How could i get people to stop feeling sorry for me??

Question

here is my story

everyone is always babying me and giving me random hugs. I don't like hugs and i don't like people in my business. Everybody feels so sorry for me because both my parents are dead have been since i was 1 years old. My mom killed my dad then herself. She had mental problems. I got over it why can't everyone else jeez. I am so sick of hearing" I'm sorry you never had a family you can come over anytime and eat dinner" or my favorite " You look just like the angel your parents always dreamed of" how do i get these people to lay off? i never knew my parents. i understand it was terrible but it was 16 years ago. I hate to even take the freaking train anymore. what should i do? what should i say? i need help before i end up saying something i might regret. P.s- no sorry's for your lost please and thank you:)

Answer 1

They just try to be there for you & are afraid that if they don't say or do something you wont ask for it because you're "trying to be though". If you're close to certain of those ppl you should express how you feel, tell them that by smothering you their only making it worse & that you simply don't want to talk about it unless you decide to start the subject. Random hugs are ok I guess depending on who it comes from, some ppl are just more affectionate then others. Just tell them that starting up the subject is off limits & if you meet someone new don't be to quick about telling the about it if you don't want the sympathy.

Answer 2

How does everyone know this about you? I suggest you stop talking about it and get some counseling. Obviously you are not coping well.  

Answer 3

Yeah that's a hard one, because you can not really tell them much without coming across as rude. Which in turn, makes them feel like s*** but what you can say is I don't really want to talk about it. Or seriously let people know You don't want to talk about it No matter what though people you just meet that hear you story are automatically going to feel sympathy for you. Which isn't a bad thing it shows how caring people can be, but its probably tough on you because you are tired of hearing the same stuff over and over! Its hard to get people to stop that because they don't realize you don't want to hear that. So i guess what i suggest is that you do not really let people know your story, that way they will not need to feel any sympathy for you, you know? Like just keep the past to yourself, if you get really close to someone and want to let them know they also let them know that you don't want to hear the whole I am sorry, and stuff. Just let them know nicely.  

Answer 4

they just feel sorry for you and they are trying to cheer you up.

Answer 5

You could say, thanks for your concern, but I really don't want to hear about that anymore. Its time to move on.

Answer 6

just act happy all the time and dont look depressed or sad, people will get the idea you dont feel bad anymore

Answer 7

They just don't realize that you've never known anything different.  You're 17? Go to college far away...pretty soon you'll be seen as an adult and it won't happen so often.  

Answer 8

I think even the way you ask this question makes others feel sorry for you. It sort of sounds like you want us to feel sorry....

Just thought I would point that out.

I would suggest you tell people to please not tell others about your past. If you truly tell no one and those who know already tell no one, at least there will be no new persons being human by feeling empathy toward or for you!

Those that you mention must be friends or family of friends, so I'm sure they don't say "Sorry your parents died a horrible death" every time you see them! So try to feel some empathy toward them and forgive their past efforts of showing concern!

Answer 9

People are like that so you are either going to get used to it or you need to be proactive and tell them you have moved on with your life and thank them for their concern. There are some I'm sure your going to need to be rude with.  

Answer 10

So everyone on the train knows your family history?  This sounds just like a recent tv show I saw.  If you want people to stop feeling sorry for you, stop feeling sorry for yourself!  People are reaching out to you out of kindness.  If it bothers you so much, MOVE.

Answer 11

I dont think there is anything u can do.... I keep/kept getting same thing,cuz of an illness though.

Answer 12

well, they feel sorry for you. but if you don't want them to, tell the you're fine. you didn't even really know them. next time they say, oh i'm so sorry. be like, you don't have to be. i wish people didn't do this to me. you have to tell em' straight up.

answer mine, anyone?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 13

This sounds like local concern (even if it is annoying).

Just a few suggestions: 1) don't bring up your past or talk about something else that will hold your audience attention; 2) honor yourself in whatever way that celebrates your life; 3) get involved in activities that represent who you are today and move on mentally if you can't simply move out of town; 4) remind all repeat offenders of how well you turned out, how much life you have to look forward to, and that they should be happy for you.

Answer 14

Sorry to hear such a sad story, don't know what to say. Must be hard to loose parents in such circumstances.

                                  

Answer 15

Well one thing, you cant stop them from feeling sorry for them...even if they dont show it to you...if I were you...I wouldnt tell anybody about it anymore.

Answer 16

gosh well the best thing to do is just be upfront with all these people who try to pity you . just be clear and tell them thats the past and leave it behind .

Answer 17

i guess just dont really tell them and try to keep it on the down low? maybe tell them you dont want to talk about it so you would appreciate it if they treat you like everyone else and dont mention it?

Answer 18

first of all you should probly not tell any new peopl you meet tht ur parents are dead cuzz they will be ur freand becouse they feel bad tell only ur close freands