How do I deal with my 2 year old son that's constantly slapping and spitting on his daycare teacher?

Question

He does not act like this at home and i've never seen this side of him .

Answer 1

you might take him out of daqy care and switch him somewhere else. maybe he just has a crush on his teacher! lol. but he might just be a little trouble maker. teach him that its bad by sending him in time outs. if he doesnt learn then, i dont know what will teach him. counceling

??????? good luck!

Answer 2

There  is a good chance that he is just not ready for group care situations. And actually, most kids under the age four have difficulty in large group situations fould in day care centers. Day care will not say this, they are in the business of making money. And making mom feel good about leaving the baby. I know these are hard words, put some kids just cannot handle day care. Many centers 'look good' for the parents, but during 'non-parent' times it is downright scary in some places. Turnover is high, and some 'teachers' just don't have  a clue. All the while some kids just act out for attention, they can't adjust to the large amount of kids.   And if this is a small home-type setting, then I would suggest the trouble is at the day care home, and it is time to switch child care.

Answer 3

I am studying Early Childhood Eduction and I would suggest making a chart up and everyday when your son comes home from daycare he gets a sticker if he has been good and at the end of the week if he has 5 stickers he gets a treat for beingso good. Eventually he will totally forget about the "sticker chart"and continue to be good!!!  GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 4

ask him if his teacher or any of the students are teasing him or if anything happend between him and his teacher. because if you never saw him like that at home something is wrong during school. and if nothin is the matter and he is just doin it because he doesnt like his teacher or he or the other students just thinks its funny to do that, punish him and teach him that it is wrong to slap/spit his teacher. everyday try to ask him want is happening and try to bond with him in case he is just lookin for attention.

Answer 5

Make sure that his actions have direct consequences that he can understand such as "If you hit, then you will be in timeout" make sure he knows these boundaries, he will have them for the rest of his life. Make sure the schools discipline philosophy will work with your child, if not you and the school need to work together for your child to have a good experience at school.

You may want to look into why this is happening at school and not at home, it maybe that he is not able to communicate with the teachers. If he gets in trouble at school he may not be able to tell the teacher he is mad so he hits or spits on her.

Answer 6

say if u do this agian ull get spanked or timeout!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(

Answer 7

OK, alot of those previous answers scare me.

I am an early childhood intervention specialist, I have a master's degree and have worked with preschoolers with special needs for 15 years.  I think a key statement in your question is that he does not behave this way at home or at other settings. Makes me think there is something rotten in daycare land.  I go into many daycares as part of my job and I am appalled at they way SOME treat children.  It is not out and out abuse but it certainly is not respectful of children.  Do you have him there for an extensive amount of time?  Some children cannot handle being herded around all day--causes alot of stress and so they lash out.  Does the daycare staff have unrealistic expectations for what a child your son's age can do? Many daycare staff do not have specialized training.

Can you observe without staff and your son knowing?

I am less quick to put the blame on your son-- you may need to find another daycare option.

Answer 8

Maybe he is not getting the attention he needs, or is being flat-out ignored by the teacher. Children know that the fastest way to get attention is to be "bad". I am an in-home daycare provider, and I have one girl I take care of that goes nuts when I am not focused on her directly, such as when I am preparing a meal or changing an infants' diaper. She will throw toys, hit me, hit the wall...just for my attention. I've experimented with different ways of handling this behavior. I've told her "I will be with you in a moment", this did not go over well. I had my mother tell me "The best way to stop bad behavior such as that is to ignore it", so against my judgement, with her mom's permission, I ignored the tantrums. That didn't work, she just got more worked up until she was so violent that she was hurting herself and other children. Then I decided to try to incorporate her into whatever I was doing. I would let her help me with preparing meals, like she could seperate the cheese for grilled cheese or something simple and safe, and she holds the clean diaper for me, unfolds it, too, when I need to change the infant's diaper. That is the only thing that has worked. Suggest to the daycare teacher that your son help out in small ways. Nothing keeps a child's self-esteem up like being wanted to help, and it keeps them busy, and in the case of the girl I take care of, and maybe your son, they don't get upset by being left out of something important.

Answer 9

give him time out or take away  a privalidge such as tv time for an hour or just take away his favorite toys for a little bit

Answer 10

There is something going on at your son's daycare.  It is highly likely that he is being abused or bullied.

Now, if you ask his teacher, she will of course deny any such thing.

Therefore, you need to observe him in this setting for at least two weeks...until the teacher forgets you are there and you can see her real reactions to the kids.

Answer 11

I bet he is one of my kids. Kidding! But as a Pre-School teacher  myself, you need to seriously look at this situation. Is he doing this on a constant basis where it is disrupting classroom activities?  Is he striking and spitting on the other children? Is he given re-direction when he does these things? Is he communicating well with his teachers? Request for a conference with your child's teacher and the director of the day care. I have a child in my class who is three years old and does not speak at all with us. He constantly disrupts the room and hurts all of his "friends". I am not the director of the daycare, only a teacher, but I would love to just tell his mother to simply -- pull him out.  Day care sometimes does not work for some children until they are older (Pre-K age). I have witnessed this with my own eyes. Also, investigate how many children are in your son's room. If there is many children, the teacher's probably are struggling giving adequate attention and that is what your child needs the most. Hope it helps and good luck :)

Answer 12

I don't think its you that needs to do the disiplining in this situation - because you "hear" about it -  but,  you punish him hours later.  that doesn't make sense when you think about it.  So, therefore ,  she has to change something up.

you know when kids that age do something - you think its cute - but,  bratty at the same time?  well -  make sure she isn't laughing at him when he does it.  when kids do things - sometimes you might think its funny - laugh a few times - and then it doesn't end, and it isn't funny anymore.    she needs to start doing timeouts.     and don't try to do the powerstuggles with him.  set him on the couch -  tell him time out -  and if he gets up - set him back up -  total of 2 - 3 minutes per time out for that age.  

and, sounds like she needs to be consistant in the timeouts -   but, like i said -  i don't think its your job to fix it at this point - she needs to change something up in her daycare with him.

Answer 13

You have got some great answers and some terrible ones.  I, too am in education.  If he really does not act out at home like this, there is most likely a problem at school.  Ask to have a conference with the teacher and Director of the Day Care.  Ask the teacher what the consequences are at school.  I have worked in some Pre-School/Daycares, where teachers yell at the kids, or slam them into chairs for time outs.  If she is not handling him correctly, of course he is not going to respect her and is going to act out.  It may not be that severe either, she may not react to it at all.  Remeber, he is just 2 and they will have "tantrums".  Another idea...ask if you can come in for an hour or two and observe.  Maybe sit in the room for a half hour or so, and if he is behaving since you are there, go watch from the next room (if there are windows connecting them) so you can watch your son's behaviors, and also, more importantly, observe the interection between your child's teacher and him.  When you pick him up, linger at the door for a while and watch what is going on!!  

This is a tough Situation!  Good Luck!!  If they do not want to work with you, or you do not feel comfortable, by all means, switch Pre-Schools!!!

Answer 14

you need to take control of your son. you are the parent. teach him obiedience. if he doesnt shape up get bad, i mean dont be sweet you have to unleash your dark side and let him know you are in charge!

Answer 15

Homeschool him. Find a relative to take care of hin that won't put up with his c**p.

Answer 16

He probably does not like his teacher try getting him to another class. Or talk to his teacher and see how he acts around others, how he acts by himself, how he acts w/other teachers, etc... But good luck P.S. Im not trying to sound rude or anything but, if it does not clear up then take him to the doctor to have him tested. (add, adhd, bipolar, etc...)

Answer 17

You have some really good answers so take it all in and follow your gut feeling. And I would agree there is something wrong at the school.

I had similar problems with my boys.  A couple of things to remember .. all kids mature at different rates. One of my boys show similar issues (including biting) at this age because of frustration at school. If your son is one of the oldest in the class (of advanced verbally and his motor skills) he could be board in the classroom. If he is the youngest or delayed he is frustrated.

My other son had milk protein allergies. While it is difficult to diagnose at this age you can try an elimination diet. Milk change his behavior at school to the point of breaking the toilet in the classroom and just causing a lot of trouble. Once it was eliminated he returned to his normal self!

Good luck!

Answer 18

I have to say out of all the answers I've read here, I have to agree completely with Karen C . My first gut reaction when I read your question was "somethings very wrong at daycare". I too feel you need to do some observations without the teachers/aides and your son knowing it.

Answer 19

Hmmm...I agree that some of those previous answers are really not the best way to handle the situation.  

I guess my first response is be very honest with yourself and your child. The two words that stuck out to me is constantly and never.  Maybe the first step to the resolving this situation is to put it in perspective...how often is he hitting/spitting his teacher?  Ask the teacher when he is doing this?  What is happening around him at this time?  Is there a consistent trigger?  Is it only her he reacts to this way?  Is it true that he NEVER does this at home?  If he does, what is the trigger at home?  Most 2 year olds do not have the language to get their thoughts across and become physical.  Set up a conference with the teacher and director, without your son.  Find out exactly what their policies are...especially their discipline policy.  It sounds like to me there is something going on in the classroom.  Does this teacher teach basic sign?  This are very simple signs out there that both the teacher and child can learn and help with getting thoughts across.  

To the responses of...you are the parent...get in control of your child, etc... um...sounds like you have it under control at home.  :-)  Don't place the blame completely on yourself.  Weigh the similarities between slapping and spanking before you choose that route.  Two year olds definately have a hard time understanding "time-out" when used the most common way.  The best bet is to get to the bottom of the situation...there has to be a reason or trigger for it and once it is found then steps can be taken to lessen the trigger or resolve the situation completely.  If this is happening at the center and not at home...disciplining him at home is not going to get you anywhere.  Though 2 year olds are pretty smart...they need the correction/guidance when the behavior happens.

Side note:  When you set up the conference try not to take the attitude that it's "the center's/teacher's fault"... try to go in with the attitude that you would like to work with them to resolve what seems to be bothering your child.  Getting in to "help" in your child's classroom may be very benefitial to you.  I find that observing your child/teacher unknowingly is not very often possible since very few centers have observation rooms or one-way windows.  If you can work it out to be in the classroom on a regular basis, for awhile, you may get an idea of what's going on.  Stopping in unannounced seems to work as well.  If they have a problem with this...it's time to look for another center.

Good luck!