How come so many therapists are AP's?!?

Question

I've been looking for a therapist, have called a dozen or so, and they're ALL AP's! What is the deal with that?

It's freaking me out. I just don't think they can be unbiased, they're coming into it with too much of their own baggage to be objective.

I feel like it's a conflict of interest, if I want to talk about my abandonment and trust issues, they want to tell me about how well adjusted their adopted kids are, and so MY issues can't possibly be adoption-related. Don't they realize that THEIR kids may be not telling them about their abandonment issues? Are they really so naive?

Answer 1

Ultimately, you need to find a therapist that you're comfortable with, which obviously is not a therapist that is also an adoptive parent.  If you cannot build a trusting, therapeutic relationship with a therapist who is also an AP, then keep looking until you find a therapist that isn't an AP.  Not judging you on this at all!  A therapeutic relationship is highly subjective.  You need to find the right therapist for you.

No therapist should be talking about their own family in a therapy session, btw.  Poor boundaries!  

Keep looking.  Good luck.

Answer 2

They shouldn't and hopefully won't saying about thier family it is not theraputic. They should be foucused on you and your issues.  So i would say give one a chance and or keep trying to find a new one

As to why so many are i find that amazing and can't imagine why there would be so many of them  that are AP

Answer 3

I agree a therapist should not bring their own family situation into a therapy session. As a therapist they should know that every situation is different, every person is different.  Have you seen a therapist who is an adoptive parent? If not then you really cant judge how they would respond to you. Or if one responds to you in what I would consider an unprofessional way does not mean another would respond in that same way.  

As far as why you have come across so  many who are AP's who knows but frankly AP’s are not different then other people they are in all kinds of careers and jobs.

Answer 4

For our daughter we specifically found a Psychiatrist who was An Adoptee not an adoptive parent. We also enrolled her into her first school program (required at placement) with a pre-school teacher who was an older adoptee....

I see therapists and have my own support system for me as an adoptive parent and I have also done everything I can to find professionals who are also adopted people. Our daughter also is part of a program that offers "social' therapy and the person she works with was part of an adopted sibling group so she too has some first hand ideas...

I agree with you that there are a lot of "therapists" who are adoptive parents...But, we have found this to be true in other areas too--such as special education teachers or social workers dealing with early intervention programs... There seems to be an "adoptive parent's " nature--and I think some of that is part of the kind of people who choose to adopt...there tends to be a number who also work in certain fields.

I wouldn't actually dream of giving my 10 year old therapy just from another adoptive parent--but, from an adult adoptee I believed was much better. In fact, even with the history our little girl has been through the most constant therapy has come from her doctor who was adopted when he was 8....  We have been regulars since 2004 with him--whereas many of the other treatment my little girl has used has been shorter termed...

I just assumed back when the need for threapy came up that it would be best for my daughter to have services offered by people who could relate to her life and her position in this part of her life....

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Answer 5

I suspect that a lot of therapists have learned of children who need to be adopted through their clients.    They may have had more opportunities than the average person to adopt children, simply because they've counseled pregnant teenagers, or perhaps counseled older children that they ended up adopting themselves.  

If they are good therapists, they will KNOW that their own children may/do have abandonment issues, and will probably be even MORE empathetic to your situation than a therapist who is not a member of the adoption triad.  You may want to try a couple of these therapists, to see if you "click" with them.

Answer 6

I dont think, as therapists, they should even be mentioning their own families. Every situation is different, so I dont think thats fair at all. If you have experienced this, then I would make a complaint and find anouther therapist.