How did you know when you were 'done' having kids?

Question

Did you have your last one and just say to yourself 'Well, that's it, we're done' and were at peace with that, or did time just pass unitl it was too late to make any sense for you, you were done? We just had #3, I would like one last one in 3-4 years, but hubby says no (and thinks he will probably stay with that opinion). I am 30 this year, so I could have another baby for the next 10 years, but really, I don't wish to be pregnant past 34 or 35, as my first was born when I was 19. So...how did you decide? Did you just 'know' it was your last baby, or did it work out that way? And if one of you wnated 'just one more' and the other didn't, how did you both get on the same path to agreeing to another?

Answer 1

I personally just felt that 3 kids would be more than enough to handle. We had both sexes. All the bedrooms in the house were now full. There were now no more seats left in the car. My youngest daughter was also my 4th pregnancy and I really didn't want to be pregnant a 5th time. That's it...I was done. My husband wanted another, but I told him that if he wanted it, HE would have to carry it for 9ms. He hinted about another until our youngest was about 3yrs, than realized he had enough on his plate already with the ones we had and dropped it.

Some people just know right after the last is born. For others, it takes some time. You may want a 4th now, but in a few years, your mind may change.  

Answer 2

I guess whenever the family feels complete and your gut instinct tells you so then your done.

It's a joint decision too, wait to see what he thinks in a year or two :)

xx

Answer 3

I'm so with you on this...  My husband and I had fertility issues.  We ttc for 4 yrs, suffering 1 MC until we got our twin boys, now 4.5 yrs old.  Then almost 4 yrs later, I got pregnant all on my own with yet another boy.  I was completely fine with just the twins.... but was over joyed when I found out I was expecting.. Now, I really want 1 more baby and I'd love to have a girl but a boy would be welcomed with open arms as well.  I too, am 30 yrs old so I have plenty of time as well..  My husband thinks 3 is good and it is... but I really wanna try once more for my girl...  I am the boss in our relationship so he's leaving it up to me.. but I'm just not completely sure..  There are days when I say "OMG, NO MORE KIDS.... Go get a vasectomy NOW... " lol .. and then there are days I am so thankful he hasnt got one yet...

So I dunno... I wish I knew for sure what I wanted.. I wish there was a magic button to push to say whether I really honestly do want another child or not.. lol..  I dunno..  If its Gods will, its Gods will...

Answer 4

It wasn't our choice - we were only blessed with one - and are extremely lucky to have him at that!

We thought we'd have six, but it was out of our hands.... and we had agreed before we were married that we wouldn't go the technology route.

(However, the one we have is a GOOD one!!!)

Answer 5

Some people know and some people have to just agree to a number.  I was so sure I only wanted 1.  Then when the newborn stuff ended and this little person emerged, I thought man!  We have to do this again!  #2 came along with all of her quirks and demanding ways but I was already 41.  I thougth that was the end.  I was a little wistful thinking, wow, another would have been great.

Not so, baby #3 surprised us all when I was 44.  He's no harder/easier than his sisters but I feel done.  Like this was meant to be just 3.  No more longing or thinking 4 would have been nice.  .  

Answer 6

We just slowly came to the realization that our family was ready to move beyond the childbearing stage.  I think it was when our youngest was starting school, and our oldest was getting ready to go to middle school. We realized that with the teen years still coming on and our new-found freedom to travel or enjoy family activities, we were in a really good place that would not last long.   I never thought I'd be able to let go of that desire to give birth and hold a newborn in my arms  - I was one of those moms who reveled in the childbirth experience.  But I was surprised to find that completing our family when we did felt natural and right for me.   Now I'm looking forward to grandparenthood.

Answer 7

well I have 4 boys.I always wanted a daughter so i have not giving it up but my husband new he did not want any more and he got fixed.But I'm glad now because my youngest is now a year old and i don't have any more pactnce  .So i have decided that i dont want anymore.It is time for me time lol  

Answer 8

Here is my philosophy on having children:  You can't have just one, because as an only child , if something happens to that child you have no others.  You can't have just two, because if something happens to one, you are in the only child situation again.  You can't have just three, because two will always pick on one.  So if you are contemplating having children, four is the least you can have.

But, seriously, we were done at 4, we have 3 biological children and one daughter that was born to someone else, but meant for us from the beginning!  If you feel there is still room in your heart to love another child, then go for it!

Answer 9

YOU HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.HAHA... I am just kidding. I have four kids and always knew I wanted 4. Everyone tried to convince me to stop at three, but I knew I wanted 1 more. When I got pregnant the fourth time, I knew I wanted my tubes tied. It felt right. I guess in the same way your biological clock ticks mine told me I was done. I now have my four beautiful children and to answer the question do I ever get depressed knowing I can't have any more babies? No, I think of all the new adventures we have as they get older. You will know in your heart when you are done having babies, it will just feel right . as crazy as that may sound.

Answer 10

well i always figured i would have 2-3 kids, i have one son and am pregnant with twins sooo looks like i will be done :) nice that i never needed to decide whether i wanted 2 or 3 :)

Answer 11

i have four and do not want any more.  This is a firm NO.  My husband still wants to try for one more but he has come to agreement with me.  Neither of us are fixed but we have come to an understanding.  We are a young couple and we know that energy wise we get tired.  Me from being pregnant and raising the children.  Him from going to work everyday and bringing home the bacon.  We know we would enjoy some time to relax.  And we won't get that by adding another one so that was one of the decisive factors.