How did you react to the first year of your childs life?

Question

How long did it take you to realise you where a father? how did you help your partner out, if you are not a single parent? do you still have your social life?I have to ask this , my partner he makes out to everyone at his work that he is such a proud father and he does everything, untill recently i realised just how much he does not know about our son, my son is 8 months now and it feels like i am doing this as a single parent and with no help or support from him, i don't do any hobbies etc, i gave my singing, acting and dancing up to raise my baby boy and he is still doing pretty much what ever he wants and when he wants and he thinks that coz he works all day 5 days a week he deserves to go out etc! like tonight he is at the cinema with his m8 and i have just spent 4 hours trying to calm my screaming son down becasue he is teething, my partner never use to b like this i was with him 4 yrs b4 my son was born, and he changed the day i got pregnant, thought he would b different plus...

Answer 1

well thats too bad that your partner doesnt help you much. being a proud mom of two is great. No i dont have much of a social life still my kids  are 11 and 8 years old now, i think my kids have more of a social life than i do. most of the time i do go out though its with the kids and their friends or just me and my husband by ourselves. I mostly hang out with other people with kids. Those are the people i tend to have more in common with. i do every now and then join some type of activity like dance class or self defense class but always drop out cause my kids activites take priority. But i know i need to have more me time. But i love taking my kids to their activities. thats where i do most of my socializing, with the other parents. My husband is a great father, right off the bat he was real helpful. Of course most of the time i was having to tell him what to do. Cause fahterhood  didnt come natural to him. But i was there to support him and help teach him. he is still very attentive and now that i think about it im still having to tell him what to do step by step with the kids. i guess he still hasnt caught on. but thats ok. Cuase he helps out  so much. Guess i got lucky. I do see men though that dont do much of anything when they have kids and thats unfortunate. Cause they are really missing out on the whole expeirence. I feel that if fathers dont get more involved they wont understand how hard it is to care for a child and will keep having kids that they are not going to take care of. If every  dad was made to be more accountable they would stop and think before they had unprotected s*x. Well just hang in there and hope he wises up and starts helping soon. Maybe talk with him and express your frustrations with him and let him know you need some time alone for yoursef. And just cause he has a job outside of the house doesnt mean he should have more of a soicial life than you.  you work from home taking care of his child and your home and him.you need a night out too.Hang in there and GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 2

I think men have quite a few misconceptions on what it's like to be home alone all day with a little one who is so completely dependent on you! It is physically exhausting but even more then that is very emotionally exhausting (although I'm sure you'll agree... very rewarding) to be completely isolated from the rest of the world all the time. I think hte best wat to help him truely understand is not to give him yet another lecture but to have a girls day  and let him spend an entire day with your son. He still won't understand completely but it may make him more willing to help you out and take some of the stress out of your day. At the very least... you get a day out! Good luck!