How do I cope with the loss of a relationship with a child I am very close to?

Question

I have been babysitting this little girl every weekend for nine months and am EXTREMELY close to her. I thought I was also very close to her family, but suddenly they told me they want some separation between their personal life and their daughter's daycare (which I work at) and won't be needing me anymore. They don't even want me spending time with her without babysitting--they just want their personal life and their daughter's daycare life to be completely separate. They both said very adamently that it has NOTHING to do with me, and I believe them, but it still really hurts.

How do I cope with losing this relationship? I still get to see the girl at work, but I don't work WITH her and it's just not the same as spending every weekend with her. It hurts so badly. How do I cope and move on?

Answer 1

You think about the great times you had together.  Have faith that you have had a positive impact on her life and hope she'll always remember you fondly.

Answer 2

it sounds like you made a friend.  unfortunately you are not the same age, and the parents have a responsbility to care for their children.  you have the same responsibility, but only in the specific place where you are a daycare worker.

i would suggest you enjoy the time you have and be the best friend you can be.  Do you have siblings?  A boyfriend?  Girlfriends?  it does sound like you have become emotionally dependant on this child and that is not going to work for you in the long run.  it could even be detrimental for the child.  focus your attention elsewhere, there are other children.  become a big sister.  spend time with your own family's children.

I don't mean this in a critical way: you need to be in charge of your life and your emotional needs.

it is not mature to become emotionally dependant on someone who is not old enough to make her own decisions.

Answer 3

I think the parents wanted to seperate you from their daughter because they realize that you are becomming to attached to their daughter.  It is that obvious just from reading your question.  I think they are a little worried about the attachment that you have formed.  I wouldn't be surprised if they remove her from the daycare or if they speak to your boss regarding this so be prepared,

The attachment that you have formed with this child is not healthy.  Yes we tend to care for the ones we care for and want no harm to come to them etc.  But when we are in a babysitting situation or a daycare situation we dont form the extreme bond that you have formed.  I think that you are using this child as a replacement for something that you may have lost.  I don't know what because I don't know you.  But that is not healthy for you or the child.

Answer 4

I think that this parents also have noticed this bond you have created with their child. And since you are not related to them and their child,but were introduced in her life as a babysitter, they might not be comfortable with this relationship you've created and feelings you have for their daughter. They might feel threatened and dislike the idea that she might bond with you any further,since they have no intention of having you as a part of their private life,and you are a bit too old to simply be a child best friend.

Answer 5

I hope these parents realize they may be harming their child as well. in this case I'm not sure hte parents know what is the childs best intrest. remember it's not your fault and try to maintain what is left of the time you have to spend. this won't be the last situation like this. you seem like a careing caregiver, keep up the good work.

Answer 6

This IS a loss for you and I feel so glad you can verbalize it.

I dont know how YOU deal with loss but the most important thing I can think of for dealing with ANY loss is by talking about it with someone who respects you, someone who is willing to sit with you as you grieve the loss.  Next, make a list of all the "gifts" you got from this relationship and the ones you gave.  This will help you focus on the goodness of the relationship.  Finally, cry, cry, cry...loss hurts....know that the feelings will pass.  HUGS