How did you tell your young children (1-6y/o) that mommy/daddy would be gone for a long time for a deployment?

Question

How did you tell your young children (1-6y/o) that mommy/daddy would be gone for a long time for a deployment?

Answer 1

Just tell them the truth. A couple years from now, when they understand better, they are gonna really proud of you.

Answer 2

tell them the truth.........thats what i would do\

but since they're at a tender age.....i would just say mommy/daddy will be away for buisness for a while....

Answer 3

just be honest with them and reaffirm your love.

Answer 4

WOW!! My heart goes out to all four of you!

Be safe and most importantly BACK safe for your kids!!

Sorry if I can't help

Answer 5

Explain when you'll be coming home in terms of time that they can understand like for instance if your home coming is somewhere around a holiday or a birthday tell them that you'll be home before Christmas, or right after their birthday ect...

The best policy is honesty, tell them that Mommy/Daddy is going to do their job and keep safety...much like a policeman or woman...Your explanation should reflect their cognitive ability...obiviously a simpler explanation for a 1 yr old then a 6 yr old...

Answer 6

i was an army single dad, i know what you are going through.  in those age groups, especially the younger ages, they will not understand.  i know that is not what you want to hear, but the simple truth is that cognitively they don't understand that.  children want their lives to be predictable, and unfortunately the military cant provide a predictable life.  a six year old may comprehend what is going on, but it wont make it feel any less like an abandonment.  i got out of the army because of this.  its a hard life.... i know :-(

Answer 7

When my husband deployed in 2007 we just kept it as simple as possible. We didn't bring up the danger aspect and we told them he would be gone for a while but would come home to visit for a nice vacation. We also stopped watching the news in front of them, kids are very sensitive and pick up on the littlest things they hear.We made sure they knew they could write/draw him pics whenever they wanted as well as email. We made a big emphasis on how there were people that needed so much help in another country and that he was going over there to make a big difference in their lives. It seemed to work for them to know that he was helping others, it calmed their fears and also gave them motivation to try to help others as well. We made a paper chain and marked special dates on it for holidays, when he would be home on vacation, birthdays etc with different colors. It was a big thrill for them to remove each piece of the chain everyday and see he was getting closer to coming home. There were tears and difficult times but everyone seems to have gotten over the ordeal fairly well and maintained a close relationship while he was gone. Now he is home after being gone for 14 months and I don't think there is to much I could have done different to help prepare them. Good Luck and best wishes.

Answer 8

Use a map point out where they are and were you'll be going, how you're getting their. Also use a calender for the 6 year old circle the day you'll leave and if you know when you're returning declare that too.Let them know you love them and you'll be talking to them

hope this helps

Answer 9

Tell them where they are going. My daughter was 2 when daddy left and she said "my daddy is in Iraq" she didn't know that that was scary or dangerous. Just that it was far away and daddy was working. She is now 6 and is fine. My neighbors husbands all just got back and all of there kids knew and where fine. One thing that I would recommend is to not let them watch the news.

Answer 10

That totally depends on their age. If the child is under 3 years of age they won't even remember their father or mother.

If they are over the age of three Sesame Street has a great DVD for free available to military families called 'Talk, Listen, Connect".

I told my kids the truth: Daddy does a job that is very important and the Army says he has to go away to Iraq because the government says they need us there. Daddy doesn't want to go, but America voted to send him and it is his job to go where they send him.

Answer 11

Tell them that Mommy/daddy are going out for a little and that they love you and you will see them soon. Try to make it as simple as possible b/c you dont want to lie to them

Answer 12

My daughter had just turned 3 when her dad left. We explained to her that daddy had to go away to beat some bad guys and that it would take a long time. But when he was all done, daddy would come home. If the kids are a little older, you could mature up the explanation a little bit...but at that age, you really have to be careful so that they don't know too much about what could actually happen to them.  

Answer 13

It is going to be hard because they are so young they are not going to understand...just make sure you have pictures around and if they can get on the computer and use web cams those are always great...always tell them mommy/daddy loves them.....try and make sure they are around family alot.  They will have bad days just like you.  Mine were young when he started going on deployments and it does not get any easier....good luck

Answer 14

You have to start somewhere, so tell them Mommy/Daddy is going to work. As someone else suggested, show them a map and point to where he/she will be. Webcams, IMs, and phone calls will certainly help them to understand that even though he/she isnt HERE, that he/she is alive and well and working hard to make us all safe.  

Answer 15

going on vacation

went to help everyone

if he has a laptop, buy a webcam and set it up so you guys can talk to him/her while they are over there.