How did you deal with living with verbally and physically abusive family members and friends?

Question

like in your childhood years-

teen years-

and adult years-

did you stop talking to them?

do you still visit them?

do you feel like the abuse has damaged your life forever? like how you relate to people- date- befriend people?

have you sought out counseling?

*just need some real honest answers here*

thanks!

Answer 1

Honestly my family has brought me alot of bad karma in my life more then good.I talk to them but I keep my distance.I've been straight with them about it and the only thing that confronting an ignorant person brings,is and even more ignorant response.Personally its best to spare your self the pain that comes with chasing after a curl person and surround your self with those who love you for you*hugs*I went threw this for most of my teen and childhood years and i can honestly say confronting and being straight up with them may not be the thing to do at the moment.Seek counseling.If you have anymore questions please feel free to ask me i've truely been there and i know it's hard to deal with.

Many Blessings  

Answer 2

well friends i warn them of what they are doing first and then i give them a dose of what they are giving me whether it is verbal abuse or physical as for family i just dont associate with them if it is a live in situation i fight back....But i am very physically strong. it depends on the situation. dating, the first time they get verbally abusive i warn them after that i do it right back and if it continues i leave. Physical is different they got one time to hit me and they will never hit anyone again ive been in an abusive dating situation he hit me once and I let it slide the first time after that he hit me again and i went tina turner on him in the back seat of his car

Answer 3

My father has been verbally abusive and violent in his words.

In my childhood years it made me feel like I was the black sheep out of my 2 sisters and I.

In my teeen years I just haed him.

I'm 19 years old and I'm ok. We don't have a good relationship. We stopped talking for a year and just recently started talkiing a bit

I see him on a daily basis becausewe live in the same house, but I will be going away to college in the next few weeks so that will change soon eneough

I don't think Im damaged forever, but I do have a weird way of interacting with people. I can even be really sient around my best friends. Also,  I kind of am suspicious of every male.

No I havent seeked counceling. I think I'll be ok. When we stopped talking for that one year hiatus, I felt really good about it and stress free.

Answer 4

Be honest and upfront with them and say your behavior is making me feel like less of a a person. If they do not care seperate yourself from them. Sometimes people also dont allways realize they are doing it.

People that do that are also hurting too from somethign someone did to them but it is good to set boundaries and say you wont put up with it. I broke off from a serious relationship with a man when I was in my 20s because of that..He was (verbally abusive) to me. He hit me one time when play fighting but it definatly NOT a play punch.

I grabbed him where it hurts and told dont you ever ever hit me like that again I will cut this off and feed it to you!!!!



When I am done with you my brothers will deal with you as well!!!!!

He said he was just playing I said not from the hard bone crunching impact of your punch I dont beleive you"!

Needles to say He didnt mess with me anymore.

Because I am a Christian does not give people permission to punk on me. I also forgive and pray for them but I dont let people make a doormat out of me either. No i have not sought out counseling. I yelled at the ex-boyfriend enough so I dont need it.That was my counsel session. Funny!

But on a serious note After becomming a christian God has so much dealt with those issues that I had in my life I was able to not have those  feelings when I saw the ex years later.

It is also good to set healthy boundaries with these people as well they will learn when they find themselves alone and wonder why you dont come over anymore.

By setting up HEALTHY boundaries they will learn to respect you as well.

With God's help these things can be overcome. I have never been (physically abused). I dont know what I would do if I did I can only go by PAST EXPERIENCES as a kid if soemone punched me with intent to hurt me what I would do. Which is physically fighting back. And I allways came out the winner

From a human perspective,,,,

I honestly dont know how Jesus did it.  Put up with people hitting on Him and much worse.  (I am a fighter by nature acording to my past).   I am NOT Him I can tell you that much.

I can relate to Peter who was a fighter. He was also the one who cut off the ear of someone when they came to arrest Jesus. I know Peter was one who was a fighter.

I am being honest here. Hope this does encourage you you dont have to put up wit it and it really helps to set healthy boudaries.

Answer 5

call the cops and sue them

Answer 6

In my early 20s, I realized that the vast majority of people have been through the kind of pain that you describe, or something much worse. I then got out of suffering victim mode and was much happier.  

Answer 7

just pretend to be friendly and avoid them

Answer 8

well at the moment u should totally stop dealing with them. You can fell some changes  in yourself, just move on with yr daily  jobs, get some new friends & ect. This will take time but your feelings might change....