How did you choose your bridesmaids???

Question

i cant afford to have a big wedding, well not one with a big wedding party anyway, i'm only planning on having one bridesmaid and one flower girl, but i have 4 sisters and 3 nieces!!! help how can i choose??? i also have lots of female friends who are all keen to be my MOH!!!! HELP!!! please! what are the rules and etiquette surrounding it all?

Answer 1

I think that you should choose the person that you feel closest to to be your MOH.  If it is one of your sisters that's fine.  If it is one of your friends that's fine too.  I had a friend who could only have a couple of bridesmaids.  She then had "honorary" bridesmaids as the people she would have liked but couldn't.  We walked in before the BM's and sat in a special section and had a corsage but wore whatever clothing we wanted.  It was fun.  For me it was the fun stuff of a wedding without all the expense or hassle of having to get a special dress.  We helped her decorate and all the fun things bridesmaids do with a bride before the wedding.

Answer 2

It is traditional for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses.  I was the youngest and last to marry, and I chose 2 of my niece's whom I was closest to, the other held me to something I said as a child ;-( otherwise I would just have had two.  But if you did want to include everyone but not have a big wedding party, the others could give you the lucky horseshoes etc which is done outside after the service.

Just remember it is your day, the only one you have to please is yourself and what you want.  Just explain and if anyone is offended well tough.  They can do what they want when their time comes.  You cant please everyone all of the time.  

Answer 3

i only have 1 sister so it'll be her and my closest friend who i've known a long time

Answer 4

I only have 1 sister and not many really close girl friends. So I chose my sister as MOH and My fiance's sister as my other bridesmaid.

In your situation I would probably chose the sister that I am closest to as MOH and give your other sisters other roles. ( Usher, Guestbook attnedant, Mistress of Ceremony). As for the flower girl, don't have one. That way there are no hurt feelings.  

Answer 5

I had this problem too- there was no way i was gonna choose a bridesmaid out of duty....Choose someone you really like i.e best friend, someone who is a great organiser ideally as MOH and either have 2 older nieces as bridesmaids for aesthetics or 2 similar sized sisters.....This sounds very shallow but pictures are what you remember your wedding by!!

I choose my Best friend as MOH, i was hers last months plus she is super creative, beautiful and a perfectionist then chose my 2 youngest sisters 15 and 20 years (as they are of similar height to MOH) as well as a 3X 2-5 year old nieces/godaughters.....It meant i left out several nieces and 2 sisters and countless friends but they understood eventually - after all there is a credit crunch going on.......Or you could have 8 bridesmaids like my undecisive friend!!

Answer 6

there are no rules you are allowed who ever you choose and they will understand.  Why not choose the one person who you could not do without as your bridesmaid.  maybe your sisters and friends could dress similar and be a line up for you like alot of men do for the groom in weddings.  Or you could decide who you want check out cheaper options for wear, there are plenty of places to get cheaper dresses, mine were from an ex-hire shop and cost me £20 each, I had 3.  Ask your sisters to pay for the dresses for your nieces so they can all be flowergirls and if not explain you cant choose between them, if they cant help then go without and use the money elsewhere.  As long as you enjoy your day and dont have to worry about keeping others happy then it will all be fine.  The day will go so quickly anyway you should enjoy it for you and not everyone else.  I hope you find a solution and good luck with your wedding :o)

Answer 7

usually u chose the sister who's oldest or ur closest with. as for ur other sisters and friends there is the book keeper, maybe female ushers, servers,hair and makeup. u can keep every1 busy.

the flower girl is usually bt 4 and 7. u could have 2, that is always cute. and if u have a niece that is older u could have her stand @ the book as ever1 signs in.u could have a niece pass out birdseed or bubbles. its all up to u!

congrats and good luck!!!

Answer 8

Since you have 4 sisters I would go with your best friend or the person you are closest to. If you have 3 neices I wouldn't have a flower girl at all to avoid upsetting the other two.

Answer 9

It makes it easier if you have a small family! When/if I get married my bridesmaids would be my 2 cousins on the basis that they are the only 2 female family members closest to me in age (6 & 8 currently) and I am quite close to them. My MOH would then be my best friend from school (who has said she does not want to wear tangerine!) providing we are still in touch then.

So it's easy for me really!

Speak to your female friends about the MOH situation. Have any of them been in a wedding party before? Or definatly will be in the future? Ask them if they would mind if you picked a friend who hasn't and probably won't be a MOH anytime soon. Give them all a part to play however so they don't feel left out and on the day let them help get ready with you. Make sure your maid of honour you choose however has similar tastes to you!

Alternatively, let them decide between them however this is chickening out rather!

The bridesmaid and flower girl I think should be the youngest sister and youngest niece. But that is just my opinion. You could always have your 3 nieces as bridesmaids/flowergirls instead? That way your sisters would still be included to an extent in the party with their daughter. You're not favouring 1 sister more than the others that way. Again give them all a part to play in the wedding ceremony.

Do you have a friend/relative who's a keen seamstress? If so you could ask them (nicely) if they'd be willing to make the dresses for you bridal party. It keeps the cost down that way just make sure you give them something in return!

Hope this helps

Answer 10

you pick the one you want, its your day, i'd choose my best friend, which in this case is not at all my sis, while i love her we got next to nothing in common, and i'd rather have someone who understand me to plan togheter with

Answer 11

HI lol, oh lord, mine was easy as I didnt have that many to choose from, but to be honest it is up to you and if its going to cause conflict then have you best mate as the MOH, your eldest sister  and your youngest nieces, if the others take a funny then just say you wont have any then then they will feel bad because the others cannot be a apart of your big day because they are being immature a about it, you will think of who you want too and dont change your mind for anyone.

Answer 12

My MOH was a good friend of 10 years, closest in my heart. I chose her even though she lived very far away, and only came in the evening before the wedding - I just wanted her standing up for us.

Three bridesmaids were - a close friend of six years I had worked with in the past; a second cousin I was close to; and a niece.

Answer 13

About your only expense for a bridesmaid is the bouquet and a gift but if that's too much I would just pick whoever you're closest to.  I  think the rest will understand if you really can't afford to have them all as bridesmaids.

Answer 14

I think it's supposed to be a position of honor.  So whoever seems to be helping the most with the wedding, or whoever is the one who's been there for you the most in the past when you had hard times should get the position.

Answer 15

It was a given. My sister was picked first, then my best friends and then my fiance's sister!

Answer 16

I chose my MOH because she's patient, she's helpful, she's detailed, she's creative, she's responsible, and I think of her as my very best girlfriend.

My bridesmaid got chosen for me (SIL) and she was a complete b*tch through the process.  Don't choose someone who's overly opinionated, hyper critical or argumentative by nature.  It doesn't work.

I canceled my wedding.  Just got married by ourselves in Maui last month.  YAY!

Answer 17

i would think you would choose the sister you are closest too then your oldest neice,

your always gonna upset someone thou, regardless of etiquette nobodys ever happy,  

Answer 18

How about your mother if she is close to you. No one can argue with your mother being the maid of honor. You can give your sisters special jobs. :-)  

Answer 19

I don't know the rules or ettiquite surrounding this but i chose my best friend for my moh even though i have 3 sisters. My youngest niece is going to be my flower girl, and that's pretty much it. i choose a friend so not to offend my sisters, and make them fight.