How do I boost my self esteem with my partner?

Question

I think my partner is better than me & i feel like everyone else believes that too. He is overseas now & i get jealous b/c of my low self esteem. It's not like he's given me any reason not to trust him, i'm just insecure. Any ideas how i can think I'm as good as him & deserve to be with him?

Answer 1

Set your goals and then work towards it and master it. Once you achieve your goals...it's home sweet home.

Answer 2

the fact that he asked you to trust him shows that you are worth more than you thought...

try to ask "he deserve to be with you because....(list down your 20 positive qualities)...."

Answer 3

There are two paths to confidence:

The foolish path...which is competence-based. People who derive their confidence from being smart, educated, pretty, athletic, rich, famous, etc. are competence-based...that is, ego-based. And egos are like bubbles and can be popped relatively easily. This is the kind of confidence you have. Even if you gain competence in the things you wanted to do, your ego/confidence can always be popped...and you'd feel insecure.

The wise path is super ego-based...that is, based on choosing to be confident. How can anyone just 'choose' to be confident? Exactly because they are anyone. You see, just being a human means you have tremendous capacity for getting things done. You don't have to be especially good at anything to do great things (e.g., George Bush).  Once you embrace the diviness of being human, you have chosen to be confident.

From there you have to develop your wonderful human mind. Sure that takes a lot of work, time, and sacrifice, but you no longer suffer from doubt (poor self esteem).

By the way, this is what most spiritual leaders really teach (before religious organizations distort their message). Jesus, Buddha, Maharishis, Mohemed, Gandhi and so on were God-realized people...that is, they detatched themselves from man's world (ego, vanity, pride, constantly needing to prove oneself to others) and embraced God's way (super ego, wisdom).

So try it today...try not to prove anything to anyone...not even yourself. This won't automatically make you any better at what you do, but you won't feel bad about yourself. Thus, you will be less distracted, allowing you to more easily reach what athlete's call "the zone", increasing your performance. But even if you don't, so what? Without trying to prove something, you can simply learn from when things don't go your way and improve...no guilt, no stress...just peace and joy (the ultimate in confidence).

Answer 4

Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes,  and tell yourself your as good as him and deserve him, and do this everyday until you realize it's the truth.

Answer 5

Self esteem/confidence are addressed in section 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris  page E first.  Read: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland. CA 94609  http://www.amazon.com/ may be worth trying for this, because it approaches the building of self esteem using a different, but equally valid method.