How did you get over the grief of losing the dream of a "perfect" family?

Question

Separated amicably from my ex-husband (we just weren't right for eachother) and we are still friends for the sake of our son. I'm now with someone I can only describe as my soulmate (also previously married with 2 children). The problem is that now I am with someone so perfect for me I'm grieving the fact that we didn't meet earlier so our lives weren't so complicated now..... Is this normal????

Answer 1

Once you get with him on a day-to-day basis you'll find out that that situation isn't so perfect either.

Answer 2

See that's what i call the 'Disney Effect' where we dream of our perfect marriage to the perfect man with our even more perfect 2.4 kids, sadly reality doesn't play out that way..

but that's not a bad thing!... sometimes a marriage doesn't work...at least you figured that out before it was too late and i am sure your kid is all the better for it, your friends with your ex (which is very rare) and you have met the guy of your dreams!

i wouldn't regret a thing if i were you, id thank fate for leading you in the right direction! :)

Answer 3

If you and your soul mate met earlier, it might not be this perfect. Each of you was a different person with less experience about relationship. This is the right moment so every thing is so wonderful. Don't spoil it by grieving too much. Let happiness come and enjoy it. Be happy, please. Every thing will be ok.

Answer 4

maybe thats how you were supposed to meet...life is balanced....and something bad things happen before good things and good things happen later...but they do happen.....something u learn from your previous experiences which leads you into this new life and meet new people that you wished you had met earlier....but this is how life works...

Answer 5

I met my soul mate when I was 47 yrs old.  He passed away not too long ago.  Do not waste time grieving over not meeting him sooner....it is a waste of the time and time is a precious thing.  Sometimes we have to have what is not right to realize what is right when we find it. Your past and his led to to each other....get on with life.  Live, love and be happy.

Answer 6

Life gets complicated as we grow and age. That`s part of life, nothing we can do about it.

As far as getting over the dream of a perfect family, I never have, just tucked it away as maturing causes us to do sometimes.

Do you not see that most of us NEVER find our soul`mate?

I`d rather find him someday, than never. If you are completely happy inside, then you are rare in this life. Be happy for what you have now.

Answer 7

Enjoy what you have right now.  There is no such thing as the perfect family.  

Answer 8

No family is the perfect image on TV families where problems are solved in 30 minutes.  I have a son and 2 stepdaughters and I love them all.  My elder stepdaughter is only accepting of me and it has nothing to do with her parents divorce because his ex is remarried and happily still married. My present husband was single and is finally asserting himself as my husband.  Our kids are adults and He and I love each other and washing his underwear on a sunday without complaint.  We are making a road trip together for a week to enjoy time together.

Answer 9

Your glass is half empty.  You should be happy that you met someone.  Feel lucky.  Not put out of your way or ripped off in life.

Answer 10

sure it's normal, it just isn't reality.

   There's good reason you didn't meet earlier as we all have to go through things, meet ppl and make changes, before we are meant to meet who is meant for us. Chances had you met much earlier, are that you would not have been right for each other back then. Every event and relationship changes us into who we are, neither of you two are the same ppl now as you were when you started out.

Answer 11

That's pretty crazy.

I'm still dealing with my insane ex & the evil ex-in laws.

Count yourself lucky and let it go.

If that doesn't help, just remember Karma could've made you Pamala Anderson in another life. If that doesn't help, get checked out.

Answer 12

u can't turn back the clock and undo a thing,maybe the disappointments from the past relationship made u the person u are today so u could know exactly what u wanted, based on your life before.maybe you didn't meet earlier because u weren't ready yet.sometimes we run into many people were just not meant to be with,but that's what matures u, and has made u the person u are today. maybe had u met him before it would not have turned out this perfect.

Answer 13

Yes it is, but regret builds nothing but guilt and more regret and more time wasted.  Get on with building your life with this new person and put the past into the past.