How do I deal with my 3 year old and her temper?

Question

She is younger than her sister by one minute. I am not sure if this plays a role in it or not but I am at my wits end on trying to deal with her temper and her lashing out at me. I am a single mom so there is no one else to help me when I am by myself. My mom is my day care and she is having the same problems that I am.

It started a couple of weeks ago where she will just lay on the floor kicking and screaming and sometimes even growling whatever it is that she is not getting or wanting to do. She kicks me and if I move to a different part of the room, she crawls on the floor and follows me. I try to keep my voice down but sometimes I holler at her. I know this makes it worse.

At least two or three times a week, she has a bad dream and wakes up kicking and hollering. Just last night, I heard her talking in her sleep and then a few minutes later, she had bitten her sister. (They share the same bed). I am unsure if she was still asleep or not b/c I didn't turn the light on. She was very very agitated. I just need some advice from an experienced parent on this! Her sister for the time being shows no signs of tantrums or the agressive behavior.

If anyone can offer me some advice on what to do, I would truly appreciate it!

Thank you.

Answer 1

ok it sounds quite bad

but you have got to make sure that you don't shout

and make sure that you NEVER hit her

its illegal and wrong

you should start doing time outs

but don't react to the her if she has a tantrum

because then she will thinks she gets attention for it and keep having tantrums.

give your other daughter more attention when the younger one is not behaving then she will get used to the fact if she is good then she will get more attention

hope i helped

x

Answer 2

An area where she can relax is a good idea. Don't suppose you've seen Supernanny? The kids on there are seriously a handful with their tantrums. There's a thing called the naughty chair/step/corner. So if she's bitten her sister then you should take her over there and calmly tell her to stay there for 3 minutes (one minute for each yr of her age) and then go back and explain why she is there and ask for an apology. But if she doesn't sit there the first time then just keep putting her back there, it will tire you out but they will learn that it's the wrong thing to do.

Also spending individual time with the twins is a good idea too and how about if they could take up some hobby? Like karate/dancing or a sport that lets them release a bit of energy and frustration.  

Answer 3

Fist off, they need their own beds!  They are twins but they are also individuals.  That may be part of the problem.  She may feel like she doesn't have her own identity and is lashing out in frustration.  Does she have any interests of her own that her sister does not?  See if your mom can watch the other child and do something special with just you and her.  Then the next weekend switch twins!  They need to know that you love them as individual daughters.  Not just as 'the twins'.

Also you can make a 'cool down' area in your home.  Maybe a corner with some pillows and coloring books or story books.  Where she can go to when she is having a tantrum.  Tell her to stay there until she feels she is calmed down.

Answer 4

All the previous advices are great! You can consider if there's someone new in her life.  Someone could be bothering her and you need to know who that may be so you can protect her better or ease her reaction to whatever it is.