How do I deal with my 11 year old daughters friends parents?

Question

I guess not really my daughters friend, but I was asked to be a chaperone on a school field trip and was assigned to three 11 year old girls, my daughter being one of them. The other 2 girls kept making fun and teasing a group of other girls that were minding their own business. After 3 hours of this nonsense, I finally told the girls in my group not to pay attention to those girls and not to say anything if they didn't have anything nice or productive to say. The girl in my group went home and told her mother that I berated and embarrassed her in front of her friends. My daughter comes home and tells me that this girls parents are upset w/ me. I'm sure the parents aren't aware of the entire story and frankly I don't care if these girls are embarrased, they should be if they are behaving in an inappropriate and antagonist manner. I am going to call the mother. How should I approach her?

Answer 1

i would call the parents and tell them the full story so this kid cant twist it anymore. they should believe an adult over a child who is obviously going to exagerate to get out of trouble. if it continues then take it further with the school and maybe the kids teacher or someone, as you done the right thing and you shouldnt be made to feel you done wrong.

Answer 2

I would call the mother and explain the situtation.  If this girls parents have ever been on a school field trip, they know how rough it can be.  Personally I would of done the same thing.  Jus this morning I corrected some kids a the YMCA where my daughter goes.  Just remember it takes a village to raise a child....

Answer 3

I would start out by saying that they where well behaved on the bus (try to start with something nice) but once you got to the location they were acting very rude. After nicely telling them several time to please stop you had no choice but to raise your voice. Explain that the other friends that over heard this, where no more then 3 people. Your sorry if they felt embarrassed, but so where you.

Answer 4

Approach her honestly and objectively. Do not accuse or attack. Do not blame. Only explain your observations and actions. Be gentle and kind.

Allow the other mother to share how she feels. Don't interrupt her. Actively listen to her position. Understand that she's only hearing what her child is telling her, and that she is reacting from this position. The mom protecting the child position. Rather like you are now. Then explain what happened and how you approached it. (Which was fine.)

Do not blow this out of proportion. Mom's tend to do this. We can't help ourselves sometimes. We want to protect the kids.

It's not about being right or wrong. Remember that. It's about making right and being a good steward or guide with someone else's child... which is what you were doing.

If she continues to have an issue with this, it's her problem. Not yours or your daughter's. You'll have to let it go. As for the girls, well, they're 11. It may take a while, but they'll get over it.

Answer 5

These girls were doing what pubecent girls do, you were there to make sure they stayed within the group, didn't wander off and didn't make too large of a spectical of themsleves.  You overstepped your boundaries.  It was not your place to correct someone else's child...you should have spoken to the teacher and let HER handle it.

Answer 6

I'm wondering why you let it go on for three hours? I would explain what happened to the other mother and then let her decide how she feels about it. You might want to give the teacher (who should have been informed from the beginning) a heads up.

Answer 7

Personally, I wouldn't bother calling the mother.

If she isn't bright enough to know that there are two sides to the story, and not assertive enough to approach you herself...that's her problem.

If you call her, you are giving her daughter (and yours) a lot more power than they need.  Kids complain, hop to it!

What you can tell your daughter is that the other parents have every right to be angry because this is America, and we can have any feelings we want.  You can also tell her that it's perfectly fine to tell her friends they are gossiping about their parents, which is not OK with her.  In turn, you tell your daughter that if the other parents have a problem with you, it is up to them to call.  Otherwise, it really doesn't matter to you.

Hang in there.

Answer 8

I would contact the Chaperone of the 3 girls who they were picking on.Tell her that you had to intervene.Would she back you up first. If she is that upset-shewill contact  the school- Contact the school, before she does.Do Not call her.You were the Chaperone, on a school trip.This should not be made personal.You need a mediator-the school.

Answer 9

I would approach it very calmly and nicely. Let her know that your daughter came home and informed you that she had a problem with the way you handled the situation and that you thought you would give her a call to let her know what exactly what happened, how it was handled and what was said. I think that is a very easy way to bring it up.

Answer 10

not enough info.

you should have videoed the event.

Answer 11

Wow if i was in your situation i would have to call up the parents and let them know exactly how there little girl was acting towards the other kids in class .. i think once the mother knows the whole story she would be on your side .. but if she didnt like the way u disiplined her daughter then she should  have been there to do it herself

Answer 12

call

say camley

hello mrs........

on filed trip i saw yuor daughter ...................................

I told her to not do that, my daugther told me taht your daugter told the story differently...............

thankyou for your tim

good luc