How do I deal with my mum and my fiance's mum not getting along? what can I do to help the situation?

Question

My fiance's family are asian and we are australia so straight away there are cultural differences which make it harder...no one is being racist or anything, it's just misunderstandings in the way both of our mum's are communicating. This is causing my fiance and I to fight and makes it harder for us to plan the wedding. I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

you and your fiance need to sit down and plan your wedding, and stop all the fighting words, when the parents see your are happy and going on with the wedding everything will fall in place.

Answer 2

What are they fighting over? Maybe you need to speak to your mother and your fiance speak to his mother and tell both of them that they need to stop arguing with each other. It is stressful enough planning a wedding without petty squabbles between family members. It is your and your fiance's wedding so the decisions should be left up to both of you- not either mother.

Answer 3

hirer a wedding planner

always is the best

makes ur life smoother and ur soon to be husband and the family

make sure u check out her previous weddings and see if its a success

All the Best!!!

Answer 4

Well Maybe You & Your Fiance Should Decide What YOU Want For Your Wedding, Then Just Tell Both Your Parents "This Is What We Would Like".

Answer 5

Don't have your moms communicate directly.  Make sure all the wedding planning communication goes through you.  You deal with your mother, and your fiance deals with his.  This way, there should be less misunderstandings since you obviously know where your mothers are coming from.  Additionally, this will cut down on blame-throwing across the families.  If your fiance tells his mother something, she can't blame you or your mother, and vice-versa.

Try to stay calm with your fiance (despite all the pressures you're getting from both sides of the family!) throughout the planning process.  Good luck, and happy planning!

Answer 6

look you should go to visit your mum's  together and explain to them that this going to be the day that your families are going to just put their differences aside so that you can all have a great day to remember and cherish..

if you are as straight forward as alot  of us Aussie's then it should be easy to say exactly what you feel......

if not just enjoy your day and have a great one...

Answer 7

Don't worry about the moms, as long as you and your fiance are getting along everything should be fine. After all you and her are marrying not your moms!!!

Answer 8

You are the bride, and it's your wedding.  Therefore you make all the decisions.  The only thing you communicate to his family is what color dress your mother is wearing because she gets first choice, and the only other thing you need from her or your fiance is the guest list for their side of the family.  That is the proper wedding protocol.  They can communicate and talk at the night before dinner.  :-D  Other than that, all decisions are yours (and your mother.)  

Answer 9

Sit down with both families so that your future hubby can act as interpreter if needed.  Also, what exactly is so important that the Mum's need to be communicating about that would cause you and FH to fight?  Look at this situation as a preview of your married life if you do not settle this problem now.