How come some people are shy ?

Question

I'm very outgoing ...maybe too much sometimes ...

And I sometimes attract shy guys . I don't really like shy people too much ..

Is being shy innate ? Do shy people have lower self esteem ?

Answer 1

If shy was innate then most likly both parents would be shy people?

Though It may have been through growing up, with rejection and hurt, they may be kinda afraid of hurt.

Answer 2

Usually based on their Horoscope/Zodiac sign or how they were raised

Answer 3

Well, shy people have this invalid belief that everyones attention is on them 24/7.  

Answer 4

I'm more of a shy person, but contrary to your assumption, I'm "shy" because I simply hate talking nonsense, which is what most people do nowadays, talk nonsense. Don't believe me? When you go out clubbing or drinking with your friends...of course you talk nonsense! Guess that is just not my forte nowadays... been there done that it's begining to bore me....

BTW, I know alot of talkative people who are extremely insecure as well...hence they cover it up by talking so much. Depends on the individual mate. Good day :)

Answer 5

sometimes people just don't feel comfortable with themselves. And sometimes they just don't feel comfortable with other people either. And you just have to except it- it is just they way they are- just how you are outgoing- they are shy!! ;-) hope this helps!!

Answer 6

I used to be very shy when I was younger, but as I've got older (now 16) I've outgrown it a little.

I think part of the reason I was able to outgrow it was by being around very outgoing, outspoken people. Being shy, it's very easy to like outgoing people, strange as it may seem, but imagine puzzle pieces - the shy person retreats into  themselves but outgoing people reach out so far that they can reach the shy people when others cannot. Also, when you're shy and you meet an really outgoing person you can't help but feel a sort of admiration - most shy people wish they could be outgoing so like to be in those people's company, hoping they will learn. That's why you attract shy guys.

It's a pity you don't like them. Why not? have you ever tried to get to know them? Shy men are often every sweet and sensitive. If that's not your thing then of course don't have anything to do with them but please, bring them down as nicely as possible - anything remotely humiliating or unkind, of the sort you might just brush off, is crippling to shy folk and will be remembered a long, long time.

I think shyness could very well be something genetic, the way all personality traits could be. It also must have something to do with your childhood and upbringing because, face it, so is everything. And yes, when you are shy you do have lower self esteem. The thought of being embarrassed in public is horrifc, even just having lots of people looking at you or meeting a stranger gives you this horrible discomfort, awkwardness and paranoia. You prefer to hide away and shyness becomes habit.

Joining a group of boisterous friends helped me: also, when you need comfidence, make it acting. It's easier to pretend that you are a fictional character, a confident fictional character, than to be a confident self. After time, confidence comes more easily. Like almost everything, practice and time can help most people overcome shyness.

Answer 7

I don't know about others, but I'm shy and do suffer from low esteem. I do have an outgoing side but I'm often too shy to show it unless I'm around close friends or relatives.

Answer 8

People aren't born with there insecurities. Being Shy is a self esteem thing. Or sometimes people don't talk as much because they don't have much to say or contribute to the topic being discussed.

I understand what you mean about disliking shy people. They can be pain to try to strike up a conversation with. It takes patience. It's intriguing to get a shy person to speak. :P  

Answer 9

I am shy from being a victim of bullying throughout my entire life. From a young age I was always being picked on, and by multiple people to make it worse. I find it so difficult to talk to people due to the fear of rejection. I am so use to being ridiculed that I always think that everyone I meet will dislike me.  

Answer 10

that's a great question... I'm shy myself, and would love to understand why, or how I can help it... I don't know, it just comes naturally for me, don't know what triggers it, could be a low self esteem, but not sure...  

Answer 11

I was a very very shy as a girl but now 30 still bit shy but not as before. Hey, can u imagine I am married  and still I am introvert and shy. Yes, shy people have lower self esteem and they need lots of guts to open up with someone new.

But, one thing is to be sure, they are not bad people just their character, schooling and parenting had played a vital part in their shyness from my own experience. Just need to encourage them from your side or u start and they will follow u.  

Answer 12

Being shy can be innate as some have genetic predispositions to be more introverted than others.  Of course, this certainly doesn't mean that one has to be a wallflower for the rest of their life.  I don't think that shy people have lower self-esteem.   I've been shy for as long as I can remember and it takes a little bit more time for me to warm up to people than it would for someone who is more outgoing.  I find myself taking time to study people and find out what they're really about before I open myself up to them.  Also, just like there are very outgoing people in the world like yourself, there are people one the other side of the spectrum as well.  There are also some that fall somewhere along the continuum.  Everyone is different.