How do I become more confident?

Question

I sometimes find myself backing out of situations and sometimes avoiding situations completely..i find it hard to socialize sometimes too..please help!

Answer 1

i know i am the same way kinda. its just hard finding the right people to click with. try and go out to public venues that have your interests, talk to people (even if it is some random comment) and see what happens

(Worked For Me)

Answer 2

See site below for help with that.

Answer 3

Actually your subconscious plays a big part of your confidence. If you keep having negative thoughts about yourself (IE: "I'm Ugly" " I'm Stupid" "I can't do it") it will affect your consciousness and affect your confidence.

What you tell yourself affects your image of yourself. Even if you really aren't that great (which I doubt) have a little bit of delusion. Be a little bit full of yourself. It's not BSing yourself, it's actually believing in yourself even if most people differ in your opinion (The f*&# with them, seriously). Trust me, take that first step if you really want to change, it works wonders.

Number one confidence builder, be positive about yourself and believe in yourself. And yes, love yourself.

Here is how to love yourself:

Don't put yourself down, never.

Tell yourself that you can, that you are great, fill your brain with positive images of yourself, even if at first you don't really believe them, just keep telling yourself good stuff about you and don't ever stop. If you stop, then I'm sorry to say, but then you will deserve to have low confidence (of course, you will have your downs, this will happen many times, but don't get stuck in it, always get on the positive bandwagon again and again). This is important. Your mind affects your reality.

If you feel sad or bad, find something to get you out of that feeling, PRONTO!!! (No drugs, Laughter works, find funny stuff to watch, read, or hear)

Don't think pessimistically.

Work out, take better care of your appearance and health. Your body is your only temple in this lifetime, make the best one you can possibly make.

Nurture yourself with knowledge and skills. You gain confidence in being sure of what you are doing. Making mistakes is good too, it gives you experience, so don't feel bad if you F up once in a while.

Socialize more, talk to many people, but surround yourself to good and positive influences. No druggies, people with issues, and sadly but true 'Losers'.

Have better communication with family and existing friends.

And a confidence builder that really has helped me, be humanitarian, help others when you think they may need help, volunteer, get things done (If you see trash in the side walk, do something and pick it up and throw it in the trash can), try to do what you think it's right and good for others.

Answer 4

maybe you just back out of situations that make you feel uncomfortable- that's not a bad thing-its good to be able to discriminate. im sure that when you find people that you feel comfortable with, and they want to do thing that you want to do, the situation will change. don't worry, it will happen.

Answer 5

View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 38, (view page E first) and 9 at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris  Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.

Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.

Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave.      

      People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me".      

      Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind.

Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger.

Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people.

Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk.  

     Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes". Valerian has also been recommended, but some people experience "valerian hangovers". Ensure you know how you react to it, before doing something potentially dangerous, like going out on the roads. The idea is to use the above like water wings, to provide initial, short term support, while you become proficient in the above techniques.

Answer 6

No matter what you face during the day or night--BE CALM and poised. Being such while facing a growing bad situation will allow you to manage fears and give you opportunities for either damage control or finding a sensible solution to avoid disaster.

Failure's biggest shame is failing and walking away from trying again at success when success IS possible.  So what then if you fail a first or subsequent try or tries???  As long as impossibility simply isn't there--get back out and try again.

Confidence grows when you do something and discover that "groove" that not only allows you to do that special something---but find ways to do that thing even better as you continue on.

But confidence, like fear---is wisely handled and managed.  Let go too wild and free, confidence CAN blind you and run you right smack into failure; one that you'll likely be ill prepared to rebound from.

Belive in and respect yourself---and soon, you'll see others will show the same to you.

Answer 7

you have to learn to say ,"stuff you " to certain people and situations and realise that you have a life too.

don`t be afraid of confrontation, if they threaten or assault you then you have every right to take them to court.

you could take up judo or some other type of self defence class, such as boxing or karate ,not to duff people up , but to gain self confidenceand make new friends at the club .

then , if you are threatened you can give them a smart blow up the windpipe and a kick n the nest egg . they wont touch you again .

this world is as much yours as anyone elses, go and enjoy it !!

tony.d

Answer 8

Just be yourself. I had the same problem a few years back. I was overweight and was very aware of the way people viewed me. I lost a few pounds and got to my ideal weight..not ideal to the world but ideal to myself. I was so happy now and have so much confidence and have no problems in social situations. I think the thing to do is accept yourself and not worry what others will think of you.  

Answer 9

Be yourself..

dont worry what other people think of you..

Try not to put yourself down and love yourself. :)

im not saying to be full of yourself and act higher than others -.-

just have enough to not worry about situations like that..

of course, if you know the situation is something that you cant handle or something that you know is not for you, dont take in any peer pressure.. i know its hard

maybe you could try helping yourself from feeling that way by doing something about it..

God loves you