How come my son wont play with anything for more than ten minutes?

Question

my son just turned two and i have an annoying little problem. he will not sit and play for more than ten minutes at a time. i have asked this question before and someone suggested that maybe he has a learning disability so let me makeep it clear that he doesnt. he is very smart for his age and kniws all his letters and numbers up to 20 (10 in spanish) knows all colors and shapes (including hard ones like octagon and pentagon etc) and we have been able to have conversayions since he was 18 months in english and just barely starting to converse in spanish. so why is it that he wont play for more than ten minutes? like he will play with blocks or his kitchen or anything else but only for a very short period of time. h**l just throw the toys and he is much more interested in just roaming around the house causing trouble lol. it almost seems like add but is it possible for a child to be so smart and still have add? it doesnt make sense to me but maybe i am wrong. thanks.

Answer 1

Well, first off, if he has ADD it has nothing to do with his intelligence!  It just means that his brain works overtime and he can have periods where he just wants LOTS of stimulation.  Actually, kids with ADD are usually VERY intelligent, and when given the opportunity to succeed, they will.

However, it doesn't sound like ADD at all... it sounds like a normal 2 year old! LOL

The "experts" say that for each year of life, they should be able to focus on something for about 10 minutes.  So at 2, he should be able to focus for about 20 minutes... but remember this is an average.

My daughter was very much like your son at that age... could play by herself for a little while, but would prefer to roam about and see what she could get into!  Often, it meant that she undid whatever it was that I had just done... she wanted to be like Mommy and help me out.  Unfortunately, when a 2 year old helps, a job that would usually take 10 minutes now takes 30! LOL

I just started giving her little odd jobs.  If I was doing dishes, I would hand her a little broom and ask her to sweep.  I knew I would have to sweep later, but it made her feel involved and helpful for those 10 minutes she could focus on it.  When she got bored with that, I'd give her a damp rag and tell her to wash the table... again, I knew I'd have to do it later myself, but it kept her occupied.

Kids at this age are seeking to feel involved and they want to be helpful.  They emmulate things you do (and say!), and are starting to learn habits and behaviors.  My daughter is 4 now... and because I gave her "chores" when she was little, now I wake up and she's actually cleaned the table or swept the floor... and I DON'T have to do it later! :)

Another thing is that when my daughter was 2, if I had something REALLY pressing (I was in college at the time- so sometimes I had to finish a paper or something), I would tell her that she had to give Mommy some Mommy time.  I would tell her that she had to play by herself for 20-30 minutes, or she could watch a movie (gives you about an hour).  I also let her know that if she was good and quiet for that time, we would have a treat together... like go play hopscotch or get some ice cream.  At 2 years old though, make sure it is an "instant gratification" type treat, as they can connect the action and consequence more easily (I do X, Y happens).  Set a timer if you need to.  

Also, when I first started doing this, I found it was best to leave the room or else she would be tempted to come and bug me.  But don't lock yourself up... it will be easier on your son if he knows you are accessible and won't get in trouble if he DOES need you for something (like he needs help with the potty).

Also, try to do it at the same time each day so it becomes part of his routine.  As he gets used to entertaining himself for short periods, you could try to work in 2 of these "Mommy Minutes", like once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

Just be consistant... if he comes to bother you every 5 minutes, just take him back to the other room and tell him to keep playing (this is where the timer comes in handy... keep playing til the timer goes off).  You may have a couple weeks of crying, but he will adjust.

If you seriously need more than an hour and a half in a day, I would see if a friend wanted to take him to the park for a couple hours, or see if you could get your 13 year old neighbor to come hang out and keep him entertained for a bit.

And one last thing- parents anymore are almost conditioned that they HAVE to entertain their kids.  The best advice that I have ever gotten is "So what? Let them get bored!"  I admit that it's hard to do sometimes, and the first couple times you do it, it will drive you bonkers... but then your kid has a moment where they go "Fine. I'll go play..."  And holy cow- the creativity that spews forth is amazing!  I'm not advocating NOT playing with your kids or neglecting them in any way... but there is something to be said for letting your kids figure it out!

Anyways, I hope this helped a little, and I wish you luck! :)

Answer 2

Bah, whoever says that could be a learning disability/ADD is a moron. Your son is perfectly ormal. It's entirely a temperament/personality thing. Some children have really long attention spans and can focus on a toy for a while. (Lucky parents!) Others get bored and move on. (Unlucky parents!) He's only two -- that's wayyyy too early to be even thinking about ADD/ADHD.

My daughter is exactly like your son. It is annoying and frustrating and makes me pull out my hair, but it's completely normal behavior. Your son is just an explorer.

Answer 3

Childran have short attention spands at age 1-to age 4. Expessially boys.Exploration is thier game and learning is thier fame. I know its a hard time for parenting when your trying to get things done. Try to see if he would like to "help" you. Kids like to mimic and its also a great learning experience. Boys like to be very active. My son was practicly born wanting to propell off walls. Its quit normal.

Answer 4

lol you're little one is normal!!  He probably won't start playing with anything longer than 10 minutes until he's 4-5 years old.  My almost 3 yr old still does the same thing, although he may play 11 minutes lol.  Are you working from home?  I ask because I just wanted to know what you were trying to get done.

When I work on the computer, I have a jumper/swing that hangs from the door frame and he jumps in that while I'm at the computer.

When I'm trying to get things done around the house (laundry, dishes, cleaning, dusting etc) I let him "help."  He's actually pretty good about helping:

Laundry: putting in wet clothes in the dryer

Dishes: washing by hand or even loading and unloading dishes

Cleaning: he picks up toys, throws away trash, takes out the small trash bags from bathroom and bedroom (he loves taking out the trash lol)

Dusting:he helps dust with another duster and likes to wipe when I Windex glass

He's done all these things with me since he was 2 years old and keeps getting better and better.

Answer 5

My daughter has always been the same way.  She doesn't even like toys.  She goes from one thing to the next, just messing everything up.  Don't worry.  It's normal.  Especially for a 2 year old.  The fact that he knows his numbers and letter shows that you are giving him lots of attention.  Remember that each person has a different personality with different strengths and weaknesses... and as the mom, it's up to you to recognize the strengths and build on them.  To work on the attention span, find books that are very interesting to him..... maybe pop-up books.... and spend time with him reading those.  It helps them be able to sit down for a long time doing one thing.  Sometimes all it takes is for a play partner.  I know my daughter would never play well on her own, but if I played with her (like with play-do or something) she could play forever.  But 2 is still VERY young... just do what you're doing and find the right activities for your son.  He'll be fine.

Answer 6

its a phase

my mom was so made when she bought my brother a bunch of toys for christmas and he played with the paper!! then the toys for like 3 minutes. just put away some of the toys and rotate them out. they will seem more apealling