How do I confront my issues with my Mother?

Question

I have some serious issues with my Mother. To shorten things a bit: She's had screaming rage since I was pottytraining (I remember), there were/are NO ROOM for mistakes. Her patience it ZERO, and she will attack anything in her sight if she is the slightest bit irritated. I am almost 28. She does nothing but sleep for days at a time, only to wake to eat cookies/bearclaws/soda or to pee. If she has to babysit her grand-children, she will happily (to their face) say yes, and then ***** the entire time they are here, because they are playing with the cats toys, and they aren't for children. She will scream at a 5 month old to shut up (i've heard her) and argue with a 5 year old about their opinions if they do not agree with hers, because no one is allowed to have their own opinion, if you dissagree, you are wrong, even with the mentalility of a 5 year old. I have to live here for awhile longer (just got divorced) and cant afford to live on my own. I am at my wits end, and I really think that when I move out, I will sever al ties. I cannot stand her bitchy attitude, screaming, hatefull look, and sleeping for 4 days at a time. She's retired, so she does nothing all day. I keep my room clean, keep the kitchen clean, and buy all the food, and pay for some of the utilities, she doesnt want me to pay rent, just help out. My 2 brothers feel the exact same way, but none of us know what to do. She always flies off the handle at us or her grandkids, then apoligizes later in tears. I know shes depressed, and going through menopause, but she refuses to admit it. I need help/advice, anything.

Example from today: She got snotty and mad because I ate bacon by itself, not in a sandwich or with eggs. I just wanted bacon. She kept asking why, because I know it wont fill me up, so why bother eating it. Then got mad because she assumed I ate all that was left in the fridge, but I didnt, she didnt even bother to ask. She was a ***** for nothing.

I am starting to hate my mother, because I am now old enough to see how she treated me my whole life.

Answer 1

I disagree with the first person to post an answer. Just because she is your mom it does not give her the right to yell and say things like that to anyone, let alone a little child. Whether its menopause, or something else. She needs help. And simply letting her be is not the answers. I would say get yourself financially stable to be on your own very soon. And when you have the ability to leave. Tell her you love her but you simply cannot tolerate her antics. Offer her help. Whether is be counseling or just a family meeting to address the issues. "ignoring" the problem and hoping it will pass generally leads to something bigger. Ignoring is never the way to go when something like the mental health of a loved one is at stake. You may think it is menopause and it could really be some other psychological problem.

Answer 2

My mom is sorta like that but not about things like bacon she just screams a lot and is  always pissed off

Well tell her your not a child and you don't like the way  she treats you and you would like to be treated like the adult that you are and if she don't like it just move(If you live with her)

Answer 3

no matter how bad your mom behaves, she doesnt deserve to be hated.....

your mom didnt treat you bad when you were little coz if she did, you wouldnt be here today and even if you are, you wont be as mentally/psychologically fit as you are now....

you've already identified the problem- she's depressed and going through menopause so it doesnt matter even if she refuses to admit...

they use to say that you would be when you are elderly, they way you were when you were a youth...

it might be frustrating but hard as it may be, you have to learn to ignore these and hope that it will be over soon and she's just passing through a phase....

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