How come some parents don't realize that their decisions greatly affect their kids?

Question

because of some of the decisions my mom has made (we arent talking before i was born but well well after i was born) i have to pay the price...

i know they are only human, but my mom let this creep into our house a year back, and mom was too infatuated to realize what he was doing to me and my mom's friends and our home and property...by the time she realized it the damage was done, and i had to pay a price (even more than she did in the end).

how come some parents dont realize that certain decisions made affect not just them?

id really like to know from someone who is a parent and can tell me why they do that.

Answer 1

I have a feeling that your paranoia and being a hypochondriac is all a result of the childhood you have unfortunately had to lead.  Please go talk to a counselor.  If your mom can't afford one then go to your school counselor.  Talk to a teacher.  You really need some professional counseling to help you heal and realize that you have a long, happy life ahead of you that you and your decisions will be in charge of.  You can't help what you think and how you feel right now.  Talking to a professional will help you deal with issues you are aware of and the hidden issues that have you paralyzed with fear that you will die at a young age.  When you talk to your school counselor make sure and tell her if your mom can or cannot afford counseling.  If she can't the school will have resources available to see that you get this much needed help and relief.  Take care of yourself and remember nothing that has happened to you is your fault and you will be ok.  Good luck.

Answer 2

Parents don't come with a handbook on how to raise our children.  We are human, and we make mistakes.  I don't think parents intentionally do things to harm or hurt their children...and sometimes we're just plain stupid and think we are right, but in the end, we are wrong.  We try to do what we feel is best for our children, but as I said...there is no manual guiding parents on raising their children.  I guess what we hope for is that we don't s***w up our children too badly, but I know in some cases, children pay the price for mistakes of their parents.  It's very sad, and there is no excuse, but it does happen.

Answer 3

I think you need to talk to a therapist.  

Answer 4

All parents make mistakes. We all do what we think is right. Most parents

do not make decisions knowing it will hurt there child.

With any situation they do there best w/ the info they have at the time.

Have you talked w/ her about how you feel? When you do tell her how you feel. Try not to go into a "you did this" type of conversation. I know that your mom probably knows somewhat of your pain and feels very guilty.

I think maybe you both should find someone to help you . A therapist can help you, and also help with the relationship between you and your mom.  

Answer 5

Parents are human. Did you know that over the many years she took care of you (because you were a child and couldn't do it yourself) that she probably took many falls for you in so many different ways. I am sorry to hear that something bad happened however and that would be lack of proper judgement if anything. When you say infatuated...I wonder if you mean lust or what you teens call a crush? And if you know anything about love; you might know that it can be so blinding.

I hope you and your mother work things out because life is too short to waste on revenge, hate. Dwelling can kill your spirit and if its something that can be solved I would forgive. Shes only human.

Oh and the dieing thing...IDK! Thats just a little strange if you ask me. Its not healthy to think like that.

Answer 6

Unfortunately parents are not just parents-they are also humans. They fall for people, make mistakes and mess stuff up like non-parents do. Yes, they should think more and put their kids first but sometimes it just doesn't work that way.

Answer 7

Some people aren't fit to be parents but have kids anyway.  I'm not saying that in your situation this happens, but some parents have kids to keep a man around, carelessness, etc.

I would never put my son behind anyone.  He comes first and always will.

Why does your nick say 1989 to 2008/12?!

Answer 8

Because parents are fallible human beings, too - just like everyone else.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The best thing you can do, when you make a mistake (and parents should do this, too), is to try to fix whatever wrong your mistake created -and- try to learn from it.  

Answer 9

I honestly do not know. My father chose to drink my childhood away form me, and my mother chose to spend all her money on cigarettes rather than put a college fund together for me.

People are selfish by nature I suppose.