How do I cut the cord and let him grow up?

Question

My son is 11 and just started middle school he's always been my baby and today when I took him to school I stayed to help him check in and walked him to his class, ok actually I tagged along with him to his class because I felt like I was a ghost. And his teacher didn't even say hi she looked at me like I was stupid, he was even making plans to walk 6 blocks from the school to the store. What just happened he just grew up and tossed me in the brushes over night? Luckily I have a 2yr. old who still needs boo hoo without my kids I'm nothing.......

Answer 1

Ask yourself this, how many other parents did you see doing the same?  Also, kids are cruel to each other in school, did you forget?  What do you think the "bullies" will do to your son after you go away?  And do you really think he will ever have a girlfriend now?

Yes you are a dip

Answer 2

I suggest you start creating an identity that doesn't include your kids.  They will grow up and when they do, you will be at loose ends.  I'm sure "...without my kids I'm nothing..."  is a bad place to be when they are starting their own lives separate from yours.   So start exploring yourself and finding things you're interested in.  It will help you enjoy life later.

Answer 3

without your kids you are someone.   time to start getting to know yourself again.  

my son starts school in 2 days. i have the day off so i can take pictures.  i plan to watch him at the bus stop, then wave byebey.  

don't follow your middle schooler to class.  grant him a few freedoms thats appropriate for his age.  he can find his class without you.  

Answer 4

well from now on baby your 2 yr old instead of your son. i mean still treat him like he's a child, but please...in middle school it's really embarrasing when your mom goes directly to his first class and drops im off. don't do that, drop him off at school, but don't escort him to class. let him hang out with his friends, but make sure he has a cellphone so you can call him to check how he is, but dont overdo the calling. be involved in his life, from here on guide him but don't baby him. although im not saying you shouldn't be affectionate, still tell him that you love him and hug him, call him nicknames, make his fave foods, but dont be possesive. because that's how your acting i think possesive. let him slowly spread his wings and fly, but guide him, dont pull him down. hope i helped.

Answer 5

I know what your going threw, been there.  My oldest is a boy, he will be 18 in just a couple of weeks.  I have struggled threw every new stage from sleepovers, to going away to camp, and yes him not wanting Mommy to go into school with him on the first day anymore.  I was aloud to drop him off but that's it, not even anymore kisses goodbye. And yes it was the middle school age when that started. (our 1 daughter hit this stage last school year, and Daddy is having a harder time with it than I am this time around) And once you get past this stage, sorry to say there's more to come.  The first girlfriend, not wanting to do things with you as often, wanting to be with friends more than home, s*x (uuuggghhh that was a big one), and next ting you know he will be graduating High School and starting college.  That's where we are now.  You just take it a day at a time and take your cues from him.  I could always tell when my son wanted me there for things(re: soccer games, concerts, taking pictures before dances, proms etc), and he talks to me still about most things (even somethings I really don't want to hear about, but I don't discourage him either).

Does he have a cell phone? Even before we got one for our son, we made him check in every couple hours either by stopping home, or calling from where ever he was. And we made sure we met at least one of the parents of each of his friends, and was never aloud to hang out at a friends unless at least one parent or adult was at home.

You'll find your way threw it. And never think you are nothing, one thing you will always be no mater what is a Mom.  Your kids will never stop needing you.  You are a strong woman, you brought two children in to this world, you can do anything.  Go back to school, take some classes, What have YOU always wanted to do?  Volunteer at a youth center, a hospital something like that.  I don't have to work , but I got a part time job doing something I enjoy (working with flowers). It has helped me focus on myself, but still leaves time enough for my kids.  

Answer 6

imagine being him

would you want ur mom to folllow you everywere like ur work?

Answer 7

My 6 year old didn't want me to walk in to school with her the other day. *tear* They grow up fast these days. Better to let them have some independence now. Maybe they won't be the 20-somethings still living with Mommy! I don't know that I would let me 11 year old walk 6 blocks to a store though. Too many pedophiles and other weirdos just waiting for parents to let their guard down. Good luck!