How do I build self-esteem?

Question

I'm 19 years old and I feel worthless. I'm not smart, pretty, or interesting, I feel as though I have no redeeming qualities. No one appreciates me, my parents abandoned me, I live with my grandparents and I know that I am a burden to them. The few friends I have haven't talked to me since the beginning of summer, I've never had a boyfriend.

Some people have worse circumstances yet they are still able to smile and have good self-esteem. My low self-esteem is keeping me from being happy and accomplishing what I want. Does anyone have any tips and advice. Thanks in advanced.

Answer 1

Ok- take it slow.  

Make a list of things you like about yourself.  Make a list of things you like to do.  Make a list of things you are good at (can be as simple as making mac & cheese).  Then concentrate on these things.  Find things- even the smallest - that make you happy.  Also, try new things at time.  You may find you are good at something you never even tried!

Make new friends- or reconnect with the old ones.  True friends will take you back!  Boyfriends are great- but not necessary- find yourself- use this time to discover who you are and then worry about having a boyfriend.

And I doubt you are a burden to your Grandparents.  I am sure they didn't plan on raising another child- but I am sure they got pleasure out of it.  They are just old.

Another thing- read books, go to museums, watching interesting shows on the history channel and just pick up random knowledge.  Most people aren't smart.  

Pretty- you are being critical on yourself- we all do that.  Try new make up techniques...get a new haircut/color...buy some new clothing items and spruce up your wardrobe.

You are just having a first quarter century life crisis.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, feeling that way makes you give off a vibe that makes other people see you that way--vicious downward spiral. But since you get out of life what you put into it, there is a way to make things better. People are universally mostly concerned with their own issues which is why they don't seem to notice you as much as you'd like. The secret isn't to make yourself more interesting or beneficial to be around. The secret is to take more honest interest in what's going on in other people and their lives. Listen to them and show them how important they are and they will be drawn to you like a magnet and then you will find what you have to offer.  

Answer 3

You could google a short piece called Desiderata & read it - it should help you a lot with these issues. With very best wishes. UK