How do I approach my parents about adopting my brother?

Question

if you don't know the situation, please go read my 2 previous questions about my little brother (Jacob, age 4). but if you do, i don't know how to ask my parents about adopting him. do i just walk up to one of them and say "will you adopt Jake?", or do i say "you know what i was thinking, Jacob would ft in perfectly with our family", should i sit them down with none of my brothers and sisters around (which would be hard to do considering how many there are), or do i just go to one of them. i really want to know if their already considering taking him in, or what's going on, and i want them to go down to that children's home and take my little brother by the hand and say"your coming home with us" (and i know it's not that easy, i've been through the whole foster care/adoption thingy). but how do i ask them? should it be casual,or all serious like. what do i do? and please go read my other 2 questions if you don't know what's going on (both have something about Jacob in them). thanks!!!!

Answer 1

i have kept up on your story, i would try saying something like, "since i met jake i cant imagine my life without him. i know it is a huge and possibly selfish thing to ask, but would you consider adopting him? i understand our family is already large and the added responsibility would fall on your shoulders, but he is my brother and i want him to have the same opportunities you have given me."

or something like that. your family seems to be quite open and loving, im sure they will understand why you want this, and at least think about the idea.

oh, i am so crossing my fingers for you. please keep us informed. good luck.

Answer 2

Miss, don't wait, go to them both, ask them to sit down cuz you want to talk to them about something important. Then, lay it out for them. Tell them how you feel about having them as parents, how much you miss your brother, and how much you want him to have them for parents too.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

Answer 3

I'm sure they know you are thinking about it.  I would just ask them if they would ever consider adopting more children.  They will know what you mean, if it is too difficult for you to come right out and ask for what you want.  I'm sure if it is at all possible, they will at least consider the possibility.  Let us know if it works out for you!

Answer 4

Don't have any other siblings around when you talk to your parents about this matter. It's up to you to decide if you want to go to one of your parents at first, or both. If it's easier to get away from the rest of the kids, then go to one of them first. It's important that none of the other kids are around (it's none of their business for now). I would start off by telling them what great parents they are and how lucky you are to have them. You said in a question regarding this matter that it was hard on you going through the foster care system. Let them know that even though you barely know your brother, that you'd hate for him to go through any more of the foster care processes. Let them know you love them, but let them know that you love your brother as well.

I would be very serious in this matter. Speak to them like you are an adult, and do not 'go off' on them if they say 'no'. After all, it's their decision, and not your's. If they do say 'no', then ask them what you can do to be a part of his life. The kid needs you; if he can't live with you,  find another way to be there for him.

Answer 5

I would talk with them alone if at all possible.  Just be honest and share your heart.  You want to eliminate any possible distraction when having a heart to heart as important as this so try to make them understand how important it is that you speak with them alone and have their undivided attention.

Answer 6

I would voice your desire sincerely and simply. "I want my brother with us if at all possible. I would like you to consider adopting him, please.". Then let them discuss it.

Answer 7

Sit them down together, no other siblings around.  Just tell them you miss your little brother and you can't stand him being in the system.  Ask them if it is at all possible, would they consider adopting him or at least trying to foster him and see how it goes.  It's going to seem strange asking them but, I'll almost bet you that they have thought about it.

Good luck hun.  No one in the world could blame you for wanting your little brother back.

Answer 8

Believe me, they have already thought about it. Just ask. Your parents have a bond with your brother already, there would have to be a very good reason for them to decide not to adopt him.

Answer 9

Randy c said it best.  Go for it!

Answer 10

Stop waiting! just sit both parents down with no sibilings. then just talk to them serisouly about it and ask them if he can be adobted by you guys. also tell them how much u want ur brother in ur family, oh and dont forget to pray to God to help your family throught all of this. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

God Bless You!

Answer 11

I have been following all your questions and also answered all of them.  I don't rememeber if I mentioned this to you in the past but I am a foster parent as well and I have also adopted through the system.  Anyway I think this is a very important decision for you guys and you need to speak to your parents about this ASAP as you don't want your little brother to be placed some where else while you are thinking about it.  They will understand and believe me I am sure that they have thought about it but you need to tell them how important this is to you and how you feel about it.  I also think you need to do this on your own without your brothers and sisters around and when you guys have decided what you are gonna do then you can talk with your siblings.  Please do not wait and have this conversation with your parents good luck!  And PLEASE let us know what happens.  I hope they say yes and you will get to be in your brother's life!