How did u cope after ur husband cheated on you?

Question

My husband & I remarried. ( I know, I was a fool to believe) I found out he was cheating on me, & I am just blown away. He has also lied to me and the person he was cheating with. This was our 2nd chance. He keeps telling me he will stop if I give him ANOTHER chance. I told him I can't answer any questions right now, I am too hurt & devastated. I just found out yesterday that he was cheating & was even cheating when we dated. I am a Christian so I am praying and I have some good friends praying also. I am leaning toward the marriage being over because he is such a compulsive liar.

Answer 1

only god can answer this question, YOU pray and ask god for guidance in this situation GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

Answer 2

follow your intuition and begin a new life or stay with him and deal with this for the rest of your life.

Answer 3

Good way to lean...Now do it.  Throw the bum out.

Answer 4

His cheating had nothing to do with you. It has to do with him and his insecurities. Know that you are a good person whether he is faithful or not. Know that you are in control of youself and no one else. Know that your identity is not in him or any other person. You accept that he can not be faithful. You pick up your stuff and go. Don't be embarrased or hurt. You can choose to learn from this and move forward or dwel on it and be sad for months. Live your best life and live happy as much as possible. Don't waste your time thinking about the past.  

Answer 5

he didn't honor your vows AGAIN, so why keep him?  he cheated on you AGAIN, so why keep him?  we lied to you AGAIN, so why keep him?  this seems like a no-brainer.  move on and make wiser choices next time.

Answer 6

Sorry, I think you are wasting valuable time here. This one is never going to settle down, you already know that. IF you cannot live with a guy who runs around all the time, then cut your losses and get out now. We cannot answer this for you...only you know if you can live with someone who will continue to run around as long as he can. Goldwing

Answer 7

I've never been married.. but it sounds like the phrase "Once a cheater, always a cheater". It doesn't sound like he'll change. You should try and move on and find someone who will appreciate you for all you have to offer.  

Answer 8

leave him run fast! he will always cheat on you he got away with it before why wouldn't he do it again  

Answer 9

Move on, he wont change. You have already proved to him that he can cheat and you will forgive him. Taking him back AGAIN will only reinforce that. Cut this cheater loose and find someone who will love you and show you the respect you deserve. I know it hurts but I promise you, there will be a time in the future when you will see the end of this relationship as the best thing that ever happened to you.

Answer 10

its a 3 strikes policy i guess. there is really only 2 ways. either leave him or try to work it out. if he continues cheating its a habit and he shouldn't get any sympathy or forgiveness for it. if he does it again you should def leave him.  

Answer 11

If he cheated once he'll do it again. He is not worth the time of day. If you already gave him a chance and he couldn't stop than why would you bother giving him another chance? I was in a relationship(married) for 5 years and I was cheated on numerous times. I couldn't deal with it anymore and I left. We do not deserve to be cheated on we are worth more than that. Let him have his fun and take him to the cleaners.

Answer 12

If I found out he was cheating I would not stay.  Once a cheater always a cheater.  

Answer 13

you know.....I am tearing up reading this.  My husband and I are going thru the same thing.  You know all I can say is pray, get deep inside your Bible and ask God to talk to you, make you understand what you need to know.  If you don't let go and let god, handle this, you will push yourself over the edge,  I just got out of jail last Sunday for trying to kill mine.  You love him and he constantly took that for granted.  Sigh....don't look at this as a 2nd go around, count it as a first.  Let's for his sake..say it's a first, get some space and get your emotions together.  Then sit down, pray to God and ask for guidance, then talk things out with your husband.  DEFINITLY go to counseling.  It's something in him that needs NEEDS to be addressed.  Sounds like he is really suffering from some self esteem issues.  YOu know he loves you...b/c you feel it.  I'm not going to sit here and say he don't.  But he needs to love or have more love for him.  Get the Spirit involved you can not, CAN NOT fight this battle alone.

Answer 14

my ex- husband cheated on me our whole marriage... and i didn't know until i left him i was more mad that i didn't know we we're together for 4 years and he cheated all 4 years(we dated for 3 and the got married)

Answer 15

I am sorry for what your going through. The pain is unexplainable.

You gave him another chance, he blew it. he cheated and lied and your devastated. There may be a small part that wants to still be married. He is the one who went outside the marriage and lied to you.

Once trust is gone, after something like this, I do not think I could ever trust him again.

Its good that you have support. People who can help you cope and deal with this.

Being a Christian and divorced, I some what know what you are going through. I want to share something with you and will try to not babel on.

When I realized all the lies I was being told I was so angry . Then when i found out he had cheated I was in so much pain. I knew he was, he continued to lie. At this time I had joined a Woman's group at the church. I had been praying and thinking about what to do. Our first meeting was about "how to have a happy marriage" . I thought I was going to be sick. I did some quick praying.

After breaking up into groups we made lists of things we thought made and kept a Happy marriage. There was a woman who broke into tears, she said that the things on the list ( trust, faith, communication and so on) she has never had. She told us she had been married 32 years.

I ran to the bathroom, fell to the floor and cried and cried. I was almost 29 and I thought I canot, will not have this kind of life. I knew then it had to end.

The trust is gone, he has broken your heart and runiend your dreams.

Ask yourself is this the man I want to stay with?

Its a hard decsesion, but one you have to make.

No woman deserves to be lied and cheated on.  Please do not be the woman from the church, who spends 30 + years with someone who breaks your heart. And dose not deserve your love.  

Answer 16

once a cheater always a cheater statistically speaking

Answer 17

Now you know the truth about him, so don't make the same mistake a third time. Move on without him.

Answer 18

God hates divorce, but it is allowed in the case of adultery, which he has done. I pray that the Lord will guide you, and that you will have His perfect peace. In the Name of Jesus.

†Prayer Warrior At Your Request†