How do I deal with the fact that I cant have kids right now?

Question

My man isnt ready for anymore yet. He has two from a previous relationship. But I have been wanting kids for awhile now. I keep thinking every month I am going to be pregnant and all that good stuff..

Answer 1

Are you guys married or just in a relationship? I would be worried about him staying around if you do get pregnant since he didn't stay with the mother of his other two children.

I would start trying to figure out why he doesn't want to have any with you right now (or ever). Is it that he doesn't want them because he has two young ones already? Is it that he is saying the word "yet" but really means never? Is he trying to see if "you are the one" and then decide since it didn't work out with the last relationship?

There are so many factors for you that you should be thinking about and talking to him about. You don't want to pressure him, but you also don't want to be in a relationship with someone who may never be ready to have anymore kids.

Also, if you do get pregnant, and he ends up saying I didn't want this and leaves you....then what.

Maybe the two of you can set up a time frame together. It doesn't mean he will be any more ready then....but it will give you a good idea about if he is a person worth giving up your dream for, and then you can choose to move on or stay. OR he could be ready at that time and then you guys can get to  baby making and both share the excitement and happiness that pregnancy can bring.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Try to not pressure him into having a baby, but make sure you are clear that you do want children, soon. I was unable to conceive for 7 years and I just tried to not think about it. I actually was finally at a place where I was okay not having children and then my husband starts talking about it again and we went to the doctor and it happened. Just keep into consideration that he is not ready yet. Put your mind on other things and try not thinking about it.

Answer 3

relax  get married first ,make sure its a solid relationship otherwise you could be alone raising this baby? like millions of others who played house first , this economy sucks right now and medicaid is clamping down so prepare for the worst senario, no money, no job, no security , wait

now you can make yourself psychosamatic pregnant  your hormons change and you feel preg so be careful! i wanted a 3rd baby had my tubes tied thought about being preg for months went to the dr  and my urine said i was preg  dr  thought it was ectopic i  had ovarian cyst but my blood said i wasn't  preg so our minds play tricks!

besides  you can always babysit  volunteer in day cares, to soothe your longing! then maybe he will feel more assured ? and you will be ready for the 2 am runs?

you can alway pray about this its in God's timing  enjoy life  get married and it might happen when your not trying!  

Answer 4

That is a hard one.  You just have to find a way to keep your mind off of it.  My husband and I are waiting however I would love to have a baby now.  Sometimes I get a little upset about it but other times I am ok.  Mainly because while I want kids, I dont want them when he is not ready.  I have been keeping myself busy with Scrapbooking, which I love!  I get really excited when doing projects and it keeps my mind off things.  You just have to find something that helps you.  Also talking to your husband/boyfriend will help.  I talk to my husband about it just so he knows how I feel and then when we are both ready we will start trying.

Answer 5

Well that's a tuffy . Your man isn't ready right now. If you want him to be your child's father, there's nothing you can do but wait on him. If he didn't say he didn't want children at all then I wouldn't worry. If you feel anxious about having children talk to him. Let him know how you really feel.  

Answer 6

this is tough.  if you want kids and he's not ready yet, how long are you able to wait?  have you both agreed to that? what if between now and then, he decides he doesn't want more kids at all?  will you stay or will you have to go in order to have kids with someone else?  only you have the answers, only you know how important this is to your life.  if you feel must have children then you have a lot to decide.  one thing is for sure, never, never, never surprise the man with a pregnancy that you haven't both decided on.  it is unfair to the child most of all, to enter the world not wanted by one of the parents.  don't go with "he'll change his mind when he sees the baby".  be honest and fair.  i wish you luck.

Answer 7

I would just make sure that he is "going" to be ready to have more kids in the future.  the more time you wait the bigger the age gap between the new baby and the kids from the previous relationship.  if he says someday... and actually means it. just wait it out, and saver your sleep and looks for a bit longer..hehe.  i just dont want you to waste your time with someone who maybe down the road will say they don't want anymore kids at all... it happened to me.  i felt like i wasted so much time.... good luck!