How do I bring out my true self/personality and be relaxed in social situations?

Question

I'm a senior in high school about to graduate and go to college. I've had plenty of social failures in high school and I just want to shed it behind and start a new social life. Basically, in 6th grade I was extremely quiet and I didn't make friends. But in 7th and 8th grade I sort of got in touch with myself and became the extroverted person that I really am. But that's also when people looked down on me and sort of made fun of me because I was "weird" but I still managed to make friends. Throughout high school, hating the weird impression that I got from people, and decided to become more serious and introverted, and from then on I slowly lost my friends and failed to make new ones and I'm completely alone now. How do I become that person without going to the extremes (too weird too quiet)? I also have hard time socializing with "attractive" people...

Answer 1

Do not woryy about what other people think oe even say.  Just be yourself.   Try to be happy in whatever you do.   There is no need to have many friends but it is good to have someone who is a real friend to whom you can talk and confide.  Try to be altruistic and help others.  You can try to involve yourself in some humanitarian or social work especially in some organisation.  That will give you friends.

Answer 2

Stop thinking about making friends and stop thinking about being to weird or too whatever.  Trust me most other people aren't who they pretend to be either. if you feel like going up to someone and talking to them go ahead.  If u feel really outgoing one day just be yourself.  Do whatever you feel like doing and dont worry about what others are saying about you because people will always talk.  I have always been quiet and reserved.  It is who I am.  I ddont trust people so I dont care to make friends, but I have never not had friends.  People will come to you, but if you are not urself the people you have around you dont really like you.  They like who your are pretending to be and that will always backfire.

Answer 3

Well, college will be different.

All (or mostly) new people, who don't know any of your reputations.

And the social climate is completely different than high school. Students are grown-ups, not kids. It isn't about popularity (in the high school sense) and cliques, and stereotyping everyone.

Being "weird" isn't a minus (depending on what you mean by that exactly).

So most likely it will all work out just fine for you.

All freshmen are in the same boat -- it's new for everyone; no one has friends when you all arrive.

Everyone is more noisy sometimes and more quiet other times. People who vary in how noisy or quiet they are give an overall impression of neither.

So, don't TRY FOR an effect. As you've seen making a conscious effort to change how you appear to others doesn't work out well.

When you get there, take some time to suss things out. Be pleasant to everyone, but don't go overboard to be outgoing or quiet -- be both, to some degree, as appropriate.

Over time you'll make friends. Focus on classes first, and friendships second.

It really is different from high school.

Answer 4

To bring out your true personality in social situations requires that you know it. Once you know it, emphasize certain aspects of it [ like make a few jokes, witty remarks, etc.] Alright then relax, everyone in college is in the same situation as yourself. New everything, it might actually make it easier to make friends.

Dont sweat the small stuff, if you dont care about that mustard stain on your shirt no one else will.

And start small. Ask for a pencil, then have a meaningless convo, then one about similar interests, and so on.

Answer 5

The best thing you can do for learning how to be social, is just get out and start talking and hanging out with people. People will always talk bad about other people that they don't know or don't like, you can't let that get to you. Even the most liked person in any school has people who talk bad about them. You just have to find friends that you can trust, or a social setting you are comfortable in. Try experimenting going out to clubs, bars, talking to random people in the mall, share stories with people at your school or job.

Attractive people are basically the same as anyone else. Only some have slight egos but they are still the same to talk to. Just don't think of them in any manner just think of them as another person.