How do I deal with my mom?

Question

I just turned 17 & I'm working. I work about 35 hours a week (only morning on weekdays) & I'm making good enough money.

My mom is working evenings on weekdays.

Every time I get my paycheck, my mom expects me to give her half the money... I really don't want to give that much to her.

She's already making her own money & expects my to gave her $500 if I make $1,000.

I just don't think it's fair, considering that I work more hours than she does, babysit when she's out & am ALWAYS cleaning the house & doing things for her.

Whenever I try to explain to my mom how I feel, she replys angrily saying that she brought me up, pays for my bus pass, got me stuff for back-to-school... yaddah yaddah... but in my mind, I think that's just something that a mother should do...

Am I wrong to think that the money that I get for working hard should stay with me? I really want to save it for university, but my mom keeps asking for it =(

Answer 1

When I lived at home and worked I was able to keep my money but I also gave to my mom because it helped out. I think the giving shouldn't be expected. I don't agree with your mom and I don't like that she brings up the fact that she's raised you and deserves a pay back. That is why one is  a parent after all.  I'm not sure what to tell you and I don't know the circumstances. As long as you live at home you don't have much of a choice. So you have to decide whether to keep your money ,help out at home and live with her comments or to share your income and have it a  bit easier. Are you able to move out?  

Answer 2

write to a newspaper columnist in big paper;hope they pick yourQ &

then you can show it to Mom

I agree w how you feel-but you didn't give many details about the

financial situation in your household so that's why I suggested writing

to a neutral counselor type w lots experience

Answer 3

just  tell  here  yes

Answer 4

You are in the right, not your mom. Simple and plain, you get what you earn. Your mom decided to have a child which means she is RESPONSIBLE for taking care of you. Her care is not a priviledge. I dont know exactly how you would go about telling her this without some kind of reaction with understanding, maybe talk to another family member that would defend you, or go live with a different family member.

Answer 5

That is ridiculous. Your mom should work for the family. Its not your job to support her. Your trying to save your money for college and she should understand that. I cant believe she would even ask for your money. Its her responsibility to take care of you.  

Answer 6

Tell your mom: "I work because i needed the money for University budget". But once in a while, giving it to her could be good.

Try bargaining too :)

Answer 7

I think you are right!!!! Take that $500,00 and go out and rent you a house and pay the electric bill. Get your own food, you can get only the stuff you like etc. Buy shampoo and soap, the kinds you like too.

I guess you could always tell her no and see what happens.

Probably not popular, but maybe you should just pay the money. You are working at 17 and making good money. You are giving the money to your mom as she asks. You watch the younger kids when your mother is at work. You love your mother and have a good relationship with her. Sounds like you are a great young woman that any parent would be proud of. Some of that is because you had some kind of good guide lines to follow as you were growing up. Your life is going to be a lot easier than people that had everything handed to them and not taught responsibility. I think it will pay you back in life many times over, a lot more than the money you are paying her now. I think you should tuff it out, a few years in a life time is a small amount of time.

I am curious about how much money from the other half of your money you have saved for school.

Answer 8

I understand how you feel but with many parents they expect their children to pay them back once they get older. You should try to come to an agreement with her and maybe just give her a steady amount each month BUT HALF is a bit much especially when you are trying to save up for college. And maybe she shold work a little more if she really needs the money. You are 17 so she is still obligated to provide for you and not the other way around. If you make like $800 a month then agree to giving her like twohundred a month or so. Or if shes real stubborn just tell her your gonna quit your job unless she agrees to either no money or a smaller amount.

Answer 9

Ohh I thnk it is fair, you see because she is the person who groomed and controlled your actions who took care of you, bathed you when you were just an infant..Who helped you in times of need. Who only wanted what is best for her little girl, but the amount of money is not fair, give her like $100 or something...

Answer 10

Ok even if you were saving it to buy something you didn't need she still shouldn't take your money. That is ridiculous, it's not your job to help support the family, it's hers. Especially since you're trying to save for a university. Since you love her so much you should be able to talk to her about this and tell her that you're not giving her any more money.