How different is single parent adoption(international) then in the U.S.?

Question

i adopted my daughter as a single person threw foster care when she was 2, shes now 11. Now im just thinking about( haven't decided yet ) about an international adoption this time around. It's pretty much the same process right?

Answer 1

I hesitate to try and answer this because of the 17 (& counting) thumbs down on another question from the anti-adoption trolls.

I don't think it's the same process. I think it costs a lot more and I know it takes more time but it's all worth it. You won't be adopting a child who's been "ripped from her screaming birth mother's arms nor coerced" nor can anyone call you a "baby stealer/snatcher/broker", unless they are the lying trolls in here.

Really investigate the agencies. It's very important to check through BBB and also if the agency is accredited in the country you are interested in.

As for the child(ren), know that you are helping an orphan who would most likely will die or be institutionalized and later turned out on the streets vs the care that you know may not be the best in the US, but is certainly a lot better than foreign orphans will ever get. Bless you & good luck.

added: contrary to the woman's comment below, there are many countries who do allow single moms to adopt and most of these children are orphans. My daughter's birth mother tragically died at childbirth and the father died from alchohol poisoning.

Answer 2

It actually is a pretty different process. You still have a homestudy and adoptive parenting issues, but that is about the extent of the similarity.

The biggest difference from an adopting parent's perspective is that international adoption is a lot more expensive and complicated. Twenty thousand is about the minimum amount when you get done with everything, and there is a lot of immigration service paperwork to do. Many countries do not let single people adopt. And in some countries there are ethical issues around why the childlren are available for adoption. And many countries are closing or curtailing international adoptions, so it usually takes a long time and you often have to spend a long time in the country (unless you are Angelina Jolie), so that could be rough on you and the daughter you have now (though it is possible it could be a wonderful cultural education for her also).

And most of the time international adoption means transracial adoption, and that can mean a lot of issues for the child and is not to be entered into lightly. Even without race issues, the child loses not only their first family, but their language and their culture.

If you have adopted through foster care before, you know the process there. That has issues and complications, too, of course, but you know those better than I, so I won't presume to educate you. If you are considering something else, there's probably a reason, but it would seem that would be the simplest (and certainly the cheapest) way to go. And children in foster care do need homes.

Good luck whatever you decide.

EDIT: Oh, whatever.

I didn't say no countries allow single women to adopt, just that many don't. And obviously her local fost/adopt system does allow single people to adopt (I think maybe they all do, but I don't know that for sure). She was asking if the process was the same, and I was pointing out differences.

And while children adopted internationally to the USA are classified as orphans (otherwise they would not be automatically considered US citizens), in many countries they do have at least one living parent, often 2. In Guatemala the mother is almost always living and adopting families often get to meet her and maintain contact (which is great for the child, IF they are going to be adopted). In China there is every reason to believe the parents are probably both alive. And I believe that in Russia and Eastern Europe also, while alcoholism is an awful scourge (when I was a Russian major living in Russia in the 80s, I saw people queuing up to buy perfume to drink! shudder), most children have at least one living parent (most women do not die in childbirth, that is really very sad. your poor daughter, Noodlesmycat. truly, I mean that).

Look, I'm not saying don't adopt internationally. That is what I did, and I'm very happy, and have every hope my daughter will be happy as well. But she will face big issues of loss of her first family and native culture and language (I hope to have her learn Mandarin, but that was not the language spoken where she was from). Those are huge issues for many adoptees. But then again, not so much for others that I know. But still, it truly isn't something to enter into lightly -- I know, because I thought about it a lot and in retrospect it still wasn't enough.

I do think fost adopt is probably an easier process (not necessarily easier parenting), all things considered, but like I said, if you are considering something else, I'm sure there is a reason.