How do I deal with a bossy roommate?

Question

I live in a 4-bedroom shared apartment where each roommate has their own separate lease. All four of us get along great, but one of the other roomies grew up an only child, and as a result is very spoiled and controlling. She's also a neat freak (the other 3 of us aren't exactly pigs, but we aren't nearly as bad as her), and takes it upon herself to dictate who's turn it is to do which chores in the house. And anytime she does a chore herself, she mutters under her breath that she's 'the only one who does anything around here'.

There's really nothing she can do if we say no, but the third roommate is her best friend from high school (who isn't home often enough to be asked to clean) and the fourth roommate is like her little puppy dog who'll do anything she says.

It's irritating, because I refuse to be her slave, but she's so spoiled that she doesn't know how to handle being told 'no'. She really has the advantage here, because I'm afraid that if I try to tell her to f*** off, then she'll turn the other roommates against me and I'll be stuck living as the odd man out for the next year.

Anyone got advice?

Answer 1

gang up on her or start a rumor

Answer 2

Yes, the key is not to tell her to F--- off.  You can, however, remain calm and tell her, at a moment when she is telling you what to do, that if you wanted someone to boss you around you would still be living with your parents.  On the flip side, she might have a point.  Do you ever clean up the kitchen or take out the garbage, clean a toilet or vacuum on your own?  If yes, then feel free to list those things off to her the next time she starts bossing you around - again, in a calm voice.  Say, "gee, I did this, this, this and this this week, but right now I need to relax/read/go somewhere".  Be kind to her, but be firm that you will not have another person tell you what to do.  Volunteering to clean on your own here and there - just a couple of small things - will go a long way to help calm her obviously dramatic nerves.  

Also, be glad there are four of you.  These things always have a way of working themselves out.  It will be okay - even if you are the odd man out next year.  There are plenty of roommates out there who don't want to tell you what to do.  May I suggest living with boys next time?  They make the BEST roommates, hands down.  Good luck!