How do I best wash my new garments (it's OK, I'm a man)?

Question

So I bought a new Mambo shirt yesterday and the washing instructions are:

To wash, Mambo recommends soaking this garment in a cosmic bucket two thirds full of mystic crystals (Australian Industry Standard). Soak for 45 minutes then rinse in a gently flowing stream. To dry, wring first in a 'yin' direction followed by a reverse 'yang' twist. Hang between 2 maypoles and dance around garment until dry. For best results, wash only when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter is aligned with Mars.

I eventually recovered from twisting my yang but I suppose my dilemma is to decide what ought I be wearing to do all the dancing. (Should this question be in the spirituality section?)

Answer 1

My suggestion is to wear your naked best, for a full spiritual experience.  

That way all the yin & yang can absorb by osmosis directly through the pores in your skin ... more surface area across which to absorb, more yang (& yin) gets in.

It might also entertain your neighbours, & we can all do with some of that!

Answer 2

Hey just smokes some joints I think before washing & hey man who cares.SOOOO cosmic.

Answer 3

lmbo.......Dude you need to go to another section for this question!!!  

Yin and Yang? most definitely go to another section.

Wear something clean or nothing at all when your washing.  Make sure your clean too.

mm

Answer 4

Well behopes u don't get ur yin and yang directions mixed up coz then instead of mambo shirt u will look more like sambo doing the twist when it unravels LOL ♥