How do I come to terms with my sister's addiction to cocaine?

Question

My younger sister (23 years old) has always been a master manipulator and has had trouble with addiction in the past. She is diagnosed with bipolar disorder which goes untreated. She seeks no help from doctors. My family has tried to intervene and even given her chances to clean up and get sober. She would be sober for a few months, then crash and the whole process would start over.

Recently I found out that she's been hiding a cocaine habit and although it sounds cliche, I know it is definitely influenced by her chosen career path as a stripper.

I have read other posts about "how to help my friend with their cocaine habit", etc... but other than letting her hit rock bottom or waiting until she realizes she's wasting her life and wants to clean up, what the h**l am I supposed to do.... just forget about it? She seems so proud of herself to be this person who can get everything she wants or needs by manipulating people. I really would like to have solid answers from people with direct experience with how they personally have delt with a family member's addiction and what the outcome was (good or bad).

I just want to know what it is that I'll be up against since I haven't had to deal with her addictions on this level.

Answer 1

I have friends who are bipolar and yes, they can have problems with substance abuse.

Your sister needs professional help. Seek out faith-based groups, they can be of great help to your sister and you.

I am definitely touched by your concern for your sister. If she is really manipulative as you say, then its time to seek professional help to manage your sister's substance abuse.

Before she harms others and harms you.

Answer 2

My heart goes out to you! My brother died at age 37 from his addiction. It was always the same thing; get busted-go to prison-get out of prison-swear he's gonna do life right-get high again & start the whole cycle again,...

You can try alanon or naranon for yourself (see if you pick up a few clues on how to deal with the pain etc.) I admit it was not much help for my family other than teaching us the concept of tough love. The best we could ever do was let my bro know that he was loved but we did not approve of the drugs, booze, & destructive lifestyle. We said more than our share of prayers for him & now that he is gone I can honestly say that it's a bit of a relief that he is no longer suffering.

your sisters manipulative behaviour is a huge part of the addictive nature. addicts are self serving individuals who have or will give up their morals just to get high. if your sis wants to get clean, it is possible! there are resources (like narcotics anonymous) available free.

Go to na.org for information on NA, including a link to find local meetings.

Answer 3

Just be there for her when she does hit rock bottom.  And don't let her manipulate or use you for her habit.  You will have to give her tough love by not helping her live the druggie life she is leading.  Cocaine is more important to her than her family is right now.  It's like drugs turn people into monsters.  If she goes to jail don't bail her out, don't give her money, and don't let her steal from you.

Realize that you have a life to lead too and don't let her situation take over your entire world.  You love her but you can't fix her life for her.  No you won't forget your sister but for now you have to wait and hope.

Yes I've had experience with this and it was when I finally refused to be used and let them get into all kinds of trouble that everything got better.

Best wishes to you and your sister!

Answer 4

The hardest part of this for you is standing by and being powerless.

It is true that you have to let her hit rock bottom all on her own. The reality is some survive and some don't and the bigger reality is, there is nothing you can do about HER addiction.

I know that is not what you want to hear, but its what you have to face.

I will tell you that you can have power over your feelings in all of this... by getting support from others in the same boat as you.

Call your local Narcotics Anonymous (if you can't find them in the phone book, call Alcoholics Anonymous) and ask for the support group for families. There you will find people that really get where you are and can help you get through this. These groups are really understanding and non judgmental...as well as confidential. Bring your parents too if you can.