if it hurts the feelings of others).

But, on another level there is a message happening ~ 'g*y' means stupid therefore, g*y people are stupid. How hard is it to understand that little kids who don't know any better are trained by using this word to think this way?

The same is true of calling boys names like 'girly' as an insult. It humiliates them because they are trained by such language to know that girls are weak and worthless, and if the don't want to be weak and worthless, they better not act like 'girls'.

If this is not true, why isn't being called a 'girl' or 'g*y' a compliment? It's not a compliment because it is always meant in a derogatory and poejorative way by those who use it, and that is how it is heard by those to whom it is directed.

On the other hand, being attributed 'manly qualities', such as telling a woman she 'is b@llsy' when she is brave, are seen in a positive light.

Very often people try to argue that language is nothing, that it cannot hurt you and that words are 'just' words.

But words can be the greatets weapons of all, because it is by using them that we create and express the reality in which we live.

Cheers :-)

Answer 11

It's the same reason why women get offended by being called manly.

I don't understand why some people on the forums I post call me manly for typing properly and listening to metal music?

They say that feminine women are supposed to TyPe LiKe DiS LoLzzzzzzzzzzzz"?

I personally don't like being accused of typing like a man.

Answer 12

Society tells men to go get it. Be assertive. Men dont cry and all of that BS. Every man has softness to him. Every woman has some hardness to her. It is like yen and yang. Women have testosterone also. Men also have estrogen.