How did you make the transition from one child to two a little easier on your first?

Question

My daughter is three. Our next child will be born just 2 months shy of her fourth birthday. She has always loved babies and seems quite excited about becoming a big sister, but I'm not quite sure just how much she really understands. How do I make it a little easier on her going from the only child to being a big sister?

Answer 1

Loving babies and living with them are 2 different things.  

What worked for me going from 1 to 2 and 2 to 3 is to emphasize how much they can do as the big kids.   And not in an obvious way but just casually in conversation.  When I was pregnant I talked about how the baby was going to have to sleep in a crib, not in a big bed, he would have to drink milk not have peanut butter, etc.  If we went to a park or something, I'd lament over how the baby won't be able to swing, poor baby.  He'd have to watch her.  

Once the baby came, the older ones were 'helping' me.  They'd get me diapers or a dropped toy or binky, shake the bottle to mix the formula, etc.  Even now, he is 16 months old and my 4 yr old will say, poor baby, he can't swim underwater yet.  Or she'll be talking to him telling him that 'someday, you'll be able to ride the ferris wheel' or stuff like that.  

Hope that helps.  

Answer 2

Babies need a lot of attention!!!  Make sure that you tell her repeatedly (before the baby arrives) that babies need to be held a LOT.  Also, make sure she understands that she won't be having tea party's w/ the baby anytime soon... babies sleep a lot and take time to grow.  They are fragile.  I'm sure there are more things I told my 3 year old but that's what I can think of off the top of my head.  Of course, make sure she knows how loved she is and that the baby isn't replacing her and make her feel like the big helper she is.

Answer 3

You don't have to do anything extra.   She will be just fine....especially if you involve her.  She understands everything, don't underestimate her.   When I had my second child, I packed a special present (hidden in my suitcase) for my oldest that was from the new baby.

Answer 4

My best old fashioned advice (it's been 34 years) is once the baby gets there, involve her in EVERYTHING regarding the baby. If you breast feed, make room for her on your lap, if you're changing a diaper, let her hand you the wipes, if you use a pacifier, let her put it in the infant's mouth...just involve her so she feels an important part in this new addition, rather than being pushed aside.

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Answer 5

I have three but my first 2 are 6 years apart.  However my other 2 are 18 months apart.  I would recommend that you praise her for big sister things, like help you with the feeding if you are bottle feeding etc.... Make sure that she gets attention and love.  Make sure you make time for her, even though it will be tough with a newborn.  

Answer 6

My 21 month old daughter is going to be a 'big' sister in 6 weeks and she loves to cuddle and hug my belly and I honestly believe she knows what is going on, so I'd think your daughter would too.  

I'm researching ways to make her accept the new baby so she won't feel displaced or jealous.  A few good ideas that I found are:  no big changes about 2 months before the baby comes.  Bring out all the furniture you'll use and let her help you put it together, handing you parts and stuff.  Let her help you put away the laundry and go shopping with you for things for the new baby.  It gives you a good chance to talk about babies and explain about them crying for everything and that they're not that much fun for a little while, etc.  Another really good ice breaker when you bring the baby home, present the baby to her first before anyone else.  She'll feel super important and that she's the most important "big" sister in the baby's world.  You can also try buying a bunch of cheap presents for her so that when people come to visit, they can pick up a wrapped package and give it to her while they coo over the new baby.  She'll be absorbed in her new present and feel a part of the excitement.  Coloring books, crayons, markers, and other craft supplies are a great idea.  You can also buy her a doll and all the things you have to take care of your baby, but miniature so that she can take care of her 'baby' like Mommy.  If that's a little too much you can always get her to help you care for the new baby by helping to get things and praising her for all her big girl and good helper help.

Answer 7

The entire time my daughter in law carried her last baby my granddaughter seemed very jealous & if anyone tried to speak on the subject of her getting a baby sister she'd reply,  "I don't want to talk about it".

We all thought for sure this 5 1/2 year old was going to be very upset not being the only child once the baby arrived.

To everyone's surprise she loves her sister , very protective & has no issues sharing mommy & daddy.

Just let her give you a helping hand at taking care of the baby.

I think your daughter will be just fine & no transitions will need to be made.