How could you EVER love foster kids or kids you adopted as much as your own?

Question

I can't ever see myself loving a child that i did not give birth to. Or a foster child. I have thought of adopting when im older (im 14). But i wouldn't do it, if i'm not sure that I could love the child. Please give me stories if you have them. Thanks

Answer 1

ud love them the same...adopt a baby if u think its that hard.......   or u can even get a baby before its born..

Answer 2

Because the kids I adopted ARE my own kids. They may not have been born to me, but they are all mine.

Who do you think takes care of them every day and night? Who do they go to when they are scared or sad or sick? I'm their mom, and they are my kids, my own kids. How could I love them any more if they *were* born to me?

I guess if you don't understand how this is, you just don't understand what adoption really is.

Answer 3

Honestly, i really don't see how you could NOT love a child.... to me, there is absoloutely no difference, but Please don't adopt if you're not 100% sure you can love them as if you had given them birth!!!!!

Answer 4

Its even more important to love the adopted child or foster kid b /c they may have already had a really tough start and dont feel like they belong anywhere or to anyone and feel very lonely and unwanted. Biological kids already have that "belong" status and dont usually have unwanted feelings. It takes special people with big hearts who can and do adopt or foster kids and if they are able to love them as they deserve, that really makes a difference in those kids lives.

Answer 5

My dear 14. It is hard for a young person your age to understand the ability to love a child who is not your own. And it may be hard for me to explain it to you. But here it goes.

I have had many opportunities to love children in my many years on this earth. I have three natural children of my own and have loved them from the day God blessed me with their presence. I have also acquired step-children and quasi-step-children through the relationships my children have made with friends. These friends may have or had difficulties in their lives and need a little guidance (or a lot depending on the situation). Others friends have shared in my affections for them over the years. These children have voiced that they feel like our house is an extension of their own homes and that through the relationships I have with their parents or grandparents they feel comfortable in saying that I am just like a mother to them. They say they love to come to our house for the home-cooking, computer lessons and other assundry things. Each of these children have shown a form of love in the respect they show to me and the friendships they share with my children. And each holds a special place in my heart.

Just  clarification here, it as been critical in all my associations with these children and others that I maintain  good communication with their parents or guardians and that there is no concern that when they are hanging out at my house or out tooling around with me and my children that I have the same concern for their welfare as I would have for my own children.

I also just recently went through a very heart-breaking loss. After seven and a half months of having a little boy to love and care for, I was unable to complete the adoption of this little angel. In all that time it was no different than the love I feel for my own children. It is funny because I believe that all children are placed on this earth by God to be loved and nurtured into the person they are meant to be. In the case of our adoption, this little guy couldn't have been loved more by me or my family. He fit in like a missing puzzle piece. And he showed us (even at his young age) that he could love us in return. No one had to teach him to love us just as no one had to teach us how to love him. My children and I loved him very much even without being born into our family. It just came naturally.

As you grow in age and experience it is very likely that you will come to know many different forms of love, love for parent, love for friends, love for your spouse(or significant other) and most likely love for children (your own, as well as, your friend's children and maybe even an adopted child).  If this happens it is truly something wonderful. I know it's hard to believe but the feeling you get is even better than winning a new PS3! Children (as your parent or parents probably agree) are God's greatest gift.

I guess what I am trying to say is when the time comes and you find yourself in the position to decide to love a child that is not your own, in your heart you will just know if it is right or not. If it happens you will find it is a very wonderful thing.

Answer 6

Because once you adopt that child IS yours.

Answer 7

A child is a child no matter where they come from. Just because they have parents that arnt responsible doesn't mean that they dont deserve them. Every kid should have love no matter if they are yours or not.

Answer 8

well if you love someone, it dont matter as much if you gave birith to them or not. Even though they are not yours. Some people are unable to have kids, so they would love the adopted kid as much as if they could have their own..

Answer 9

Since you are only 14, it may be hard to understand how two people or one person can adopt a child and love it as your own. I'm very confident that as you grow up your feelings on this may change or you will at least understand people that adopt. I will tell you this my parent love me as their own. And i love them just as much.

Answer 10

You can't. You won't. You learn to do your best. I married a woman with a child, and we had our own. It is true I love my birth son more, but I will do everything in my power to make my other son feel loved the same way. Example, I kiss one - give the other a kiss too. This is a simple as survival of the fittest, you will always love and nurture blood over others. It's in your genetics, you are naturally drawn to yours first. But know, you can provide a different kind of love that can be cherished the same.

To the people that say you should just love them the same,  I would agree, but that is not reality. I love my wife, but if my wife made me choose between her and my mother, and or my birth son - who do you think I would choose.

Here, let's try this scenario. Your in a burning house, you have a split second to grab one kid or the other - one is birth, the other is step/foster. Who would you choose?

Don't agree with me? see what my poll I just conducted says. This is my opinion too - not fact. It's hard to diagree with one's opinion.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 11

I can understand your feeling.  I once felt as you do.  

However, I can say without any doubt that is makes no difference.  I love my adopted sons every bit as much as I love my natural daughter.  In fact, because I am older now, I believe I feel my love for them more deeply than I could when I was a young father.

Answer 12

You love them all equally! They are YOUR child! They are very special. If I were you, I'd meet people that have adopted and or do foster care. We are in the process. That was the best thing for us is meeting other people. Seeing how they love them so much, all the positiveness. If that is your calling in life, you will be greatly blessed. I've heard people say that their adopted kids are so perfect and if they had their own they wouldn't have been so perfect, they feel that since they were incapable, that God blessed them with extremely wonderful kids. Meet people online or read biographies about adopted kids or adoptive parents. Just get into it and research it! You'll see that the blood and genes have nothing to do with loving a child!

Answer 13

My brothers are adopted and its as if they were blood related.  We don't even think about the fact that they are adopted and I know my parents love them just as much as if they gave birth to them.  But, I do think it takes a special someone to adopt, so if you aren't sure you shouldn't do it.

Answer 14

You're 14. The only person you love right now is yourself.

Answer 15

Our son is adopted and he is our child even though I didn't give birth to him. I can't imagine loving a child anymore that I love him! He's the center of our world! He has brought so much joy to us. Trust me...genes  have nothing to do with love!

Answer 16

you feel this way because you are only 14..we all love our children they are so alone until someone loves them..that;s like if you got into a relationship with someone who has a baby, you would love that baby as your own ..

Answer 17

I really don’t think this could ever truly be explained to some people. As there are some people that will never understand it.  If a person cant see themselves loving an adopted child or Foster child the same  as a biological child then that  person should not adopt or become a foster parent. Its better to be honest  with yourself then to lie to yourself.  That’s not fair to the child(ren). Of course you’re young so one day you might understand.

Loving is not about  loving someone more or less. Its just about love and love grows and expands. i would safe both kids ,In hardships people find strength that they didn't know they had. Or i would die trying.

Answer 18

OMG! The point of adopting a child is to make it your own.. Just because you dont give birth to it doesnt mean you cant love it.... You should not have children.. and by the way your 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 19

OMG your sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... mean!!!! why wld you say that..ya def shows u are 14! and a brat at that! A child is a child! if you cant love them just cause there not your own, then you dont deserve to have a baby that is your own! I know many friends who were adopted as babies, not because the ppl cldnt have kids but because everyone needs to help as little or as much as they can. and thought adopting is a start ...You have lots to GROW UP and LEARN! what if U were adopted ..think of that!! put yourself in there situation!

Answer 20

First of all you are really to young to understand how a person can love a child that they didnt have. My husband and I adopted our daughter from birth and wouldnt think of her not our child. When we saw her, she was our child. We were there when she was born and have been there from day one even when she had to stay in the NICU for three long weeks. A person can fall in love with a baby or child bc they want too. Not bc they cant see this child not being theres.

Answer 21

Your 14, once you mature a little you will realize that a child is a child. Once you have kids you will realize too. Then again there are some people who are not meant to adopt.