How do I convince my 9 year old son to join the gifted program???

Question

So here is the sitch...

Last year at his first conference we were told that he is ahead in math and reading by about 3 grades and I was so excited at that time I called the school to inquire about the gifted program, they said they evaluate at the end of each year but I could request to have him evaluated if I wanted to... so I spoke to him and he says no way, I told him it was to keep him from getting bored and he says he doesn't want to be different... so this year instead of working ahead of his class he finished his work and complete huge book series in his free time, he just finished the last harry potter book yesterday it took him about 8 weeks :)

Anyway a few minutes ago the shool called and now they are asking him to be in the gifted program, it's not me this time it is "the call" from them... he will be home in about an hour and I need sit him down and talk to him about it again and try to convince him to do this willingly, I will not force him too...

Nicci

Answer 1

tell him if he doesn't... his leg will fall off

Answer 2

You might be putting too much pressure on him.   Just treat it as though it's cool, it's ok to be different.  

P.S. Take him out to ice cream and I'm sure that will "soften" him up.  If you must convince him, talk to him about the rewards he'll get in life, how important education is, getting scolarships for college, etc.  Tell him if you could do it over again, you'd choose to be in the gifted program, but that you won't force him (and stick to your promise).

Answer 3

My son is the same. He has no interest whatsoever in being in the gifted program. On the flip side... I know kids who are in the gifted program because their parents made them and feel like they are being punished for being so smart, always having so much extra work than the other kids. Its a toughie. Good luck and congrats on having a smart kid! :)

Answer 4

Hey, you're the parent, aren't you?  You don't convince him what he's doing at this age you tell him what he's doing!  Geesh all these little 'snowflakes' doing what they want to do, rather than have parents that actually parent!

Answer 5

Make it seem like a solution to a problem of his. I am in the gifted program and I <3 it! Everyone I know wants to be in it.  Just sit him down and say, "Guess what, ________! We found a program that will help you learn more stuff! The school thinks you are extra special, and that you deserve better than the class that you are in now! It's a very big honor to be in this class! Isn't that great?"

Answer 6

I bet you are so proud of him and excited that he was accepted by the program but you need to try to step back and let him choose. Just ask him if he wants to join. If he doesn't want to then don't make him. He may be content with not being challenged and there is nothing wrong with that. He probably enjoys the free time and the easy work. Let him be a kid.

Answer 7

Sometimes kids just don't want to be different from their peers. he probably thinks the "gifted" is not for cool kids. he doesn't really understand.

It could be that in his mind, it will mean more work, and harder work! What kid would want that? he is enjoying school the way it is now, and doing just fine, correct?

Maybe you shouldn';t push it just now.

Is this about parents or about the student? We all want out kids to succeed. I'd hate to see him forced into something he really doesn't want to do. My girls were top spellers, but they just would never enter the spelling bee- they hated the attention! I would get so irritated. So maybe he's afraid it might cause him to get alot of attention,.

Or, you could suggest he try it and then if he just hates the program, he can quit. That gives him an out, and he might be more willing to try it.

The school counselor might have some ideas for transitioning him into the new classes too.

Answer 8

My daughter goes to a gifted program.  She was enthusiastic the minute it was mentioned because she was bored.  My son is also gifted but had no interest in switching schools.  He is in his first year of college now on a four year tuition scholarship that he earned by working hard in high school.  Don't pressure him.  No matter which program he is in, the end result will be a smart boy.  He will just be better adjusted if you allow him to make the decision.  Besides, there is always the chance for him to enter the program when he's older if he is ready.  If he isn't, it's his education and we moms sometimes have to step back a little earlier than we'd like.  Don't try to convince him for you.  Be his cheerleader but don't be his boss on this one - he will only regret the choice and fail because he will miss his friends and won't want to do the extra work that a gifted program requires.  My daugher is a tough one and doesn't let others influence her, but I'll tell you - the gifted program kids are at a bigger DISadvantage because of jealousy and ill will.  My son is happy he never got involved in that.

Answer 9

I'm in the gifted program, been since 3rd grade (that's 5 years now!) 3rd grade was the earliest they let us in...we tested in 2nd grade.

We get a TON of projects, but most of them are fun and give us a chance to be creative. A lot of websites are blocked in middle school, but my Humanities teacher is getting our school computer account upgraded to a master account :D The gifted kids usually band together, and there's 32 of us -- we have a pretty tight group of friends. It's true that some kids make fun of the gifted ones, but the fun is worth it!

I'm in gifted classes all day, except for lunch and special areas. We have more chances to use our talents, which is more interesting. The teachers are understanding and give extra help if needed, and it's a lot more personal of an experience. I wouldn't quit for anything!

I would tell your son the details, explain that he will still see his friends (because they will usually pull them out for reading and math, about 2 or 3 hours total), and then ask what he thinks. Explain that he will still be eligible for the program in all his years of school if he doesn't think he's ready yet. Don't force him into this - trust me, if he knows that you accept whatever he wants to do, he will be more likely to willingly test.

Answer 10

look if your son wants to be in the gifted program just ask him he would like to be in it.don't make him be in it kids can be mean and make fun of him for being a geek just for being in gifted classes just ask him and try to explain it to him what it is about.

Answer 11

The best way is to figure out if any of his friends are also going to be in it.  It's pretty hard to convince a kid to leave all his friends in the other class.

You could also call the school and find out if the gifted class takes more field trips than the other classes or has anything particularly neat planned.

I'm glad to hear that you're not going to force him, because my particular opinion is that elementary school is too early to put a whole lot of pressure on a kid, especially if he's already doing well with homework and tests.  After all, the longer he LIKES school, the better he will do in the long run.

Answer 12

He is afraid if losing his friends and becoming the "nerd". Let him know that's not going to happen. He will still see his friends all the time, and be able to play and do everything he does now. Remind him that next year he will be in a whole new class anyway and his friends may not be there. Make sure he knows that this class is no different then any other, and no one will treat him any different. Let him know it is his decision, and no matter what you won't be mad.