How dangerous are borderline ppl when they are angry?

Question

Ok, long story short. A borderline person who I was best friends with turned around and viciously stabbed me in the back over something stupid. (Aren't they overly sensitive...?)

Question is, what steps can I take to protect myself and my family? I stupidly trusted her, and now she is nuts. I'm afraid of her doing all sorts of unimaginably evil things with what she knows about me, or just anything else.

Below is the address for the nuttiness of this situation:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/WelcomeToOz/message/124580

Answer 1

i have bpd, she will only hurt you if she still hates you, she might love you tomorrow but wanna kill you 5 mins later my advice is to confront her about it and tell her how she is reacting  

Answer 2

SET – Support Empathy Truth – is a three-part system of communication. During confrontations, interactions with the borderline should invoke all three of these elements. The ‘S” stage of this system, “Support” invokes a personal statement of concern. “I am sincerely worried about how you are feeling” is an example of a Support statement. The emphasis is on the speakers own feelings and is essentially a personal pledge to try and be of help.

Wit the “Empathy” segment, one attempt to acknowledge the borderline’s chaotic feeling: How awful you must be feeling”. It is important not to confuse not to confuse empathy with sympathy which may elicit rage. Also, empathy should be expressed in a neutral way with minima personal reference to the speaker’s own feelings.  The emphasis here is on the borderline’s painful experience.

The ‘T” statement representing truth or reality emphasizes that the borderline is ultimately responsible for this life and that others attempts to help cannot pre-empt this primary responsibility. While support and empathy are subjective statements acknowledging how the principals feel, truth statements show recognition that problem exists and address the practical issues of be done to solve it. other characteristic Truth expressions refer to actions that the speaker feels compelled to take in response to the borderlines’ behaviors, which should be expressed in a matter-of-fact, neutral fashion (Here’s what happened… these are the consequences… this is what I can do.. what are you going to do..) But they should be stated in a way that avoids blaming and sadistic punishing. The truth part of the SET system is the most important and the most difficult accept since so much of his world excludes realistic consequences.

Communication wit the borderline should attempt to include all three stages. However, even if all three parts are stated the borderline may not integrate all of them. Predictable responses result when one of the se levels is either not clearly stated or is not heard.

Answer 3

Well generally people with Borderline aren't really very violent to others but more violent towards themselves. Remember that she cannot help she is the way she is, and she is probably suffering more than you can ever imagine. Is she in therapy? If she is, I suggest you speak to her therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist about this situation and the correct way to handle this. As well as learning a bit more about BPD and what not to do.

The chances are quite slim that she will hurt your family, she might hurt you as a means to 'get you back'. I suggest speaking to her, telling her how you feel, giving her a chance to talk etc.  

Answer 4

I have had the same problem with my sister (I'm BPD and I'm almost certain she is) she never missed an opportunity to stab me in the back. Any time I told her anything in confidence, she'd immediately go to my family and tell them everything. While I'm not afraid of her physically, (I'm a guy), she has harmed my relationship with my family.

   I eventually had to cut off ALL contact with her. I've only seen her once in the last 12 years or so, and that was at our aunt's funeral last year. I was barely civil to her.

   As for your question, have you known her to be violent in the past? Is she in treatment? It is not necessarily a given that BPDs are violent.

   I would save all e-mails that she sends you just in case you might have to get a restraining order or take some kind of legal action. Make a note of all contacts she tries to make, phone calls, mail, visits,etc.

   You need to cut off ALL contact with her. Don't respond in any way except to let her know that her behaviour is unacceptable.

    It isn't likely that she will do anything to harm anyone, but it's best to cover your bases.

    You need to tell your family about this person, she might attack you through them.

     I know what its like to have to deal with a BP who is particularly ill.

     Good luck.