How do I deal with a preschooler who is too bossy?

Question

There is a preschooler (5yrs old) where I volunteer at that bosses everybody around. He loves telling his classmates and even the teachers what to do. For example, if he is playing with a friend at the block center, he would tell him to do this and do that and he would actually control the conversation between them two. I am noticing this from him too often in different types of situations. Can anyone suggest effective approaches for this type of behavior?

Answer 1

Try and let the children work it out themselves. They need those skills for life.  As far as bossing the teachers around you need to tell him, I'm the teacher I tell you what to do, you don't tell me what to do. He needs to have respect for authority. ( big pet peeve of mine with kids)

I think this type of behavior is more annoying to the adults then the children. If the kids don't like it, they just , won't play with him anymore.

Answer 2

IT LEARNS EVERYTHING FROM HOME

Answer 3

It's the attempt to tell authority figures what to do that is the most concerning.

1. Share this knowledge with the parents citing specific instances, if you haven't already. They may be struggling with this behavior at home or they may encourage it (whether they know it or not), but you'll have to find to know exactly how to partner with them to decrease the behavior. This may also give additional details that help you understand the child's behavior. Citing specific instances is important to ensure you don't generalize and put-off the parent.

2. Reward his cooperation, teamwork and sharing in the classroom, no matter how small the instance. Positive reinforcement is often the best way to manage behavior (especially with younger students) because it focuses on directing them toward the right behavior, not focusing on the negative. Instead of saying "don't do ...", you're pointing them toward the right behavior, which is the goal of any corrective action. It's not just about NOT being bossy, it's about getting this child to understand the importance of collaboration and teamwork. This may be challenging at first, but try to catch this child doing something right.

3. Firm, action-based language with clear expectations and a positive tone in a 1-on-1 setting will help manage the behavior in the short-term. "Joey, it's not OK to tell me what to do. I expect that you won't speak to me like that again. If you do, you won't have time with the blocks today." Of course, you have to follow through with your promise of taking blocks away if the behavior continues. Also, this opens of the door to a teaching moment: "Joey, do you know what respect means?" You'd be surprised at what concepts 5 year olds can grasp when explained in simple terms.

Answer 4

I wouldnt' worry about it unless it's upsetting the children that he's bossing around. He might just be the future Donald Trump! YOUR FIRED! LOL

Seriously though. There are leaders and followers. Every child has their own personality. Try to let them work it out. But don't squelch his leadership abilities, Lord knows we need good leaders!

Answer 5

It has to start in the home.

Nothing you do will change this child, yet, unless it is done where it needs to be done.

Answer 6

Don't let him dictate the situation.  Step up for other children and tell him it's their turn to choose.     If he won't let that happen you force the issue.  This is just another type of bullying behavior. Children WILL stop playing with him.  Someone should talk with the parents.

Answer 7

yes, i might have a suggestion for you, it helped with my step daughter, and it put her down a peg or two, The next time you see him do this, , stand there at the black board, And gfive him the chalk, and tell him to take over, Tell the rest of the class, that you are doing a special project, for right now, and that lets play pretend, That He will be a teacher, and you sit down, When things get rough, let him gooo, use a little psychology, I guarentee you nobody is going to listen to him, and even with his rules, no one will listen, And if he yells and screams then stop the project, and tell him, See its hard to be a boss, and to stop, that way it will show him, to slow down a little