How do I break up with him? It's complicated...?

Question

I have been dating a guy my age for a year. He has three kids 50% of the time. We moved in together 3 mths ago. I am 26 yrs old and jumped into this relationship too quickly after I got divorced. I know what you're thinking..DUH! Why didn't I take a break instead of jumping into a complicated relationship right away. Well, it's too late for that and now I'm in a bind. The apartment and all the utilities are in my name and I would like to keep the place. One of the reasons I am done with this relationship is because of the anger issues he has. There have been some bad times in the past year, but I was able to overlook them. I tried to break things off this past weekend. This did not go well. It was a gigantic roller coaster. First yelling, then tears, then pleading, then more screaming and this was just him. I need to be on my own for a while. Find out who I truly am. Through the past year I have realized that eventually I would like to have a family. I just am not emotionally strong enough to deal with his ex-wife issues and all three kids. He is going to be mad and I understand that...and the past few days he has genuinely tried to turn things around. Even with his new demeanor and the fact that he now, for the first time ever, is telling me he loves me. He NEVER said or even eluded to it before this weekend. I feel like I am going to crush him, and I don't like hurting people, but I know that I am done with this. I realize that I should have thought of these things before we moved in together, but once again, its all in hindsight. I'm looking for suggestions on how to do this the best way possible...I don't want to find my things broken or my tires slashed out of this. Thanks for your insight....

Answer 1

Get out of this relationship.

He's only acting this way now to try to stay with you. It will end as soon as he sees you cave in & say you'll take him back. Trust.

His anger issues don't bode well for hte future and remember, you moved in with him before he even told you he loved you....

Think about that. And now out of the blue he is randomly saying it.

You know what to do.

Good luck, sister. :)

Answer 2

one thing about a relationship is if you ever see destruction in a man . then it would be best not to get involved with any relationship that's violent . in the future if u ever make a man angry beyond his limit then one day he may hit u . other than that communicate with him about his temper see if he can get therapy to not end it but if ur really fed up then just tell him how u feel and that u still want the place and for him to move out

Answer 3

Have you considered asking him just to move out first?  Tell him you are moving too fast and it's just too much for you.  After he has his own place, breaking up won't be such a demand from both of you.  Also, when it happens, he'll realize he should have seen it coming.