How do I control the constant nagging and fighting.?

Question

My kids are 11months apart (boy four, girl 3). All they do is fight and nag when I am around. I work almost 7 days and it drives me crazy the constant fighting and nagging. This only happens when I am around. At school they get along and never nag, same at mums and when my husband is at home. What can I do to control this.

Answer 1

it sounds like they are trying to get your attention just start having special mommy and kids time with them (reading a book, watching a show with them or just playing and talking about your day) - it should help a lot

Answer 2

Tell them that if they can't play nicely they will have to do quiet activities alone, and tel them if they are fighting over something then you will take it away and they will both loose it for a week.  When they start to fight tell them stop fighting or they will be separated, if they don't stop, stick to your word and take what they are using away and move them to separate  rooms/ areas of the room with a book or coloring book or a small quiet to to play with alone, don't let them choose what they are going to use though-just give them something to keep them occupied.  After a little while alone tell them if they can play nicely they can be together again, but if they even start to argue they will play alone for the rest of the day.

Answer 3

Know when to back off and when to intervene sometimes it's great for kids to try to work things out on their own but most of the time they may need your help like taking toys away if they are fighting over them also try playing with them and teaching them how to play together respectfully.

Answer 4

there can be no victor in an empty field.

Sounds like you are too involved in their fights.

It's so hard to disengage when they are at aech other's throats or nag nag nagging you.

The thing is to have your boudaries or limits.  State them and stick to them. NEVER vary from them.  say something if you mean it and can stick to it....otherwise don't say it.  And if you do say something is gonna happen, or a consequence will be something or other....you HAVE to carry it through.

This requires you to think ahead and plan.  Start with ONE thing that you want to change and get clear about it and state it and stick to it.

It's not easy, and giving in can seem easier at the time, but in th long run, being FIRM CONSISTENT and REASONABLE will give the message that you mean what you say and nagging and fighting will NOT get the result THEY want. good luck.

Answer 5

Try to tune out the nagging, the kids are after your attention any way they can get it. Leave the room, lock yourself in the toilet etc. Also tell them that if the fighting doesn't stop then the fun and exciting thing you had planned wont happen. Reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad. Try to take them out to a movie, go to the park, even go out for ice cream, feed the ducks at the local park, drive somewhere fun, museum etc. You don't have to do something every day, but if you have something picked out with the kids for once a week then you can use it a leverage for better behaviour.

Answer 6

they do it for your attention and you respond.  rethink your technique with them.  allow only nice words and quiet voices -otherwise you will ignore them.  speak to them in the same manner and spend more time listening.

Answer 7

wow, lol Sounds like my situation, Mine are 11 months apart too, and boy is 4 in Sept, Girl 3 in Sept.

Although, mine get along pretty well, Dont get me wrong they have their tiffs, but usually they just get into alot of S**t together, thats my main problem lol

Answer 8

I have had this problem before aswell, and i know how frustrating it can be.

My kids ( 6, Jack and 4, Leila ) often didn't get along when i was around. In my case i found it to be a case of Attention seeking from both of them. I then came to the conclusion that the children were bored. Get them entertained  with everyday objects around the house ( Make craft objects from used materials, e.g Toilet Rolls) This gave the kids a hand on activity which they thoroughly enjoyed. When doing this, make the children work together. Communication between them is also important. I found these few things to work...

So, get the kids active in the household, it gets them involved and they will soon come to love each others company.