How come people who arent parents, never raised a child, are always trying to give someone else advice?

Question

If you never raised a child before & you're not an adoptee, Maybe you should ZIP IT.

Now that that is said, does anyone want to share adoption stories.... (life experience people only.... I dont care to hear from to people who got their experience through a book)

Answer 1

Ok, I am the type of person you are complaining about.  I am not a parent yet (am expecting my first child the begining of August) and I am not an adoptee.  I have made that very clear when I answer any questions.

To let you know why I do answer some questions in this section, I am a bio child with adopted siblings (from the foster care system) ranging from 16-19 years younger than I am.  I try and answer some of the questions that potential adoptive parents have about how their bio children might react.  

I also answer some questions in regards to how families deal with the Foster Care system in the US.  

I work to only answer the questions that I have a personal connection to.  I could never say what it is like to be an adoptive parent or an adoptee or anything that I am not.  

I know that there are a lot of people that answer questions that they know nothing about, but not all of the questions in the adoptive section are limited to the experiences of people who have raised a child or who are adopted.

Answer 2

I'm not a parent, but I'd be willing to bet that most parents haven't had half the experience I have with special needs kids.  That's a whole different area that parenting can't possibly prepare a person for (unless you're parenting a special needs child).  There are wonderful parents of "normal" kids who adopt a special needs child thinking they know it all - and end up disrupting the adoption because they can't hack it.  And besides that, there are as many parenting styles as there are children - parenting doesn't prepare you for anything but parenting YOUR child.  Some of the worst employees we had at the RTC I worked at were self-righteous parents who thought they knew everything because they had x number of kids.  Sure was tough for them to realize they didn't know squat about kids who have been hurt their whole lives, and that their 21 year old supervisor was far better at deescalating a client than they were, even with all their parenting experience.

Answer 3

How can someone that thinks adopted children should be beat with a belt even give a c**p about adoption stories?

Answer 4

To annoy people like you and me. lol

But I don't take unsolicited advice. They notice I don't after awhile and stop.

Also they think that because they saw someone else do it that they know. They don't.

There is very little they have to offer unless they work with kids.

Answer 5

How come people with no knowledge of adoption are always trying to give someone else adoption related advice?

Answer 6

It's a well known fact I gave my BEST parenting advice BEFORE I became one. LOL

Now that I am actually a parent I know better. I am still learning today and I readily admit I do not have all the answers.

Answer 7

I think people that have to ask this question should not be a parent. The "only a parent could understand mentality" was left behind in the 50's.

I think someone that has worked around many children and their families and see's the bad side of adoption would know quite alot more than someone "paying off" an agency to find them the type of baby their looking for.

Answer 8

It's their advice. Just because they haven't parented, doesn't mean they don't have anything valuable to contribute.

No-ones forcing you to take anyone's advice. If you don't like it, ignore it !!

Answer 9

unfortunatley there a whole lot of people who ARE parents that don't give good advice and are not the best parents in the world. Just because one doesn't have kids doesn't mean they don't have an opinion or had experiences with children.  When asking a question on here you have to expect all the looney toons in the world could answer.

Answer 10

Non-parents think they know it all they don't know squat b/c they have no experience at it, I agree no oponion needed or asked.

Answer 11

how about u just shut up stop asking all these ?s grow up and don't come on here if u only want certain people to answer u  duh dumb A**

Answer 12

A person doesn't have to be a parent to have experience with children.  You also don't have to be a parent to have a vast knowledge about adoption.  Which you clearly are lacking or else you would admire her wisdom.  Many of us here don't take kindly to calling people out either.

Answer 13

You don't have to be a parent in order to have knowledge on parenting, children and pregnancy. Anyone can read a book, talk to someone who is a parent, go to school to become a nurse/doula/midwife. And remember, Yahoo Answers is open to the public, anyone who makes an account can post. If your looking for something where only mothers and those who have experinced adoption can talk..I would suggest you make your own private "group".