How do I convince her an eating disorder is not the way?

Question

My friend has lost a bit weight and is starting to look quite sick; pale, tired and just ill. I came close to having to be admitted to hospital because of bulimia but I'm eating properly now, it makes me feel terrible to look at pictures of myself when I was sick. My friend confided in me, telling me she hates her weight and body and would do anything to become anorexic.

I don't know what to do, I can't force her to go to the hospital and when I was sick, the last thing I wanted was loads of attention and pity. What can I do to show her that this really isn't the way?

Please help, I'm really worried.

Answer 1

Share to her your experienced with such condition, tell her that such things will just ruin her life. Convince her to see a consultant whom can help her determine her condition.

Answer 2

All you can do at this point is be supportive and try to gently get to what is making her feel bad about herself. Her body image is distorted, but it doesn't stop there. Her self confidence is very low, or non existent at this point. You need to encourage her by focusing away from her weight. Compliment her on other things, or just point out how she is loved and appreciated for other things in her life, and by many people. If she is truly anorexic, that means that almost every other area of her life is so out of control (or it feels to her like they are out of control), she feels the only thing she can control at this point is her weight. Getting to the bottom of what made her feel like the rest of her life is out of control is key to treating anorexia. Is she seeing a therapist? if so, is the therapist specialized in eating disorders? Maybe after talking to her for a while, and if she trusts you, you can suggest she start seeing a therapist. If you make this suggestion to her, be careful to do it in the context of the other things that are troubling her, and focus away from her weight.  

Answer 3

Hum?  She is unhappy with herself because she feels the world is judging her on her appearance.  So, first of all, stop judging her appearance.  Find a way to help her feel good about herself without criticizing or focusing on with or without food.  Listen to Karen Carpenter's music.  A beautiful girl who allowed the opinions of others distort her self image to the extent that bulimia killed her.  Love, laugh and enjoy every second you get.

Answer 4

Firstly I am  sorry about your friend and you are right she wont want to listen, I am not being unsympathetic but you need to watch you do not fall back into your eating habit. I know you say you are better but eating disorders are like any other addiction once faced with the past it can set you back , don't want you to start thinking about the buzz you got being in control when you were ill, please put yourself first and if you can help your friend that is great . Well done for getting your life back on track.

Answer 5

This set of articles has much more to offer than I:

What Is Behind Eating Disorders? :

- When Food Is Your Enemy

- Anorexia and Bulimia---The Facts, the Dangers

- What Causes Eating Disorders?

- Eating Disorders--What Can Help?  

http://watchtower.org/e/19990122/article...

Maybe if you print out a copy of them, she will read them, especially if you just leave them somewhere that no one will see her read them...  But, therer are points that may help you in dealing with her, too.  Check this out, too:

When Someone You Love Has a Mental Disorder... http://watchtower.org/e/20040908/article...

Answer 6

hey your friend needs help..i had to be admitted to the hospital for a ED and its hard..your friend needs to get help before she ends up in the hospital on bed rest,like i di, no fun, and she needs to see how bad this can be please talk to her, nobody should go through this and when your so lost your not radcinal..i thought it was normal to eat just a bowl of cereal and exercise 5-6hrs a day..then i end up in the hospital on bed rest and spent a month their..just tell her this one thing i learn from my dietians a calorie is a calorie, it doesn't matter where its from..also fatty foods have bad rept because they don't fill you up and fat has more calories for a gram the protein or carbs..so they eat more and go over calories needs..also tell her this i ate 3300 calories a day with only 1/2 hr of exercise and i gain .3 oz that is nothing

Answer 7

Tell her she is not thinking clearly and is not seeing herself the way she really is. Be gentle with her but truthful.

Then challenge her to become as healthy as she possibly can, not as thin.

Get into some athletic activities together.  

Answer 8

The first thing you need to do is let her know that you're worried. See this question you wrote to all of us? It's proof that you care what happens to her and that you'd do anything to keep her safe. All that stuff you told us is what you need to tell her. That you're worried, and when you had a similar problem you realised that it wasn't worth it. Unfortunately, you can't MAKE her eat or MAKE her get better, but the best thing she needs right now is some support and self confidence.

Good luck to you and her. =)