How do I become less uptight so that I can actually enjoy life and have fun??

Question

Ok.. I need advice about how to have fun. I am 19 years old... a generally shy 19 year old. I go to class, work, and then home almost EVERYDAY unless I go out with family occasionally. I hate being stuck inside, but have for so many years that I think that going out and having fun would be really difficult.... and awkward... for me. It usually takes me a long time to warm up to a person, and to really be myself and let loose. I don't really have many friends. I just moved recently so most of the few friends that I have are an hour away. Also, I am not into drinking-- I see that alcohol and drugs are how many people seem to enjoy themselves. Maybe I am just taking life way too serious.... or caring too much about what others think.. idk =[

Answer 1

quit focusing on yourself in every situation. Focus your attention on something else and quit being so self centered. Am not being mean or rude....just telling you how to get past your insecurities. Put your focus on something and start going outside of yourself and taking chances and become willing to laugh at yourself and cut yourself some slack when you make a mistake. Take a chance to make someone laugh and enjoy you.

This advice doesn't work.  Focusing on other people with lead them to exploit and take advantage of you.  They'll do all the talking and you'll be lucky to contribute anything.  They won't take you seriously and while you're being nice and focusing on them they'll be making plans with their real friends who aren't nice or patient.  DO NOT laugh at yourself.  People see this as painting a target on yourself and will only escalate it.  People's real friends don't make fun of themselves, only 'nice' loosers.  I've seen this advice given over and over, believe me the people saying 'laugh at yourself' just want a reason to laugh at you; they already despise you.   Don't make social mistakes or be akward; adults your age already know how to behave and if you goof off people will immedately write you off.  People are told to 'expect the best', and don't have time for social idiots who don't know how to act in public.   And for God's sake, DON'T MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.  People will see you as a souce of entertainment to amuse them and not a friend.  Only people who want others to like them try to make people laugh, these people are written off very quickly. 

The above advice is all conventional b.s. that anxious akward people are told by socially sucessful people.  Sucessful people really don't know how social success happens.  Socially akward people should just give up and resign themselves to a life of isolation.  Nobody has any time for people who obviously didn't learn what they should have in school, everybody has their own problems.