How do I deal with the mother in law and my step son's mom?

Question

My Fiance has a 3 year old boy. We have no time during the week to spend with him so we have him during the weekends. I want to spend time with my fiance and his son since this is the only time we have time to spend together, and well my mother in law wants to keep Junior (step son). He spends too much time with her and we want to keep him away little by little, How do we make Juniors mom and my future mother in law to stay out of it. HELP!!!!

Answer 1

you can't keep a child away from his mum, that's not your choice to make. But you should get your fiance to talk to his mum. Try not to get on her bad side

Answer 2

This is up to the father, and birth mother of this child.  This child has been with the grandmother a lot as this is how your fiance set thing up.  Your best bet is to stay out of it and not create any more problems. Do what is BEST for the child not what is best for your schedule.  

Answer 3

Grandma has the right to see her grandson too.  Maybe you could work something out with her.  If you have the boy all weekend, maybe he could spend Friday night with his dad and you and all day Saturday.  Let him go to Grandma's on Sat. night and then your fiance and yourself can go there for Sunday dinner.  Then you and your fiance can take the boy back to his mother.  Everyone gets time with the kid and everyone is happy.

Answer 4

What is the custody agreement?  If the custody agreement includes the child spending scheduled time with his mother and with his grandmother, you'd have to go to court to change the arrangements.  However, if the agreement only stipulates that the child will spend time with his mother and father, then his father needs to set up a new schedule for the grandmother to see the child.

So, if his mother has him Sunday night through Friday afternoon, for example, and his father has him Friday afternoon to Sunday evening, he needs to tell the grandmother she can see him from noon to 1 on Saturday and at family functions only.

You could also talk to the child's mother and see if she would be willing to let the grandmother see him some during the times she has the boy.  Maybe she would be willing to let the grandmother have him one or two afternoons or evenings a week.

The father is the one, however, that needs to handle this situation.  No need in you getting in a bad position before you all are married.  He may just need to tell his mom that you and he are raising the boy together and you need more time with him.

Answer 5

well this is for your future husband to handle not you.  If his mother is constantly taking the child, then he needs to talk to her, and tell her that his son will be staying with him on the weekends.  If your finace has visitation rights, then juniors mom should have nothing to say about his father keeping him.

Keep this in mind as well, If your finace's mother has been keeping the child because his father had other things to do on the weekends and such and did not make the child a part of his life, or give up going out and or parting while he had the child, then to me that is just oh well, if he didn't care b4 then why care now.....I aim not saying this is what he has done, but just to make you aware just in case, and for others who may be in the same situation.....that putting your child off on your parents when it is your turn to have him/her...is a huge warning sign meaning "I really don't want anything to do with you, so go stay here while I go do important things, because other things are more important"

Answer 6

dad needs to step in unless grandma has custody; then he has to go too court and get visitation sceduled.

Answer 7

How do you get her to stay out of it?  Well, you can't control her for starters.  You probably won't be able to make her understand where you are coming from and it is possible that no matter how reasonable you are that she may be offended.  

Fortunately for you, since she isn't your mother, it isn't your burden to decide how to approach her but rather your fiance's.  I would say to encourage him to be honest and kind and not give into pressure.  Try to be as supportive as you can.