How do I deal with a jealous cousin?

Question

I'm 19 and shes 22/23 (something like that) and whenever I see her at family gatherings and what not, she makes these little snide comments about stuff I do or what I wear in ways that if I tell someone else about it, would seem like nothing. It annoys the h**l out of me, and what annoys me more is that I just let it slide.

She has always been jealous of me or that's why I think she may be being this spiteful.. but this time I think she took it too far.

She told my friend who's also her cousin (but not mine) not to talk to me because I've 'gone weird' apparently. The only conclusion I can come to as to why she said this, is because she may be jealous of mine and his friendship since we do talk practically everyday.

I don't understand why she thinks she has to jeopardise my relationships with other people since I have never said anything to anyone about her, never got myself involved with anyone she knows nor tried to turn anyone against her.

I really want to confront her about it in front of anyone next time I see her, just so I can put an end to this once and for all. Do you think this is a good idea? and If not, what should I do?

Answer 1

Actually, it sounds to me like she's a very insecure person (not necessarily jealous).  In order to build up her own self esteem, she needs to put others down.  You getting riled up about it is just icing on the cake to her.

My suggestion would be not to confront her about it, which will only escalate the situation.  Take the high road, be the bigger person, and just ignore her behavior.  She will eventually get bored with not getting a reaction from you and move on.  And believe me, other people see exactly what she's doing and how she is, and will respect you more for not calling her out on it.

Hope this helps ... good luck!

Answer 2

tell here  them

Answer 3

Let her do what ever she wants.as long as you not doing any thing wrong don't worry.don't even pay attention,even you know act like you don't know.i bet she stop and may be she reallies,how nice my cousin! gentleness and love always win over hate and jealous.don't worry about bad things some one does.pay attention how good you can be!

Answer 4

I feel for you.  I think most everyone has run into a person like that in their lives.  The only thing worse than being around a person like that would be being a person like that.  They make themselves miserable and everyone else around them miserable as well.

But that doesn't help you with your current situation.  I think you are correct that for whatever reason, she is jealous of you.  And what's more, she's a bully.  Nasty piece of work, that girl.

I think you are correct about the confrontation, but I suggest that you think about it in advance and how you want to approach it.  You don't know in advance what the situation will be and how she will react to your saying something, and you don't want to end up on the losing side of a hair-pulling cat fight.  You want to come out of it with the upper hand in dignity and graciousness.  Most of all, you don't want to make a big drama out of it.  My guess is that she is itching for some drama wherein she comes out on top of a competition in which she is the only contender.  Don't give her any bait to bite.  It may take several tries before she gets the message.

Let's just say it goes something like this:  

Cousin (loudly to several people):  I see she's wearing one of her weird outfits again.  God, can't she see how awful she looks.

You, calmly:  What is there about this outfit you don't like?

Cousin:  Blah, blah, blah.

You, calmly:  Well, I'm sorry my clothing upsets/offends (whatever)you.  That was not my intention.

Cousin:  It's not upsetting to ME.  YOU'RE the one Blah, blah, blah.

You:  Well, that's fine with me.  I like this outfit and I promise never to make you wear it.  (And walk away.)

Another way to short circuit her is to greet her first, in a friendly manner.  (You don't have to feel it, just go thru the motions of being gracious.)  Then move on.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Monkey Mom Said it best..... 10 Pts. for her!!!!! Best of luck to you :)

Answer 6

she wants to be your enemy. Pull out your enemy book.