How deeply divorce has affected your life?

Question

I am a divorced man and I'm 30.

I am very ashamed of telling people I am divorced, especially my colleagues. However I think some of them know by checking my forms.

Anyways, I just want to get married again, but I'm scared it's not gonna work again. I feel divorce is just a bad tag on my forehead and I don't know how to approach new women and ask for marriage.

Do I need to give myself a long break? or get married again soon? I got divorced 6 months ago.

Answer 1

A divorce is nothing to be ashamed of, at least I think so. I got married at the age of 21 and got divorced at the age of 29. I'm 30 now and still take it slow. To being very open on my divorce has helped me even thogh no one ever gave me any advice when it happened. I just knewit was meant to be cause no matter how hard i tried she just wouldn't be happy.

I strongely think that you shouldn't rush anything. Life is short if you look at it that way. When it's time you and who ever she may be will know it right off hand. Just keep your mind open for all possibilities.

Answer 2

Don't feel too bad. The percentages for marriages working out today aren't hot. I feel that younger people tend to rush into marriage. Don't be ashamed. Just think... you are one of the minority of guys that us 'pushing 30' girls are looking for!  You are the IT man!. Do you realise that most many women have trouble finding a 30-year-old man as they are already married, engaged, shacked up, have kids or g*y. Get out there are try again as soon as you can - life's too short!!

Answer 3

I know my answer will sound like I take divorce lightly, so let me first state that I did not and do not. However, I do think people grow and change and that isn't always done together. I am divorced 2 years now and started dating about 6 months after the divorce. I should say however that we were separated for about a year prior to the actual divorce, so all things considered we were apart for 1.5 year. It's individual...just date when YOU feel that you are ready, not based on some given timeline. Divorce is so common that almost everyone you know would have to be ashamed if it were something to be ashamed of. Yes, it is sad when a marriage fails. We enter into that agreement truly believing it is forever. For me, who I was at 26 years old was not who I was at 35 years old, the relationship was not the same, he was not the same. You get one life to live and for me, there's no option in spending it unhappy. The divorce was very sad, very depressing, and it was a really hard time in my life. I can honestly say though that I am now happier than I have EVER been, and with someone that is perfect for me as I am today. You have to let yourself get over the guilt and get over the shame. Lots of love and fun out there to be had...don't miss out!

Answer 4

You don't have to tell everything.

Your personal life is something you choose

whom you want to share it with.

No it's over.   enjoy yourself

Answer 5

I've been divorced for 4 years now. Nothing to be ashamed of from my point of view. It was my choice and is my business so other people judging me for any reason is not their place at all. Does not bother me anyway. Give it time. Sort out what went wrong and figure out what you want in your next relationship. 6 months to me is not enough time to heal.

Answer 6

You got to be kidding. Take a break, 1-2 years..

For me when I divorced I was also ashamed. I gave my word to the marriage and failed.  

Answer 7

If you feel ashamed you will act that way.

Was the divorce a result of abuse, addiction or adultery?  If yes, then there is no reason to feel so bad.  If it was for other reasons, then maybe it could have been resolved with counseling and a true desire to put the other person first.

I have been divorced for 3 years now, and have no desire to get remarried.  I will know when the time is right, but I also know that my divorce was a result of addiction and adultery and I am so much happier now that I was when I was married.

Don't rush anything.  If you are ready to get re-married you will know when the time is right.

Don't dwell on it.  Take your time and make sure your life is different and you won't make the same mistakes the second time around. GL

Answer 8

From what I hear this is a phase that every divorcee goes through. It sounds like it is too early for you to be comfortable with the divorce but you have to do what is right for you. Maybe taking a break and thinking about where things went wrong and was it more you or her then that way when you realize why your marriage fell apart the first time and what you can do your  to avoid that happening in you nest relationship. As well as see whats out there and see who you are REALLY compatible with. That is what is most important for newer divorcees. I wish you the best!

Answer 9

You are thinking too much.  Don't feel that way.  Everyone in and out of your place of employment have their own life issues to worry about.  This is my second marriage.  Twenty years in between.  

Why not try a dating website.