How do I deal with out of control kids?

Question

A friend of mine is a single mom of 2 kids + one on the way. She lives at home with her mom so sometimes she comes to my home. I am pregnant with my first child. Since we are both preggers, we make time together. My only problem is her kids. They are 4 & 7 year old boys. Alone they are ok-together is a disaster! I understand kids have energy and need to play-however, I know this does not include my house being destroyed. They take stuff out of my closets, bedroom and cabinets and play with them. They scribble on stuff like important paperwork and my kitchen table. They jump on my furniture. They're smart-mouth the both of us. I keep my things tucked away, but since they feel they can "dig" in my stuff it does not work. Sad part is, I have to tell my friend to get her children to stop-otherwise she acts like she does not see them doing a thing. I don't want to be the person always saying "no, no, stop!" How can I get her to control her kids without comming off the wrong way?

Answer 1

as a parent you need to take authority with these kids and tell her that you want them to grown up respectable kids and if she doesn't gain control of them now THERE WILL BE A BIG ISSUE YET TO COME.  WHAT ABOUT WHEN THEIR TEENS THAT RIGHT THERE is a stage where it's most difficult

Answer 2

Your friend is the one who has to do something about them, if you have to acknowledge their behavior to her then she dosen't see anything wrong with the behavior. If you don't want to be the one calling them down constantly then you have to tell her straight up and she may get her feelings hurt or get mad but that's just the chance you are going to have to take. Either tell her to do something about it or you just get used to it.

Answer 3

Young lady you can not do it for your friend! SHE HAS TO CONTROL HER KIDS! As far as your property, yes, you need to say to the kids, this is my stuff stay out of it! AND BE FIRM!Also, when they are jumping on your furniture, and getting into your stuff, or scribbling on your important papers YOU ARE TO TELL THEM TO STOP, OR THEY WILL NOT BE ALLOWED BACK IN YOUR HOUSE!You need to be up-front with the friend, tell her you don't appreciate her kids ruining your things, and that if she doesn't control her kids, she won't be allowed back your house(I know this harsh BUT if you keep quiet and don't say anything) you're not helping the situation, you're just making it worse! If you jog your friend's mind, to where she has to correct her children or else, maybe she'll realize something (positive has to be done), you could also tell her that all the things they ruined that some you can't replace, is putting a strain on  your friendship with her! And you could tell her(truthfully &honestly) that the reason you will not go shopping with her is because of no discipline to her children, and NOT TO MENTION" you have a special one you need to be worried about too! Yours to be born!Just flat come out and tell her if she does not displine her children, THEY CAN NOT COME OVER ANYMORE! Because it is putting a strain on you, and (YOUR BABY),and that you  can not tolerate! Nor do you have to!Just tell straight out how you feel!She is important(as far as friends go), BUT YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT TOO!You need to be taking care of you now, not your friend! She can take care of herself! Pray for her and her children!

Answer 4

Offer to meet at her place sometimes. Or when they come over, YOU set the rules for YOUR house. Tell the boys "I know it is fun to run and jump and play, but please don't run in the house or jump on my furniture and I will allow you to play with these items in this area as long as you treat my house well. Most kids just need some instructions and they will do what you ask. You have to understand, they are bored! If you must, go to the dollar store and buy a few cheap toys and coloring books. Or get some kid movies from a second hand shop. Store this stuff in a basket and pull it out when they come over. Also try keeping kid friendly snacks in your home just for them and let them know you got it just for them. They will be more appreciative and probably behave better. If non of this works, talk to your friend and ask very gently is there anything she needs help with as far as guiding their behavior. She may be offended at first, but if you make her realize that you only want to help them be accepted in other social situations, she may end up beign eternally grateful.

Answer 5

Honestly your mission may be impossible with out your friend have some kind of parenting classes.  I have a siter that has 3 kids and she let them run and act CRAZY, but they know at my house they have to be have and stay out of the no no items.  I have older kids, that don't play with toys, so I bought a small toy box and keep different toys in it.  These to are smart mouth little kids but they don't do it to me.  You are going to have to just tell her to control her kids or not to be upset if you disipline them.  Try to get them to play out if possible.  

My sister does get upset sometimes.    She has had parenting classes but it does not work if they don't use what they learned.

Christy

Answer 6

Can you meet at a playground or a McDonald's playland type of place so that the little monsters can get out their energy in good ways rather than mess up your house and make you a nervous wreck?  You don't have to spend a lot of money at a fast food restaurant if you wish to use their play facilities.

Your "friend" obviously has no control over her children and also does not respect you or your property.

If you still want to keep this friendship, and if she and her brats must go to your house sometimes, you need to make some important ground rules.   It is your house and you make the rules, if they cannot abide by them and if the mom continues to be spineless, you should re-think the importance of keeping this friendship.  From my perspective, it seems like it is all one-sided.

Best wishes to you.