How come employees at an office don't want to become friends or talk to the newcomers?

Question

I just started at a new job a few days ago & so far no one has come up & talked to me. I always thought employees should make the newbies feel welcome not the other way around.

Answer 1

Bring cookies into the conference room.  Exert yourself a little to the crowd, not specific overtures to one person or another.  If you continue to be open, friendly and kind, the good people will find their way to you.

Try to learn as many first names as you can.  People really respond positively to being called by their own name.

Good luck.

Answer 2

they really should try to make you feel comfortable. is it a situation where you may get promoted before someone else? maybe they have their guard up because of that. either way, it's very rude of them. just try to make small talk with someone and if they're still being rude, just ignore them. good luck!

Answer 3

prob busy / shy - make the effort

Answer 4

Maybe the office has a high turnover rate.  If they think you're not going to be there long, they may not try to befriend you for 6 months or so.

Answer 5

Over the years I have noticed that this is usually the way it goes - both with new employees and new tenants in apartment complexes.  At work I always went out of my way to make the "new person" feel welcome, and invited them to go on break/lunch with me until they made friends.  Having moved so many times as a child, and being the "new kid" in school so many times, I know how awful it is to feel like an outsider, so I always try to find ways to make the new person feel accepted.

(there are cliques in school, in business, and in living environments, unfortunately.)

Answer 6

I think it is human nature....stay alittle distant until people get a feel for a new person.  In the meantime, just be friendly and give it some time.  Before long, you will probably be one of the gang

Answer 7

They are probably all just shy.

Answer 8

They may be shy, you don't know, but you need to meet them halfway. Doesn't take much, just smile and say hi and introduce yourself. If you keep to yourself and don't make any effort to get to know them, then they may view you as a snob.

Answer 9

maybe they just arent very friendly people. or maybe you should walk up to them? Its kind of like going to a new school.

Answer 10

While I try to be nice to my coworkers, I dont want to be friends with any of them.  Not to say they arent great people, because they are.  But the more of your personal life that is mixed with your professional life, the worse off you are, experience tells me.

Work is not the place to socialize, its the place to work.

Mind your own business, keep to yourself, and keep all communication between your coworkers work related.  It may be boring, but in the end its better for you.

Answer 11

That always happens.  I wonder if it human nature to "protect" ourselves.  The other workers don't know if you are going to stay or going to quit so they stay away while they see.  It's not fair but it is everywhere.  .

Answer 12

Starting a new job can be like being the new student in high school.  Everyone already has their clique and shuns the new girl.  Just remember the way you feel now and when they hire the next person, welcome that person and treat them the way you wish you had be treated.

Answer 13

It is all dependent on the type of company culture. If this is an employer with low employee turnover, then the existent employees may see you as an outsider intruding on their familial unit.

Alternatively, they just might be unhappy with their current situations and not friendly anyway.

My recommendation is for you to initiate dialog. They may just be shy and waiting for you to make the first move.

I was in a similar situation and sometimes you just have to put yourself out there in order to have a cordial relationship with your co-workers.

Answer 14

Sometimes people don't take the first step to talk to the newbies; if you have an awesome resume they may feel intimidated.  Don't take it personally, you may have to make the first effort.  Best of luck at your new job!!

Answer 15

It can be awkward.  Simply put.  They don't know what you want to talk about or anything so they may wait a while to feel you out before approaching.  To jump start things though, you can always talk to them.

Answer 16

thats is true...but then again its not something that has to happen...alot of ppl see work as work....and u never know if that new person could be a signal for more new replacements...i think it jus depends on how u are personally...im a friendly person so makin new friend is something i enjoy...for other ppl might be more of a choir....

Answer 17

In my experience, the "new guy" at the office is in a probational status not only in the workplace, but with the other employees as well.  Most people feel they don't want to commit the time and effort to get to know someone, only to have them quit, or get sacked, a few weeks later.

Some of the jobs I started at, nobody talked to me until after a "warm-up period".   I would say that after a bit, and people become used to your face, they will become warmer towards you and you might even make some life-long friends.

Keep your chin up, and keep smiling, they will come around eventually.

Good luck!